Joy always fidgets when she has something to say that she thinks I won't like. She was really fidgeting now.
"What is it, Babe," I asked.
"Well... er... um... I... I was asked out on a date today," she finally said.
"Did you accept?" I asked, neutrally.
"Of course I didn't accept! I told him that I am married and committed to my husband and my marriage," she said forcefully.
"I know you love me and are loyal and faithful to me and that you are committed to me and our marriage. That's not exactly what I was getting at." I assured her. She looked very puzzled, perhaps a little intrigued. I continued, "A man asked you on a date. You decided that you should not accept for the reasons you stated. You promptly told me about it." She nodded, looking askance. "That can be the end of it, but it need not be," I added.
Eyes wide, she looked at me, perhaps confused, perhaps shocked, perhaps intrigued. Then, she said, "Peter, what are you saying?"
"Only this: I've always known you were a truly beautiful, sweet, affectionate, playful, flirty, loveable, wonderful, passionate, amazing woman. I am proud of you and thankful for you. I know that other men find you very attractive and sexy." Joy started to speak, but I stopped her, then continued, "I am not at all surprised that somebody asked you out on a date. Nor am I at all offended. I'm only surprised it doesn't happen all the time!"
"Now just a minute! I didn't do anything to...." Joy objected.
"I know, but you are you, and men love that and are very attracted to you. Let me guess: was it Byron, that big customer you've mentioned several times, the one from Austin?" I asked.
"Yes! But how did you know that?! How could you know that?!" Joy demanded.
I calmly and matter-of-factly told her, "You've mentioned him several times, always with favorable comments. You've related various conversations with him and tidbits about him. You've told me jokes that he told you. You've described him as "a very interesting man," a "confident man," a "funny man," and as a "chick magnet."
Joy surged to respond, "I was just telling you how work had gone. And I never led him on!" she insisted.
"I know you were just telling me the events of the day, and, Honey, the fact that you are not one of the "groupie" chicks attracted to him, that you are a grown woman, an interesting, capable woman, was probably very attractive to him. He was already attracted; you didn't have to do anything except be yourself." I assured her.
"Oh, I like him, I'll not deny that, but I don't want you to think that I'd do more than a little casual, everyday, innocent flirting with him." Joy told him. "I do admit to doing perhaps more than my share of innocent flirting with him, and he has certainly flirted with me." Joy said, then kind of blushed like she'd been caught.
That's one reason I love her so much, she's so honest and transparent, without guile.
"Let me ask you this: if you were single, would you have gone out with him? Please, just be honest." I queried.
Joy looked shocked by the question. "But I AM married, happily married... what are you saying?!"
"Just what I said: if you were single, would you have gone out with him? Just be honest with yourself and with me." I persisted.
Joy appeared frustrated. She started to speak, but stopped. She looked at me, searching my face and eyes; all she saw was love--and interest. Finally, she said, "I don't know... I'm not sure... maybe I would... yes, probably I would," she concluded, seemingly surprising herself. "But I am NOT single!" she insisted.
"You would have gone out with him and you would have enjoyed it. You probably would want to be asked out again. He's attractive, confident, fun, engaging, exciting--why wouldn't you?" I told her. Joy nodded, slowly, realizing it was the truth. "But you would not accept the invitation today because you are married--ONLY because you are married. But a small part of you still wanted to say, "yes," though, isn't that true?"
Joy stared a moment, then hung her head and nodded almost imperceptibly, "But I didn't, and I wouldn't ever treat you that way!" she insisted.
"Consider this: if you had called and told me this, and and indicated that you wanted to accept, I would have insisted that you go and have a good time." I revealed.
Joy just stared at me at first, then with an incredulous look on her face as she said with great force, "No, you wouldn't! You wouldn't let me go on a date with another man, and I certainly wouldn't expect you to!"
"First, yes, I most certainly would have--IF you wanted to go. Second, I would have no objections to you having occasional dates with other men that you feel about like you do Byron: interested, intrigued, excited, noticed, attractive, desirable." Her expression told me I had hit all those feelings squarely on the head. "And that's the truth. You are such a good woman and a great wife. I value that--and you.
But maybe that does not mean what you seem to think it does. I have no doubt that you would enjoy a date with Byron, but I also know that you would not allow it to threaten or damage our marriage or your relationship with me. I know that. But it might be nice for you to occasionally step out of the routine and norm and enjoy a wider life. And I'd really like that for you." I concluded.
"Wow! That's a lot! A total shot out of left field! You don't really mean that, do you, Peter?" Joy asked sincerely, maybe a little worried what this meant or might mean.
"Yes, I do, Sweetheart. Let me prove it: do you have his cell number?" I asked. Joy nodded uncertainly, confirming my belief that she hadn't totally killed the idea of more than passing office flirting with Byron. "OK, here's what I want you to do: tell him you talked to your husband, and that I approved the date. Tell him you would like to meet him at a restaurant tonight, about 8:30. Tell him you'll call an Uber. I'll be your Uber, and I'll stand by while you eat. If he suggests going dancing, or if you want to do that or go anywhere else, I'll be your Uber. I'll stand by and be there if you need me. Then you should just relax, enjoy, and just let things happen as they happen, taking it anywhere you want to go."
"You're really serious?" Joy asked, seemingly a little intrigued by my plan. "You really want me to go?"
"Yes, I do!" I confirmed emphatically, "I want you to go and let yourself do what you really want to do."
"Peter... um... you do realize that some of these traveling businessmen often spend their spare time on the road... um, how shall I put it?... ah... um... 'chasing pussy' and bedding every willing woman they catch, don't you? I can't say that's what Byron does, but he IS in that class of businessmen." Joy pointed out.
"And what if he IS--chasing pussy--and trying to get you into bed, I mean? I'll bet your panties are wet right now, aren't they?" I asked. Joy's cheeks blushed furiously and she lowered her head, confirming he was correct. "What if he does try? You are in control of what you do and do not do. If he makes you horny and you come home to me without more than flirting with him, I get the benefit of the fire he started. If you decide to stay the night with him, but do not have sex, I get the benefit of your supercharged libido in the morning. And you get an exciting night with an exciting man."
Her astonishment caused a delay in her response, then she exploded, "Wait! Wait! Wait! Whoa!! Hold up right there! Who said anything about getting sexual or spending the night with him?! Not gonna happen, Babe!"
"Maybe nothing will happen. Maybe you won't enjoy your date. Maybe you'll want to come straight home. But maybe you'll want to go dancing, to go parking to neck and pet as they used to say, to go to his room. Maybe it will be so much fun that you'll want to prolong and expand your date overnight. I want you to have fun, enjoy yourself, and go with what you want tonight, just be safe. You have my permission to have sex with him if you want to." I told her.
Joy looked doubtful, then thoughtful, making no response for a long time, just looking hard at me. The fact that she thought so long assured me that she really wanted to go on the date, but she had to reconcile it with her upbringing and entrenched attitudes. Finally, Joy said, "O-K, but I really don't know about all this."
I said, "Honey! Just relax and be you. Enjoy yourself and go with how you feel, knowing that if you call it off in midstream, or if you spend a sex-filled night with him, if it's what YOU want to do, and you're enjoying yourself, it will make me happy either way."
"You're really sure?" she asked. I nodded. She still hesitated, and I smiled and nodded. "OK, here goes, Babe," Joy chuckled, beginning to dial Byron's number, "But I am not going to have sex with him--not tonight, anyway!" she grinned and winked. 'That's the spirit!' I thought.
"It's up to you, Honey. I'm good whatever your decision. If you feel uncomfortable with him alone, get out of it, but otherwise, if you're enjoying yourself, treat it like a night out with me--full of possibilities, including sex, if you want," I told her.
She called, accepted the date, said she'd get an Uber and meet him at the best restaurant in town. He asked if she could pick him up on the way. I nodded, and she agreed. Now I would get to see them interacting and flirting for awhile in the car. I decided to take the long way once I picked him up.
I didn't have to wait long once he got into the backseat with Joy. He kissed her long and hard, pulling back, saying, "I've wanted to do that since I kissed you in the supply room the last time I was in town!" Joy showed me a guilty look, but I just smiled and nodded, approving.
"Oh, you have, have you?" Joy teased. "Am I safe back here with you?"
"Utterly safe, my dear Joy! Despite my fervent desire to get to know you better and... ahem... see more of you, you have nothing to fear from me." he assured her. "Driver, take your time. Drive us around a bit since our reservation is not for another 30 minutes."