I did not find out by myself that my wife was cheating on me. Who told me? Bruno, our pit bull. There were some burglaries in our neighborhood and my wife wanted to get a dog for protection. I was dead set against it. Thank God my wife prevailed. I demanded that she have the dog professionally trained. I wanted him totally under our control. He did well. With practice after practice, we were able to teach him to intimidate any strangers and yet how to act towards people we considered good guys. He would attack on command and withdraw on command.
This story involves me Steven, my wife Kandy, her lover Josh, and our dog, Bruno. Kandy and I had been married for five years and were planning to have children soon. Prior to the night in question, I would have said we were a happily married couple. That was because I was totally in love but, unfortunately, completely clueless.
It happened one Wednesday night, my bowling night. Just as I was ready to leave the house there was a man at the door. I inquired as to his business. He stammered that he worked with my wife and he was supposed to pick up some papers related to a project they were working on together. My wife was the Public Relations Director for our mayor. He said he was the mayor's liaison with the City Council. I invited him in.
Something seemed wrong. Actually, several somethings. First and foremost, Bruno did not growl or bark at him. He went up to Josh who rubbed Bruno's head. I asked Josh, "Kandy is really proud of the way she has decorated the house, I'll be glad to show you around if you haven't seen it before."
Josh quickly responded, "No, I've never been here before." That did not compute given Bruno's friendly greeting.
Kandy shortly joined us and looked shocked at seeing Josh and I standing together. Her silence was full of tension. Josh spoke up. "Kandy, I came by to pick up the Anderson project papers. I'm sorry to bother you at home. I'm glad I finally got to see your house you've talked about. I'm really impressed on how you have decorated it."
Kandy looked relieved and said, "Oh yes, the Anderson project papers. I'll go to my home office and get them. It may take me a minute to put them together." She left us but shouted back to me to offer Josh a drink.
After getting us a couple of ice teas, I broke the awkward silence, "So, is that the big project that has had Kandy working late on the last few weeks?"
"Yes, it's a priority for the mayor. When he says 'jump,' we say 'How high?'" Josh tried to laugh, but it was too strained. I followed with typical questions about his family and found out he was married with one six-year-old boy. I told him that Kandy and I were about to start a family. He said he knew. My blood began to boil.
Kandy brought out one of those colored manila folders with some papers in it and handed it to Josh. Everyone looked at each other like no one knew what to do next. Finally, I said. "Josh, you have to move your car so I can get my car out of the garage."
He apologized profusely and headed for his car. Josh quickly backed out and pulled away. I followed soon after. I didn't go too far. First, I called my bowling team captain, Ernie, and told him I could not bowl tonight. He said not to worry as the new guy, Bernard, in finance had come to see if he could bowl as a substitute. Ernie informed me that if the new guy was any good, he would replace my sorry ass.
I pulled out onto the street that lead into our neighborhood and took the first left onto the next street over. There was an alley leading from that street to our street that passed by our house. I pulled into the alley making sure my car was not visible from our house. I waited. In about ten minutes, I saw Josh's car pull back into our driveway. I went to a window of our living room which I remembered I had opened earlier to let in some fresh air. This is what I heard.
"What the hell? Are you stupid, crazy or both? You were not supposed to come until 7:30?"
"I'm sorry. I thought you said 6:30."
"No, I said my husband leaves at 6:30 to go bowling."
"I'm sorry, okay? Do you think he's suspicious?"
"I don't think so. He's very trusting. Plus, he's so jacked up about having kids, he would never divorce me even if he did catch us. But, still, I don't want him to find out about us."
"So, are we going to continue to see each other after you have a kid?"
"No way. We can enjoy each other for a little while, but once I'm off the pill, we're done. I love my husband. You're my last chance to have a different dick before I become loyal again."
"So, tonight are we going to . . . "
"We might as well. But I'm going to have to have a stiff drink before I am ready for your stiff dick."
After they both enjoyed a drink, they headed up to the guest bedroom. Bruno tried to follow but was told to stay downstairs.
I'm not an impulse kind of guy. I left and went to a local bar to contemplate what to do next. When I thought about a divorce, I remembered how much Kandy's father, Frank, had insisted on a pre-nup. Kandy was more against one than me. She won. He was afraid that some man would cheat on his daughter just like his wife had cheated on him. Frank was a big, rough intimidating guy. I knew if I told him what was going on, he would never believe me. He would have to see proof himself. Suddenly, an idea hit, and a big grin appeared on my face.
Next bowling night, I called Frank. I told him I needed his help on a project in the bathroom across from our guest bedroom. He fancied himself as a handy man, so he jumped at the chance. I told him to come at 7:45. He was informed that there might be a strange car in the driveway. The excuse was that it was a rental because my car was in the shop. He had a key so I told him to just come in and go upstairs as I would already be started working.
Everything fell into place. I waited until Frank, punctual as ever, went into the house. I followed soon after. In less than five minutes all hell broke loose upstairs. I heard Frank and Josh struggling and Kandy shouting, "No, no, please God, no." I joined the group. Frank volunteered to talk first.
"Steven, I am so sorry that you have to find out your wife, my daughter, is a worthless slut. If you feel you have to divorce her, I will not object." Before I could respond, Josh made a move to put on his clothes. I grabbed his pants and took out his cell phone.
I asked for his code. It took the threat of kicking him out nude without car keys before he gave in. I let him leave with everything except the phone. Well, I didn't quite let him leave. As soon as he got to the bottom of the stairs, I yelled, "Kill Bruno, Kill." Almost immediately we heard screams for help as Bruno tore into him. I threatened Kandy to be quiet. After a few minutes, I called Bruno off.
From downstairs I heard, "You asshole. I'll sue you for this. I'll . . . "
He didn't get to finish his sentence before I called out, "Bruno . . ."
There was another scream from Josh, and the sound of the front door being slammed. I called for Bruno. He came upstairs to us. His face was dripping with blood and he had a piece of pants material stuck in his teeth. "Good boy. There will be extra treats for you tonight." He knew the word 'treats' and started acting like a puppy in anticipation.
Kandy whimpered, "Steven, it wasn't anything. It was only . . . "