Jonny Wall

I work in a small office where we manage commercial real-estate. I have a total of over twenty-two million square feet of warehouse space and over a million square feet of office space. I stay away from retail; the turnover is too great and they require a lot of time and maintenance.

I just love Fridays, it's the slowest day of the week. I generally take the office people out to lunch, I have two women that do all the office work and the billing and one field assistant. To makes sure everyone is happy we rotate who get to decide where we have lunch, and this week we had deli. I ate so much I was stuffed and I ended up leaving the office early.

So the work week has finally ended and the weekend is here and I can take it easy.

My wife of ten years has a small business that helps people get organized. She has a home office but most of her work is done at her customers' location.

Walking in the house I saw my wife talking with a woman at the dining room table. Mia waved at me and motioned to me to come in. "Donna, this is my husband."

"You're Jonny Wall," she said.

"I have been for the past forty years." She reached into her case and pulled out some papers and handed them to me.

"Jonny Wall, you have been served."

"Thank you, and I hope the rest of your day goes as easy as this was," I said. The look on her face was priceless. Mia was even more surprised by my actions, I think. She must have thought I would overreact or do something evil.

I walked to the refrigerator and got a beer out, sitting down at the table to read the papers I was served with. Mia must have let Donna out and gone to the bedroom, since I was all alone and didn't hear her moving around.

After reading the papers, I got another beer and went into the living room and turned on the television. I knew that ESPN had a gold match on and I was wondering who was in the lead.

"Jonny, why are you just sitting there? I thought you would be all pissed off and ranting, but you're just sitting there watching TV."

"What do you want me to do, I've read the court filings, I cannot see anything wrong with your requests. I do wonder what you mean by mental cruelty. I have never done anything cruel to you. I never said anything when you had your affairs with the yard boy, or the pool cleaner, or Shawn from across the street."

"How. . . ., what makes you think I ever cheated on you?"

"Oh I have proof, both pictures, and audio tapes and even sworn statements from two of them. I also have photos of others, but I wasn't able to get their names since they seemed to be one day stands."

"If you thought I was cheating why didn't you leave me?"

"Oh that's simple, you're a great fuck and it would be easier and cheaper than dumping your sorry ass."

Mia just sat there; her mouth was open and not saying anything.

"In your filings you ask for all the cash in the bank, the house, the investment accounts."

"I think that is only fair," Mia said.

"Fine, I have objections to your request; however there just might not be as much money as you think there is. Since you don't want me as a husband anymore, I'll pack my things and move out tonight, as soon as I see the end of today's round of golf. "

I packed a few things and went over to my sister's place. I had called her earlier and she told me that I was more than welcome to move in and stay as long as I needed.

Saturday morning Sissy woke me and told me to come down for breakfast; after breakfast Sissy asked what was going on.

I told her how I came home and what happened, I also told her that it wasn't a surprise. I knew that she was fucking around for a long time, and I was just waiting to see how things worked out.

"Why wasn't it a surprise that she filed for a divorce?"

"Oh, that. Well, I have a few friends down at the courthouse, and one is a clerk and when Mia's attorney came in and filed the paperwork for the divorce, she gave me a call while they were doing it to give me a heads-up. I went to the bank and cleaned out the checking account except for fifty dollars. A couple of years ago when I first found out Mia was fucking around I closed out the investment accounts and made an investment that she had no idea of and structured it in a way that she couldn't ever get to it. I also lowered the credit limits on her credit cards to what she only used each month and they are at their max since I took cash withdrawals on them Friday. Also, a few years ago I did a quitclaim title change on the house, it's now listed as being owned by a corporation that owns the company I work for. That makes us renters, not home owners."

"You are one sneaky bastard, and I'm so glad you're my brother," Sissy said.

"Ah, gee, thanks Sis." The rest of the weekend was hiding out from Mia, she had no idea where I was staying and Sissy had told her that all she knew was I had gone out of town.

On Monday I called my attorney and asked him how things were going after my call to him on Friday. He told me that everything was in the works and that Mia would be served with a notice of eviction before noon, and they would also serve her the restraining order at the same time. And notices of financial independence of her bills would be published today. And he had filed a notice of request for an early hearing. I thanked him and said I'd make a credit on his rent to cover his billings.

I told the ladies in the office that I was not to have my wife's calls forwarded to me, they were to be forwarded to my attorney's office.

Just after lunch Jason came in and said that Mia was parked in the parking lot in the back. I thanked him and I called the police to tell them that my wife was in violation of a non-contact restraining order and that she was prone to carry a weapon. I was looking out the back window and within ten minutes there were three police cars in the parking lot and they had Mia out of her car and spread over the hood of one of the police cars. A woman officer was frisking her. Another one was going through her purse. And the third was going through the car. Well, the third officer found Mia's gun right where I put it.

A year ago when things really started to get out of hand with Mia I bought a gun and that was the gun they found.

When we were first married Mia got into some trouble with drugs and was convicted for sales and got suspended time, but it gave her a felony conviction. Now she was going to be charged with violating the non-contact order and a charge of a felon in possession of a firearm.

Three weeks later I was given my divorce. The next week Mia was convicted and given three years.

When she was finally moved to prison I wrote her a letter, it was a very short and to the point.

Dear Mia:

I hope you are adjusting to your new home. I don't know if you'll get a job while you are in there. I would like to help make it as easy as possible so I'll send you money each month so you can get things from the canteen. But I do hope you have learned one thing, and that is, NEVER TRY TO FUCK someone that is a lot smarter than you are.

Jonny Wall