Arma

My thanks to Glenda Fiddich for support and editing.

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Now I had to accept most of the blame, but I knew I'd do it in painful silence. I'd be far too humiliated and ashamed to admit to anyone what I had caused. In addition, I'd have to live with the knowledge I'd betrayed the woman I loved.

As much as it sickened me, I felt like I'd literally given my loving wife to another man to fuck. I could never let her or anyone else know what I'd done. In all, it was a terrible guilt I'd have to live with.

What was harder still was the knowledge my best friend had fucked her; well ex-friend now. As much as I had to accept the blame for what had happened I still knew she wasn't completely faultless and should have tried a bit harder to stop him.

Somehow I had to find out if she really regretted what had happened and if she truly still loved me; I was sure she did. She was the woman I had loved for so many years and had planned to live my whole life with so I knew at that moment I'd never divorce her; I still loved her too much.

Now I was seething inside about what George had done and he needed to be taught an even more painful lesson. George had to know the reason he was being hurt if he was to learn not to touch other men's wives.

End of Part 1

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Part 2

I've known some husbands who would have thrown Julie to the kerb for what had happened if she'd been married to them but I had to forgive her. From what I could see and remember it didn't look to be all her fault but she had to accept some of the blame.....and the pain. I hated what she'd done but I didn't want to lose her; that's what love did to people.

It wasn't like Julie had planned it. We both loved each other still and besides I wasn't blameless either but up till then from what I could see, I think I may have been the only one who was suffering any pain; apart from shithead.

I didn't think I was over-reacting to what had happened but maybe I was being overly cautious. There was something I couldn't quite put my finger on that made me a little uncomfortable.

Don't get me wrong; there's nothing evil about whispering. It's just I always get uneasy when people around me do it; particularly when they stop when I get close enough to hear what's being said. Over the past few days Julie and Karen had done it a lot and I wish I'd waited a little longer before I'd disturbed them on Saturday night but I was sure it was just their girl talk.

When I thought about it, I recalled I'd found them whispering quite frequently over the past twelve months as they became closer; maybe I'd just chosen to ignore it before.

In my haste for advice I'd forgotten that one of the women who worked as an admin assistant for my lawyers played tennis with Julie occasionally. I'd never liked her and thought she was a nasty piece of work and I disliked Julie having any contact with her but I wasn't going to tell her who could be her friends.

What I hadn't anticipated was that as soon as the divorce papers passed over her desk on Tuesday afternoon she phoned Julie at home from her cell phone.

I was monitoring all of Julie's phone calls by this time waiting for the call from George that never came and I listened as she first asked, "Is everything okay between you and James?"

Julie replied. "Everything's great, why?"

Then her friend asked, "Did you know that James is having divorce papers prepared on the grounds of adultery and papers to sue someone named George?"

She added, "I haven't seen it but James has photographic evidence of whatever you've done."

What a bitch! To say Julie was instantly destroyed was a gross understatement as she could barely get a credible answer out while she glanced around the room for where the cameras were hidden. Julie knew they were there somewhere but she couldn't see them.

It was hard for me to watch what it did to her and as Julie steadied herself against the table where George had fucked her, I thought what she was experiencing now would equate to somewhere near what I'd felt when I first watched them fucking. She was now feeling the pain.

I thought she held up well until she hung up the phone and then dropped to the floor crying. She wasn't really there long but it seemed like she stayed on the floor crying for ages. I still loved her and I watched with sorrow while I tried to phone her but she just lay on the floor curled up weeping as she ignored the phone ringing.

I was about to leave work and go to her when I heard the kids getting home. Julie must have heard them as well and disappeared to the bathroom to have a shower while they made themselves a snack like they did every afternoon.

For only the second time ever I watched Julie in the shower as she must have been trying to scrub herself clean again and again as though she was still dirty from the sex with George then she shaved everything that needed it from the neck down.

She'd always refused to shave her pussy before but I think she was seriously feeling guilty and wanted to make it a special night for me to get back into my good books to stop the divorce. Well, the cat was out of the bag now.

My plans had to change and the unintentional pay-back was causing her even more pain than I could've ever imagined or really wanted. She joined the kids when she came out of the bathroom and she seemed okay as she talked with them then started on dinner.

I was still concerned about her and arrived home a little earlier than usual and my favourite, a roast dinner, was ready to be dished out. I didn't let on that I knew she'd heard about the divorce papers being prepared. She'd been told incorrectly what her fate held for her; it was only an option I had considered and already discounted but now she was feeling the hurt.

Julie was on egg shells all evening and barely said a word but I pretended not to notice. I still wanted her to admit what happened before I told her I wouldn't divorce her. I wanted her to take ownership of her actions.

After the dishes were stacked into the dishwasher I sat on the lounge watching television for a while hoping she'd sit next to me so that we could talk. Julie stayed in the kitchen and didn't come out so I disappeared into my study to "work" for a few hours while I watched the whole seduction again just to get it right in my mind.

As much as it sickened me having to watch it again I had some questions I needed answers for. It confirmed what I already knew and I was left in no doubt that Julie couldn't help herself after George followed my instructions. He'd deliberately got her tipsy then abused the information I'd shared with him. I still couldn't believe I'd helped set her up.

The drinking and the massage with the stroking would've been enough to allow her seduction, but on top of it all Julie was still on anti-depressants after miscarrying an unplanned baby the previous year. It had been one of the reasons we'd rented the holiday house at the beach. The combination of all three meant a dead certainty for George. I realized that Julie didn't stand a chance.

It only confirmed we were both guilty of something but my demons somehow convinced me that she could've stopped him and it should never have happened so the pain she was feeling was just. I'd already decided I wouldn't divorce her but George....well.... he was still toast.

For the rest of the evening I kept the door closed to my study and I kept an eye on the monitor. Julie finally left the kitchen and stood outside the study door for ages trying to decide whether to join me or not. I could see the look on her face and could tell she desperately wanted to talk to me.

Finally she obviously decided she couldn't and started crying again and turned and went to bed. From what I'd heard her say to George the night before, she was far too scared to discuss it with me. It seriously worried me that she was so afraid of me now or was she worried about the consequences of infidelity I had spoken of in the car on Saturday night knowing our divorce papers were ready to be served.

Julie looked to be asleep when I finally went to bed and I was only on the bed for a few minutes when I felt her soft hand ever so gently touch my shoulder. I don't think she planned it but as soon as she touched me she started crying again.

I rolled onto my side to look at her and she moved closer to me. Julie grabbed my arm tightly and started pleading, "Please James, I don't want a divorce! Please don't divorce me. I'm so sorry for what's happened and I hate him so much now for what he's done. I never wanted to have sex with him and I don't know how it began. James, I don't even know how it happened. Please, please forgive me for everything?"

Her pleas caught me by surprise and I wasn't sure how to answer even though she'd finally admitted it. I wiped the tears from her eyes for a few minutes as she continued to plead for my forgiveness.

Slowly she pulled herself towards me. I still loved her so much and my body had given me away; my cock was rock hard from my thinking about the smooth pussy available to me for the very first time.

She pushed me onto my back then reached down and held my cock vertically like she usually did if she was about to mount me and fuck me cow-girl style; our favourite position since she'd started wanting it that way recently. My cock was hard and waiting but it was harder for me still to just gently push her away.

She looked stunned; we'd never refused each other before unless we were really sick since the night of our wedding all those years before. I gazed into Julie's eyes and I saw a look of absolute fear I'd never seen before as she realized things could've seriously changed between us. Her plan to fuck her way back into my good books had suddenly been shattered.

While returning her gaze I just said, "I can't make love to you again until after you can prove that you haven't caught any STDs from him. It wouldn't help the kids any if we both caught something and either got really sick or even died would it? It's bad enough what you did, but you let him fuck you bareback and you could have any number of diseases now; even some untreatable."

I'd never mentioned it before to her and I'd never admit it to anyone else but I was scared shitless of catching an STD.......for some people it's spiders or snakes or even the dark but for me it was STDs. I could still remember the horror stories in the school yard from all those years ago about how they cured some forms of VD.

Her tears returned as she must have realized what she'd done had dire consequences ... to both of us. Maybe she couldn't halt him like my recording indicated and I doubted she even remembered asking him to stop, but I did. She just looked at me for a long time as she bit her bottom lip as her tears kept flowing.

I could see Julie was deep in thought and she took a big breath then between sobs she whispered ever so quietly I almost missed it, "I know you like Karen a lot; you two get on so well and she's really very beautiful. I want you to sleep with her so we're even. I know she likes you too so it won't be a problem.

I've seen her watching you and she loves to be near you whenever we're together. It's really obvious she wants to fuck you James. You have to fuck her; it's only fair because George has fucked me. I'll ask her if you want me too; I know she'll say yes straight away.

In fact I'm positive she'll jump at the chance. She talks about you all the time when we're together and even asks what it's like making love to you. You can fuck her as much as you like from now on if that's what it takes. I'll understand if you do. James, I just don't want to lose you. I'll do anything to keep you; even share you with her."

Her suggestion took me by surprise. I was too stunned to say anything as I realized she must have really loved me so much to have even suggested it. In my heart I didn't know how that would help as I knew it would just be a revenge fuck. It might be fun but in the end it would be meaningless and there was also the possibility of STDs again.

In any case, it could destroy my close friendship with Karen and I wondered how she'd react when she found out her loving husband had fucked her best friend. Besides, I wanted to stay faithful to my wife and importantly, I'd never cuckold another husband; not even a shithead like George.

I lay awake trying to decide if I should comfort her and let her know that I was also to blame or just let her cry herself to sleep. I was feeling so guilty and far too afraid to tell her I'd accidently betrayed her; too ashamed of what I'd done to my loving wife.

Sleep came quickly to Julie and I didn't remove her arm when she laid it across my chest and then rested her head on my shoulder. When I was sure she was in a deep sleep I pulled her over closer so she was hard up against me and somehow she snuggled in even closer. I heard her sigh and I held her tighter.

Julie was lucky; I was still awake next morning when the alarm clock went off. During the long hours I lay awake, I realized I had misdirected my wrath and hurt Julie more than I should have.

In any case, I knew I'd never accept her offer for a revenge fuck. It wouldn't help our marriage ... marriage was about loving my partner and forgiving her particularly when I was partly to blame. I looked at Julie and realised she was awake again and just looking at me; neither of us moved for quite some time as I softly stroked her cheek.

Julie visited our family doctor first thing Wednesday morning for a full range of tests for any STDs, although I didn't expect any to be found. She told our doctor she' d pay extra to get the results back faster but she'd have to still wait a week. She needed to show me that she had no STDs.

He questioned why she needed them so urgently. After Julie told him her reason for the tests and that I wasn't involved, he told her why she probably couldn't stop what happened to her. He told her it was most likely the result of the interaction of the particular anti-depressant she was taking and the wine she'd been drinking; it happened sometimes.

He didn't tell her that my being there Monday for the same tests now made sense to him. I didn't know at the time but Julie then discussed about lowering her medication with a view to going off it entirely as soon as possible.

Our doctor agreed it was good idea to try and reduce it completely over the next month to see how she coped. Going off the anti-depressants cold turkey created its own set of problems so she had to reduce them gradually.

I knew it was wrong and probably illegal but I checked the doctor's letter on George's medical file from his employment application. It explained the results of his blood tests and I saw he had no STD's or HIV unless he'd been out fucking about in the last month; and I doubted that as Karen usually kept a very tight rein on him at night and weekends.

By that reasoning, Julie should be clean after her seduction but she'd suffer from the pain of humiliation as she spoke to our doctor about being tested. It was something she'd never forget and besides, I still needed to be 100% sure.

The rest of the week went slowly as Julie broke down and cried at the drop of a hat. Even though I'd said nothing or spoken about her seduction again she could have still been half expecting to be served at any moment for what she'd done or perhaps she would have been really sorry it had happened.

I should've told her I still loved her and would never divorce her but I didn't; I suppose it was cruel but what she'd done to me still hurt so much and I wasn't sure why I wanted her to keep remembering her unplanned infidelity as long as I was feeling the pain. For some strange reason I now thought that was fair that she should wait until the test results were back.

Karen must have noticed a huge change in Julie during their phone calls and visited her every day after that trying to make her feel better. I was certain that Karen had no way of knowing she was probably making Julie feel much worse from the guilt of letting George fuck her.

Karen was full of excitement each day as she told Julie their plans to finally have more children as their financial situation had improved dramatically since my company had started using George as a full-time contractor. He'd only just started working for me exclusively during the past month.

I was surprised Julie said nothing to Karen about my having divorce papers prepared but if George was involved I could understand why. Maybe Julie thought it could all be resolved quietly without anyone knowing what had happened.

I could see that in her innocence Karen would have been twisting a knife further into Julie with every visit as she talked about how we'd all become such good and close, trusted friends over the years; there was even talk of making us god parents for the baby when it was born.

Karen even suggested another joint holiday away; maybe at a nice house together at a quiet beach somewhere; without the kids this time. She almost purred when she spoke about the endless massages they could both have every day this time and how she might finally get her full body massage from me. My dark side could not have scripted it better. Each night Julie still cried herself to sleep.

When we went to bed she'd lay awake looking at me with her big blue eyes. She'd tell me each night how sorry she was for what had happened and how she'd do anything to make it up to me. It was so hard but I didn't make love to her; but I did hold her and wipe away her tears.

I'd wait until she was asleep each night before I moved in even closer to her to feel her hot body against mine. As I spooned her each night my cock would stiffen and slide between her hot thighs.

It was torture not letting my cock slip into her waiting pussy. My phobia about STD's overruled my need to slide my hard cock into her; it was like it was calling to me every night.

I started to worry unnecessarily that he might have given her a STD and I thought about a Maori carving above the entrance to the Treaty House in Waitangi in New Zealand we had visited one year; it was of a naked woman who's pussy had sharp teeth and I wondered if they'd suffered from STDs there from early European contact.

I'd wake before her each morning and feel her stir as she snuggled in closer until she was hard up against me thinking I was still asleep but then she'd move away quietly just before the alarm was due to go off in the belief I didn't know she was doing it. It confirmed she still loved me.

Friday night had always been special to us. We usually had pizza delivered for the kids and the two of us always met up with friends. We'd all go out to eat at one of our favourite restaurants we'd discovered over the years.

This Friday night was different as the kids went out with their friends leaving us alone; they knew something was definitely wrong and didn't want to be around their mother crying again. Julie disappeared and showered and came downstairs looking like a million dollars in a stunning emerald green dress somehow expecting to go out as if everything was normal.

I was so tired and still hurting badly for what both of us had done so I just looked down and said, "We've nothing to celebrate this week and I don't feel like eating out, in fact I'm just so tired."

Maybe we should have gone out to help mend our pain but I saw no value in celebrating her infidelity and my stupidity. The look of total sadness on Julie's face said it all and she realized how hurt I was at what had happened. She held out her arms to me briefly then dropped them. I could see she wanted to run and hold me but was unsure how I'd react so she didn't ... and neither did I.