Manny

The main character in this story is one dimensional who seems to lack emotional depth but is otherwise quite brilliant. There is no sex in the story but there are BTB's. Enjoy.

I would meet Manny once a week. He was a friendly but strange character. Awkward (he would never look you in the eye), nerdy, brilliant and so much a numbers guy but always smiling.

I would see him at exactly 10:22 Saturday mornings at my local coffee shop. While I had my black coffee, I overheard him ordering a steeped green tea at 67 degrees C.

We would have this pet greeting where I would say, "Hi, Manny. Nice weather."

He would respond (while staring at my feet) "24.46​ ​C​, 12.42 km/hr, 101.67 ​KPa" (always in metric).

Then I would say something like, "Yes, but 30% chance of rain"

To which he would reply "34.97%" Then we would both laugh and carry on with our day.

One Saturday he walked over to where I was sitting and announced, "I would like you to represent me in court, August 17th."

"How did you know I was a lawyer?"

"You are Thomas Weston, 745 Oliver lane. You practice law at Dewey, Wynne and Howe (pardon the joke), for 18.67 years....."

"Yes, but how did you know?"

"Observation"

"Okay, what do you need?"

"I am being extorted for $548,149.20."

"That's an odd number."

"60% in common terms."

"You are losing me. Why do you need me to represent you in court?"

"I am also being charged with sexual assault and aggravated assault."

"What's this 60% about?"

"My supposed common law 'wife', which she is not, but rather my live-in housekeeper with benefits. She is suing me for palimony."

"Palimony suits are more difficult to prove. Who has charged you with these criminal allegations? Let me guess--your supposed common law 'wife'."

"I knew you were a good attorney," he adds without humor. "I will give you a $32,358.29 retainer."

"That's a strange number. Are you suspecting a long-drawn-out trial, because that is a much larger retainer than normal?"

"No, it should be short. I will also need you to be a director on at least one of my trust consortiums?"

"Okay. We will discuss fees later. I want to ask you a question first."

"Please look at me. Please look me in the eyes. Did you sexually assault and/or physically assault your supposed common law 'wife'?

"No. But I insist you take my fee in full. Cash."

August 17, 20XX

County of XXXXXXXXXXX, Court # XX XXXXXXXXXXX,

Judge XXXX: You are charged with Sexual Assault and Aggravated assault. To the charge of Sexual Assault, how do you plead?

Defendant (Manny): Not Guilty

Judge: To the charge of Aggravated Assault, how do you plead?

Manny: Guilty

Prosecuting Attorney (PA): Your honor. We were not expecting the defendant to plead Guilty. We offered him a plea deal but he refused, indicating he would plead Not Guilty.

Judge: What was your offer?

PA: The complainant is married/common law to the accused, and she is wanting a quick divorce with punitive conditions and a restraining order placed against the accused to protect herself and the child she is carrying..

Judge: What were the divorce conditions?

PA: The complainant is to receive 60% of assets and future income.

Judge: That seems punitive.

PA: The defendant earns $ 1,000,000 a year.

Judge: (addressing the defendant) Is that correct?

Manny: $913,582.02

Outside the court room, the 'wife's' lawyer approached me. "Tell your client that Susan will drop the sexual assault charge; but we now demand 80% of his income and assets. The kicker is Susan is carrying his child from his heinous rape"

Returning to Manny, "Why did you plead guilty to the lesser charge? We agreed to a stellar defense against both charges. She now wants 80% and also claims she is carrying your child."

"This gives me an 87.42% chance of a positive result. There is a 99.84% chance that it is not my child. Take their offer."

'How do you know it's not yours?"

"Her menstruation cycles are 28.79 days, ovulation peak of 3.23 days after day 12.47 days. And she has other lovers, her attorney being one."

"Their offer is just their attempt at strong arming you. I suggest we counter at the very least."

"No, take the offer. I will give you instructions for the judge."

Back in the judge's chambers, Susan's counsel indicates "We are dropping the sexual assault charge, but we recommend sentencing for the Aggravated Assault charge be served on weekends, thus allowing the defendant the ability to keep his job and payments to his soon to be ex-'wife'. Not to mention all the tax monies going to the various forms of government."

Judge ponders, then agrees.

Saturday, August 27. 10:12 am. State penitentiary.

"I am here to see Manny Malfour."

A correctional officer takes me to what I find is the Warden's office. A pretty receptionist in the outer office asks "Are you Manny's 10:12 appointment? Mister Weston?

I nod and enter the Warden's office. Manny is busy working away on four computers on the Warden's desk. "What's going on Manny?"

"Oh, the extra computers, I only use three at home. These are much slower."

"No, why are you in the Warden's office?"

"He doesn't work weekends."

Just as I'm about to ask more questions, a correctional officer sticks his head in the office "Baseball game today?"

"Seattle has a 74.21% chance of covering."

"Now Thomas, I asked you to come in because I would like you to be a director of XXXX Trust."

"Manny my head is swirling, let me in on what is going on."

"It's quite simple Thomas. My employment status was dependent upon my not having any criminal convictions. Because of that, I am now unemployed--80% of 0 is zero. My home is owned by Trust XXXX. Check section c, 14-b of the bylaws for what to tell Susan. I expect you to be receiving a call from my ex-'wife' soon."

"Now it is difficult to keep my exact schedule here but it is close. Time for our 10:22 beverage. I know you drink your coffee black. I took the privilege of asking Angela to heat your coffee to 67 C ​"

He switches the intercom on, "Angela, please bring in our drinks."

Angela enters the office carrying the tray with our beverages. "The black Arabica is 67.52 C. I factored in the cooling aspect ​of staying on the tray. Just as your steeped green tea (various blends) is 67.52 C, Manny. Again because of the cooling aspect."

"You are such a peach, Angela. No wonder this prison is run so well.

"Angela, that will be all. Please see Thomas out. Oh Angela, I recommend shorting IBM at 12:05pm, and buy back next Thursday, opening bell."

"Thank you, sir."

The following Monday, Susan calls, "What's this about Manny being fired?"

I explained the 80% of 0. "Also, you will be asked to leave your house in 30 days. These are Manny's exact words, "Conviction = Eviction."

"But I haven't been convicted of anything."

"According to the trust agreement over seeing your house, if two or more directors of said Trust, find you committing a crime--let's say of extortion, falsifying police reports, or falsifying paternity claims, you have 30 days to leave the premises. Good day."

Chapter 2: 3 1/2 years later.

I did not expect to be Manny's lawyer again, but here I was in another court room.

Judge XXXX: You are charged with Kidnapping. How do you plead?

Manny: Not Guilty

Judge: Are both counsels ready to continue?

(PA): Yes, your honor.

Me: We are ready your honor.

PA: Your honor and members of the jury, we will prove beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the defendant, is a dangerous convicted felon who will stoop so low as to kidnap a 3-year-old......

.........blah, blah, blah for 30 minutes. (Manny tells me 28min and 14 seconds.)

Me: Your honor and esteemed members of the jury, we have fool proof evidence that my client is innocent. (I then sit down)

PA: I call police officer Samuel Burns to the stand. (After swearing in) Mr. Burns can you tell what happened on Tuesday, September 5th.

Off. Burns: I arrested Mr. Malfour, in possession of the infant Joey Smith.

Me: No questions.

PA: I call Mrs. Susan Smith to the stand. Describe what you saw the night of Monday, September 4th.

Susan: I saw Manny take Joey out of the family room. When I raced to the door, Rachel gave chase but they were both gone. I then called the police.

Me: No questions, but I reserve the right to ask questions later.

PA: I call Mrs. Rachel Smith. Can you describe what you saw that evening?

Rachel: I was working in the backyard near our fence, when I heard Susan screaming. I turned and saw Mr. Malfour carrying Joey in his arms and racing out of the yard in the other direction. Manny surprised me in how fast he ran. I ran as fast and far before I lost him. Thankfully the police found him the next morning and arrested that foul creature.

PA: Thank you Mrs. Smith.

Me: (I rise slowly) Mrs. Smith, can you describe your relationship with the other Mrs. Smith.

Rachel: We are married. We married after she split from that brute-- Manny Malfour. Imagine after the beating she undertook and being heavily pregnant--he had her evicted. I was there to scoop her up. We have been happily married for over three years.

Me: Yes, Manny's alleged beating from three years ago. I understand from the police report you saw Manny hit Susan?

R: Yes, and he was rightfully convicted.

Me: I would like to show you two photographs taken at that time.

PA: Objection, your honor. Relevance.

Me: Your honor, I want show that (Rachel) is not a credible witness. Not only does she have a biased opinion but she has falsified if not perjured herself.

Judge: Carry on but make your point quickly.

Me: Thank you your honor. Now (Rachel) I am showing you a photograph taken by the police of (Susan) at the time of her supposed injuries. Now, I will show you a picture taken 7 days later at the trial. See any differences?

R: No, I don't see any difference.

Me: That is my point, there is no difference. Susans bruises are the same color--almost exactly the same. Normally there should be some change in the bruises.

R: She is a very slow healer.

Me: Now what about her broken arm? Here is another photo taken two week later by the Sherriff who was helping her move. Notice how she is lifting her suitcase with her supposed broken arm.

R: It was a cracked bone.

Me: Now I am can bring in Dr. Evers, who treated her, to the stand later regarding her broken arm, but can you please tell us the truth about her injuries.

R: We may have embellished her injuries, but that was only because of the emotional abuse that monster lay upon her. Can you imagine evicting the mother of his child.

Me: Yes, his child. Can we get a DNA test to verify this.

R: No! We thought it was his at first, but that freak could never have fathered a child.

Me: Now we come to the night of September 4th when you witnessed Manny in the actual kidnapping.

R: Yes. You are probably going to try and make light of my eyesight but I'll have you know it is 20/20. Or that it was too dark. But I saw Manny carrying Joey away. Just as clear as I see that dangerous felon (pointing to Manny) today in the courtroom.

Me: No, I have the crime scene photos and there are only one set of footprints going away from the sliding door. How can you explain this?

R: He's a crafty devil and walked in his same footprints coming and going.

Me: They are a size 7K--child's.

R: I knew you would ask me that too. He was on his tip toes.

Me: So, Joey who weighs 30 lbs, was in Manny's arms and Manny out ran you. On his tip toes. While Manny is a brilliant genius, he has physical limitations--and he still out ran you while carry a 30 lbs child?

R: He must be wiry and maybe his adrenalin kicked in.

Me: And your adrenalin did not?

R: Yes, plus I think I also stumbled.

Me: You are sticking with your story that Manny kidnapped Joey?

R: Yes, plus he was caught red handed.

Me: Yes, his arrest. When I asked Manny how Joey ended up in his arms upon his arrest, do you know what he said?

R: Who knows what that crazy would say?

Me: At first it sounded odd, but he said 'Walm/CCTV/Rr/SW/04/ 7:46 am? Do you know what that means?...... No...... Walmart/ Closed Circuit TV/ Rear/ South west quadrant. This happens to be 2 blocks from where Manny was arrested. It is showing a dark green Chevrolet. It stops and a woman gets out and opens the back door. Joey gets out and heads directly towards Manny.

I could call the driver to the stand, who I assure you will tell the truth. She doesn't want to get in further trouble. I suggest you start telling the truth. For your own benefit. Now, I ask you who was that driver?

(Rachel): ​The Babysitter.

Me: I couldn't hear you. Speak up.

(Rachel): The Babysitter!

Me: Was Joey at the babysitter's house all through this supposed kidnapping.

(Rachel): Yes.

Me: Now Mrs. Smith, do you know what Joey said to Manny when he approached.

(Rachel): Yes. "Daddy".

Me: You knew this all along. You knew that Joey was Manny's son. That is why you don't want a DNA test. You and (Susan) have been framing Manny. At the first trial and now today. I claim that when you found out that Manny, who you crippled financially, was the actual father--you tried to keep him out of Joey's life. For 30 years to life!!!

(Rachel): We don't want him in Joey's life. Maybe we framed him, but only because he is such a freak and we didn't want him in Joey's life. (Turning to the judge) Your Honor we are sorry we went to these extremes--but we want Joey to have a normal home with love. We suspected because Joey was so smart, he was Manny's son when he turned one. But Manny is incapable of loving and caring for a child. His only redeeming quality was his money and even there he freakishly refuses to get a job. Your honor we were trying to protect Joey like any good parent.

Epilogue: Six days later

Angela and I were sitting in the living room with a Mrs. Harper from Children's Aid. Joey was playing on a tablet nearby. She smiled, "This is a lovely home, Angela. Joey has a decent size bedroom. We will be giving you and your husband temporary custody--perhaps in a fostering care situation."

"That's good news. But we were really hoping to get full custody." Angela asks.

"And Manny should be able to receive some supervised visits with Joey." Mrs. Harper continued. "If Manny were to get stable housing and his finances in order, there could be something permanent."

At this I chimed in, "I believe you misunderstand. Can I bring Manny in. It's time for Joey's 10:22 snack. Would you like a beverage?"

"Manny is welcome to come in, but I am fine for a beverage."

Manny enters. After kissing Angela on the cheek, "Thank you my peach." Manny then interacts with Joey.

"As I was going to say, you misunderstand. While this is Angela's house, I am not her husband. Angela is Manny's fiancé. Manny lives here."

While the two Mrs. Smith's languished in jail, likely sentences of 2-5 years looming. Manny and Angela were awarded custody of Joey.

"So, Manny I have a couple of questions" I asked. "Why are you getting married? I thought the odds of you getting divorced were too high?"

"Since my impoverished state, the odds of getting a divorce went down significantly. Do you want to hear the exact numbers?"

"No. My last question is how did you know you were Joey's father. Weren't the odds so incredibly small?"

"True. But since it was the first day of school, there was a small chance he would know me as his father if I stood there."

"Wasn't that foolish considering the odds?"

"You are right Thomas, but you forget one thing."

"What's that?"

"That probability was only accurate 19 times out of 20."