After my disheartening discovery, I was at a loss while I was dealing with two problems. The first was the dismay I felt over Davidâs broken confidence. With my feelings oscillating between hurt and anger, my first temptation was to confront him directly about it but whenever I reached the point that I was ready to approach him, a voice in the back of my mind told me to back off, that I wasnât ready yet. I knew that if I were to ever open up that door I would have to deal with the unknown consequences, and I wasnât sure enough of myself at the time to want to deal with it. At this point, I had to assume that it was nothing more than a passing erotic experiment that David was going through. I knew that guys did that at times, even if they were perfectly happy and satisfied with their home life. What I didnât understand, though, was the obvious sharing with Mr. Lin. Was David getting anything in return? Or worse still, had this somehow become a requirement of employment and David just unwillingly protecting his job?
The other problem I had to deal with was strictly internal. For all my anguish, for all my loathing at David and the situation, through all my unsettling questions, there was a Phoenix rising from the fire. And it came in the form of a very hot, constantly wet pussy with an insatiable appetite that couldnât seem to be quelled. After those initial viewings of the videos I was disgusted, both with the videos and my ensuing orgasms in reaction to them. How deep into deprivation could a normal, well-behaved wife sink?
When I first put them back on the shelf where I had found them, I shuddered with the very thought that the nasty things were even in my house. For the rest of the day and in to the night, I refused to even walk in his closet. But through the night, those visions of myself on that screen started to drift through my mind; slowly, very defined, in stereo and in living color. My feelings of betrayal and disgust were strong, causing me to toss and turn while David was in his deep sleep. Itâs not like the old thoughts just disappeared, but there was a point in the early morning where somehow they slowly departed from the state of anguish. Instead, my mind drifted to some very short scenes from the videos. They way I looked at certain times, the way I sounded, the way I reacted to certain situations. Small erotic visions started crossing my mind, replacing those of pain. Those little visions started converting to tiny tingling sensations, first in my mind, then on down as my fingers lightly traced down to my nipples and stomach.
Eventually, my fingers were between my legs. Warm, slightly wet, my touch down there was as gentle and drifting as my thoughts. As my memory grew more avid my breathing increased slightly, causing my chest to heave a little and my hands to apply a little more pressure and speed. I finally settled in on the scene when I was telling David about the party. At the time I told him the story, I had found it to be exceptionally erotic and thought that I was getting back at him a little by letting him know I had given myself to the touch of others. Looking back at it brought on stimulating thoughts that were more than enough to bring me over, moaning softly so as not to wake him. I straightened out my legs as hard as I could to absorb the energy instead of tossing about, as I would normally do. It was almost painful trying to contain myself, and when I finally released the tension my body dropped to the bed in an exhausted lump. Lying there with my hands continuing to slowly caress a still sensitive nub, my mind reverted back to that of disgust and shame. It didnât stop me from the soft manipulation, though, and I very slowly and softly brought my exhausted body back to life again. This time I was lying on my stomach and riding my hands in a small humping motion as I came, fingers from one hand manipulating my clit as the other hand provided penetration. It was awkward, but very effective as it led me into a deep sleep. When I awoke, my slightly crusted hands were still between my legs.
After that, I was driven time after time to watch the tapes. No matter how much I promised myself that I wouldnât, the urge would overcome the promise and I would find myself back there in his closet on a chair, carefully removing and replacing them in an exact way. Working around the baby, I found myself in front of that screen, sometimes for hours each day. At times my fingers betrayed me and only left me on fire, so I opted for my new toy. That vibrator started getting a workout that Iâm sure was much more than the manufacturer intended. I watched them so often that I not only started memorizing the different episodes, but mentally started putting them in categories and rating them as far as my enjoyment. Even though the two top ones were when I was telling David about the party and the scene under the Christmas tree on Christmas Eve, what never ceased to amaze and excite me were facial close-ups of me coming. Although it was always with the little blindfold on, the excruciating look on my face during orgasms and the sounds pouring from my distorted mouth was just unbelievable to me, never failing to moisten me to the point I thought I could actually feel the wetness seeping out.
I let David continue to tape me. Not to do so would give me away, I thought, and try as I might to deny it; I had to admit I was starting to enjoy it. I made a great effort to not pose for him or do anything artificial, but I became less subdued in front of him and just let things start to flow much more naturally. Not only did I start to have much more intensive orgasms while it was happening, but I started to enjoy the tapes even more as I opened up to the situation. Though my basic state of mind was anger and concern that he was sharing them with somebody else, I will have to admit that at times I would allow my concern to be pushed aside and found a level of eroticism when I closed my eyes and tried to feature Mr. Lin in a dark room by himself enjoying me.
As far as Davidâs job was concerned, I got a little insight that there was more to things than I was told. One of the couples at work was having an anniversary party to which we were invited. Just as we got there, David hesitated before we got out of the car.
âListen. Donât make mention to anybody about this possible business deal with Mr. Lin. Iâm not too sure who knows what and I certainly donât want to be the one responsible for a leak.â
That was fine with me. It was a lovely little get together and of course, as is always the case, conversation turned to business. I would just listen and nod my head, but took note not so much of what I was hearing but more what I wasnât hearing.
When we left, I looked at David for a while and then spoke.
âNobody knows about this deal with Mr. Lin, do they?â
He had a little bit of a strange look on his face as if he had been caught at something.
âNo, not really. I think that besides me only Danny, Marty and the comptroller know about it. This is really big, one way or the other.â
Looking out the car window, I nodded. But I couldnât help but wonder, even if he is the representative for that account, why would David be included in such a high level hush-hush situation? There were others much more senior to him and company officers that should have been a part of it. What gives with Davidâs new status? Deep down, I think I knew the answer. It didnât take long to verify it.
The following week David came home all excited to the point of being breathless. He burst through the door like a kid that had just scored a home run at school.
âSyndee, youâre not going to believe whatâs happened. Things like this just donât happen to people like us!â
I braced myself for the bad news. Heâd lost his job.
âWhat happened?â
âYou and I have been invited to go to Singapore! Danny and Marty are going, and Mr. Lin asked us to come along. All expenses paid! I canât believe it.â
If he were looking for a shock effect, he got it!! This couldnât be right!
When my mouth got to the point that it wasnât just hanging open, I finally spoke.
âWhy in the world were WE invited? And I canât just go over there at the drop of a hat! Iâve got a baby to take care of.â
âOh, you know your Mom will take care of him. Weâll only be gone a week and when will we ever get this chance again?â
âSingapore. Donât they have serious problems with terrorist and uprisings of some sort over there?â
âYouâre just making excuses. Where are our passports? Mr. Linâs stateside attorney is taking care of the visas. By the way, weâre having dinner with him tomorrow night.â
âJust the two of us. Whatever for?â
âOh, no. Danny and Marty will be there. There will some business discussed, I suppose, but Iâm sure not much. I think itâs all casual.â
Having many misgivings about all of this, I went along with him far enough to go to the dinner. It went well enough, just chatter. Although this guy, Mr. Tong, was very nice, he was Chinese and from San Francisco and you could tell he was all business at heart.
âSo, are you looking forward to your trip?â It was pretty late into dinner before he really spoke directly to me.
âActually, Iâm not sure Iâm going.â You could have heard a pin drop.
âOh, why not?â He was very nice about it.
âWell, I have a child for one thing, and Iâm not looking forward to such a long flight.â
I realized that the other three had gone totally silent.
Finally, Danny spoke. âWow, I though you would jump at the chance, Syndee.â