Umbaya Part Two

It would not be a Kumbaya moment or even two, Part Two

Author's notes, These are my stories not to be copied or borrowed. Don't do it.

Many thanks for the help and editing by Ralph Mango!

The Central Market pizza was again improbably good, Katy and Teddy nitpicked about the crust not being as good as it used to be. I especially loved the Canadian bacon and pineapple and the jalapeno and bacon one. They ate everything else and stuck with the Ballad Bitter. I preferred the IPA anyway.

I started, "There is more news. Your loving mother left me with two STDs, Chlamydia and Non-Specific Urinary disease. I knew about this because she had to register for STD partners and somehow forgot that we were married. I have had it for years and I am beating treated. There is some scarring but I should be okay."

Teddy Jr. said, "Is it possible that this came from before mom and you were married?"

I felt myself blushing and I said, "I was a virgin when we got married. Sorry guys, I fail the cool guy scrutiny, too."

Katy scooted over to me and hugged me and said, "I love who you are Daddy."

Teddy Jr. said, "I'm sorry Dad."

I said, "TJ, don't apologize, it was a good question. I love you, Katy and Joe and Nick more than anything. There are things afoot; sorry I'm still a Holmes fan, but I expect to serve your mom with divorce papers as she steps off the plane at SEATAC. Mr. Big Dick and your mom bought a home on Bainbridge Island a month ago so, Katy, you were right about something going on. I will seek custody of Joe and Nick, of course.

Katy interrupted me, "Dad, I'm pretty sure Joe is not yours and I'm not sure about Nick but you need to check."

"It doesn't matter, I'm still their dad. Can you get some of their hair from your grandparents? It's like I'm listening to a Hallmark Channel Zombie porn flick. The next thing you'll tell me that your grandparents are swingers."

Katy and TJ looked at each other and she said, "Wellll, Grammy's been fucking this teacher from Poulsbo Middle school recently and before that she was with some of Mom's partners."

"That explains the phone call with her, " I said.

"If your grammy asks about this, just say we had pizza and watched 'True Grit' with Jeff Bridges. If she asks if I said anything about your mom, tell her I said, "I'm so lonely to be with her that I feel like my heart is breaking." Most of that is true. So, scoot."

I texted Lucious about the paternity of Joe and Nick and that Eli's mother was involved.

I boxed up all her clothes, shoes, found our wedding pictures and used an indelible sharpie and blacked out her picture, found our wedding license and cut that up and slid it inside the pictures.

As I was running the vacuum through the walk- in closet, I noticed that there was a bump under the rug. I tried to pull the rug back but it would not budge. I went out to the garage and found an old tool of my dad that had a wood handle and a curved blade, then sliced through the carpet and there was a raised plywood panel with a hook ring in the middle of it. [implausible in that one may conclude that with all her traveling, he had to have vacuumed the closet before. This is the first time he noticed th carpet in the closet???]

I went back to the kitchen and got a flashlight and trotted back to the closet and went to my knees and shined the light into the opening. There were picture albums and large zip lock bags full of pictures.

I pulled them out. There were twenty albums and thirty-two zip lock bags. I went to the garage with the albums and all but one of the bags and dropped them into the trunk of the Trooper.

I sat down at the kitchen table and opened the bag and the various pictures. The first pic was her fucking two black guys, one in her ass and the other in her cunt. I turned the picture over and there was written "bachelorette party". The next one her fucking a man and a woman and I knew. It was on our honeymoon cruise.

I didn't think I could be hurt more but that killed me. We had been exclusive for two years before we got engaged. I pulled out five more each of which was Eli with one of my friends after another. Great friends! The next was the priest at St. Olaf's in Poulsbo; actually the next ten or so were of him. I turned one over to look at the back and there was written ' I'm pregnant!' The date was twenty-two years ago so it was not Katy.

Abortion?

I put them all back into the zip lock bag. I called Mandy and asked if I could bring the mother lode of evidence. She said, "Is two o'clock okay?"

I said, "It's perfect."

I took my clothes off and went to the shower and scrubbed myself almost raw. I got out and looked in the mirror and my face looked gaunt and I needed a shave and my hair was getting pretty long. I stepped on a scale and I had lost fifteen pounds to one hundred seventy-seven pounds. I am six feet tall."

I put on an old pair of khaki pants, an oxford collar shirt and a round collared sweater. I had some old Reebok runners that I pulled on over some half socks.

I went to Central Market, went to the sandwich counter for a sandwich and I bought a sweetened Coca Cola, too, then drove to the Kingston ferry terminal to catch the Kingston Edmonds ferry. Having the sandwich and Coke on the ferry, I drove down to the old Columbia Tower and went up to the seventy-third floor.

I knew the receptionist, Traci Loar, and said, "I have a two o'clock with Mandy Flores and I need a cart to bring stuff up from my car."

She said, "Teddy? Is that you? Have you been sick?"

I said, "Hey, it's me. I've lost some weight, just running again."

She hugged me and said, "I'm so sorry, I'm Mandy's paralegal. " She released me and scurried over with a cart.

I went to where the Trooper was parked. I retraced the journey up the elevator and pulled into the lobby as Traci rushed over and said, "Follow me. " Once in the conference room, she helped me unload the albums.

She said, "Do you want some coffee or water?"

I nodded and said, "Both please, black."

Mandy came in and stared at me. She was wearing a pink top and black skirt and she had a pride necklace and arm band. She said, "Traci wasn't kidding! How much weight have you lost?"

I said, "Fifteen pounds."

"Why?"

"Maybe the antibiotics but I've been running at the high school, up to five miles a day, and I listen to music to help me clear the noise."

She said, "Don't tell my wife but I would switch sides for a night with you."

I laughed and she said, "That's better."

I said, "There are twenty albums of her fucking people and thirty-two zip lock bags with random pictures: a bachelorette party, our honeymoon cruise, all my friends when we were exclusive and engaged. I seriously doubt that any of the kids are mine. Maybe Katy. There's a picture in there of her fucking our old priest and on the back, it says 'I'm pregnant,' but it was four years before we had Katy. Maybe she had an abortion."

"Get some rest, eat better, keep running. Oh, by the way, Traci wants to fuck your brains out."

I raised my eyebrows; she was total smoke show with an ass and so much more. I cleared my throat and said, "Just to be on the safe side, let me finish my antibiotics and then she's on like Donkey Kong."

She burst out laughing and said, "I'll tell her."

I said, "Please do. She's a total smoke show; give her my numbers and stuff."

"You're serious, aren't you?"

"She's kind, funny, and if she wants more kids, I'm game on and healthy or will be in a few weeks. By the way, can Eli be charged with assault for the STDs and not telling me?"

Mandy said, "The Kitsap County Prosecutor has all the evidence and will be seeking an interview with you."

"Should you attend with me? I don't trust them at all."

"I will be there."

Over the next week, I Facetimed with Traci. She plunged a vibrating dildo in and out of her cunt, playing with her titties while I jerked off. We did that for hours. She taught me how to edge myself while she came over and over again. Then when I did come it was incredible; both the feeling and seeing Traci triggered into another orgasm.

The morning of Friday at six thirty, I Facetimed her and she woke up sleepy eyed and her little girl, Wendy, on her arm. She said, "What's up baby? You're stealing my beauty sleep."

I said, "As if, you're the most beautiful woman alive."

She said, "Awe, that's so sweet."

I said, "Traci, I am head over heels in love with you and want to spend the rest of my life taking care of you and Wendy and all the kids we'll have. I want to take you and Wendy ring shopping tomorrow if you feel the same way, of course."

Wendy was awake and Traci said, "Baby, Teddy wants to be your daddy and mommy's husband. Are you okay with that?"

Wendy said, "Mommy, you told me you were in love with him last night. I guess I love him, too. 'Course it'll be fun; can I go on the honeymoon?"

Traci said, "We'll figure that out honey; we're not sure when that will be."

I said, "How about you come over on the ferry tonight and spend the night? It will be totally safe and protected."

Traci smiled and said, "It sounds like a plan. Do they make them that big?"

Wendy said, "What's 'tected Mommy?"

"Honey, sometimes those really long popsicles I make, get half way down your throat, so we need to be careful. Teddy, I will call you with times okay? I love you, Babe."

I said, "I love you both."

Wendy squealed and Traci giggled.

Of course, the shit it the fan within hours and if shit splattering all over you could be good, it still stunk to high heaven. There were videos of Eli, in the Bahamas with multiple partners and genders including a very famous Brazilian shemale who was drop dead gorgeous and whose first name was Vanilla. She fucked Mr. Big Dick while Eli was with two women; that is to say Vanilla's giant dick was taking Mr. Big Dick's anal virginity and she got him off three times before she face fucked him.

When Eli passed out, Mr. Big Dick left and spent the night with Vanilla and literally fucked him for hours. She kept saying, "You want to be my bottom bitch, instead of that fat old whore?"

He said, "I am totally your bottom and am falling in love with you and want you forever."

I called Mandy and she picked up on the first ring and said, "Wow, I did not see that coming."

"Truly. Please put all of these out on porn sites. Send emails with this attached to every person in her email account. Send them to the teacher's union and the lobbyist firm, to the Washington Post, to the Kitsap County prosecutor, the New York Times, Facebook, and her parents, too. Make sure Mrs. Big Dick learns that her husband switched teams."

"Done."

I said, "Mandy please, it's me."

She chuckled. Then she said, "You have not watched it all, have you?"

I said, "My phone does not have vomit guard."

"Her mom is there; strictly lesbian stuff."

"Fuck! My kids are supposedly being watched by her. Just fucking destroy her too."

We hung up. I texted Katy and asked her if she could talk.

She called and said, "Hi Daddy, what's up?"

"Where is your grammy?"

She said, "She said she had to go visit a sick cousin. Why?"

"Who is watching the kids when you're not there?"

"Gramps is there, Daddy. He's okay; he doesn't talk to Grammy or mom."

"Do Joe and Nick know about Mr. Big Dick and mom?"

"Yes, they do."

"Do they think I'm the sensitive cuckold, too?"

"Yes."

"Can you bring everyone over tonight at nine o'clock and tell them and Gramps the truth on the way. I want you all to meet someone who is pretty special to me, okay?"

"Daddy, so soon?"

"I've known her for years and everything just clicked. She's kind and funny and a smoke show and she loves me."

End of it would not be a Kumbaya moment or even two, Part Two

Coming soon It would not be a Kumbaya moment or even two, Part Three

TJ, Katy, Joe, Nick and Gramps meet Traci. Eli's pregnant, who's the baby daddy, Mr. Big Dick is on the cover of Pink.