Life and Death

I let my story begin twenty five years ago when I moved to the Midwest with my husband. He had been at sea pretty much constantly for most of our short married life. In the last six months he was in I lived with his parents. His father told me stories of how physical my husband got when he decided enough was enough. I had heard others tell the same thing while he was in the Navy.

My father in law started talking to me about how important it was to the family and myself that my husband be kept under control, and the best method was a stick and carrot.

If I promised my husband sex at a latter time if he behaved himself then that was the stick and carrot.

We eventually lost control when he had a brain surgery in 2001 right before 9/11. He then took notice of how he was being used by many and getting along came to a fast halt. So did the carrot and stick, he started to demand sex, but I guess that it had become so much of a habit that I kept trying. His father came to me pretty much on a weekly basis after my husband had told someone else that he was going to keep his shift, take the vacation he had applied for and the arguments and departmental transfers that put him back on the bottom anyhow. he would say he went down fighting for his rights.

It finally ended him up on the third shift, part of his duties included handing shippers out for taking scrap back for remelt. One night he refused to turn over a load because the people that came in to get 18000 pounds of metal. They did not have CDL or union cards, and the governor of our state sent a fax to the CEO of the company wanting the load, directing my husband to turn the load over, no questions asked. My husband could have cared less and refused the shippers and was asked to retire the next day after 31 years.

This was the final straw. I told him at that time there was not going to be any sex with me until he started doing as told. He yelled at me why should things change now. He became a true asshole after that. when I had an affair he did his best to hurt and embarrass me and my boyfriend. My husband victorious in the process, My boyfriend lost his wife, his job, and just about his life in the confrontation.

my husband just doesn't allow anyone to laugh at him in his own home. My husband is a very vindictive man. He tried to send me back to my mother, and she sent me back, I am truly scared to death of him now. He suffered a MRSA infection in his spine three years ago that left him crippled but has demonstrated that if the complications don't kill him he still is not going to allow any control, his father and family are scared to death that someone will humiliate him again but this time he will kill them.

He has been back in the hospital after a hole was opened in his heart by MRSA. He just about died and says he wishes he had, His own father says that it would have been for the best if he had died.

He worries that someone will do as my boyfriend did and kick his cane or feet out from under him and my husband will kill this time. I have asked the Board of Health to allow him to go west like he wants, I will go with him, where he plans to go is not a place that is within two hundred miles of even a small town, unless you fly.

His doctors don't think that it would be a good idea but he is scarring everyone in the family.

In the meantime I will be without sex and a judge has made it clear that I can be put in prison for abuse of an adult, after the doctor told the story to Family social services. The judge said that me and his father heaped years of abuse on a man that did not deserve it. After the house arrest is over I also have to care for my husband for at least three years or until he dies. This means, by the judges definition that, I must give up my will to my husband the same way he was coerced into taking care of me without any hope of any return. She says it is no wonder he wants to die.