Author's note: I thought when I wrote Love Gun, I had a unique and funny "I Love Lucy" style quick story. I found that my crappy writing made the story get lost. I have gone through and fixed it up a bit, adding dialogue (but keeping it short), and fixing capitalization errors.
There is still no sex, the ending is the same and I still don't develop any characters here. That would've defeated my goal of being quick.
I hope it's improved, enjoy.
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My wife and I went to our usual New Year's Eve party for a nice and casual night of relaxing. No hot and loud party for our group of 30 somethings. Been there done that. We are a group of 5 couples from the neighborhood that get together for barbecues, birthdays, summer holidays and other such occasions. The group is made up of me and my wife Sally, Ann and Jim Hart, Christine and Steve Mack, Jill and Dave Strzula, and Bob and Kelly Jackson.
This night as usual we were split up with the wives at the kitchen table and the husbands in the basement man cave waiting for the ball to drop. Our man conversation varied from bowl games to lawn care and we had no idea what the ladies talked about.
I went up to grab a bag of chips and heard the wives laughing. Being the naturally curious man that I am, I stopped on the stairs and listened for a bit.
Ann, the host wife was talking about her husband Jim's cock size. Talking is the wrong word. Gushing and bragging would be better. She said, "Girls I swear to you, he has 8 wonderful inches and hits me in spots no one has ever touched. It's absolutely incredible."
As the ladies were giggling like grade schoolers, Ann noticed my wife Sally was uncharacteristically quiet. She asked, "Sally, why so quiet over there?"
Sally said, "I just can't imagine what 8 inches would feel like. Al (me) is about 5 inches I think, but I never have a problem having a good orgasm. What would 8 inches do to me? Would it even fit all the way?" The girls laughed at that.
Now I should clarify that i am around 5 inches flaccid but harden to a little over 8 and pretty thick. So all I can do is internally chuckle at the silliness of my wife at this point. But I don't think she ever measured me. It's really pretty stupid on her part to think Ann was talking about a soft measurement.
Now all of the ladies start with the jokes at my expense as if I am only 5 inches hard. In hindsight I should have walked an and pulled it out right there but I'm not that type of guy. I know what I am packing and I am pretty secure in my manhood.
After about 5 minutes of the ribbing Ann asked my wife, "Sally do you want to try Jim's out and see what it does to you?"
All of the ladies gasped. Ann said, "Stop it girls. You know Jim and I swing sometimes. It's no big deal for us. Although, you know we don't try to bring you guys into our kink, Sally seems to need it."
At this point I made some noise and walked up the remaining steps and said, "What's up ladies?
Christine said, "Man on the floor, start talking about the kids." Everyone laughed and the topic was switched I noticed, I got some smirks from some of the ladies.
At this point it was close to midnight so the other men were called up to prepare for the midnight kiss and toast. We did the usual toast, kiss and wishes and that kitchen conversation was forgotten... for a while.
When we got home that night my wife was feeling the effects of her wine and was pretty frisky. I almost laughed when we were finished making love, where her world was sufficiently rocked with multiple orgasms, and she brought up my dick size.
She asked me, "Baby, when was the last time you measured your penis?"
I said, I have no idea, why?"
She actually asked, "Can I measure it?"
I laughed and said, "Sure hon."
After our nice bout of loving I was as limp as over cooked spaghetti. Nevertheless I made mistake number 2 and didn't tell her to get me hard first. I thought it would be funny to keep her stupidity going and let her measure me limp. It was predictable how might play out but I had full confidence in her fidelity.
She came back with a tape measure and I measured up to 4.75 inches. She actually frowned. I said, "There you go, not bad huh?"
She said, "No, I guess it's good. I don't really know and have nothing to compare it to."
"Then why were you curious," I asked.
"Oh, no reason. I saw a Cosmo article a while back and had just remembered."
"Okay, hon." I was still smiling on the inside and rolled over to sleep.
The next morning I woke up and she was already awake and on the phone with someone. While I was getting my coffee it didn't take too long to figure out who was on the line. Yep, Ann. I was still snickering as I walked in the basement and picked up the other phone as quietly as possible. Now that I was out of the room again the conversation went back to what they were discussing before I came in.
Ann said, "Sally, I'm serious. You haven't had your world rocked with that sized dick. You may cum, but I see stars when Jim is done with me."
She was really working my wife over to try out her husband and have a "real"orgasm.
"Sally," Ann said, "I've tried all sizes of dicks out through our swinging, and Jim just kills me with pleasure. There is no way that you have as good orgasm quality as I do."
"Ann, I have great orgasms. I always come from Al penetrating me. I can't see how it could be better, but I was a virgin when I met Al, so I suppose there's a chance I don't know what you're feeling."
I could not believe what my wife said next.
