Iruts

As I sit here beside my lovely wife Chris in our cottage in the mountains overlooking Lake Jindabyne, I reflect on the few weeks, the accident of being in the wrong place at the right time, that transformed my life, my wife's life, so many lives.

The turbulent, passionate times that I should have had in my early years had been eclipsed by the brief, intense period I had instead experienced late in my fifties. It is hard to imagine how such events could have turned me along the path to the peace of both mind and body that I now enjoy.

I remember the days after we had all embarked in Brisbane with a vague plan in my head and the faith my Ladies had had in me. A faith which had worried me: was their faith misplaced?

With no assurance other than my plan, my Ladies had bought land adjoining Kosciuszko National Park at what I thought was an outlandish cost. A much larger tract of land in north Queensland had cost much less. We had called the former Baikal to celebrate its cool climate and the existence of a lake. The latter had become known as Siberia for its remoteness despite its tropical climate, and the name eventually stuck.

We developed Baikal first, building a dormitory and gymnasium to suit fifty athletes. We lived in that dormitory for some months, forty four athletes and one old man who was making progress towards some degree of fitness. My lungs struggled with the altitude, but I had had plenty of support and encouragement.

While living in the dormitory, we built individual units for up to thirty of us at each location, and then Chris and I had taken half the Ladies to Siberia to develop similar facilities there.

That flurry of building in the first year after arriving in Australia had used up nearly all of our combined resources, and it wasn't long before the media took an interest in all this activity. It had been Slava's idea to tell them nothing at all, to stimulate such interest. And her idea worked: we were constantly asked what we were up to.

Once Baikal was complete and some of us were now living in individual accommodation and others had moved to Siberia, we took on our first customer. Despite the Ladies' specialties in other sports, we started with an Australian Rules Football player. Yulia took an interest in a player showing promise in grade football in Eden, a coastal town nearby. Ben clearly had great talent and commitment, but Yulia could see faults in his technique. I wasn't sure how she could know such detail of a sport she had never been involved with - her total experience had been to watch a demonstration match while in Australia for the Olympics - but the Ladies all had complete faith in her judgement, and so did I.

We invited him up to Baikal with his parents for two weeks and the Ladies all worked together to see where improvements could be made. His parents also got some attention, more to show them what we were doing with Ben than to develop their own abilities. However, the mother Beth was a social tennis player and we decided some progress could be made with that.

We maintained an exercise routine for the family to keep their fitness levels, but that wasn't the main focus. Yulia wanted to work with Ben on his awareness of what was happening around him and spent endless hours sitting in a corner with him, walking around him, waving her arms around. She seemed to have a definite idea where she was going with this.

Ben played in a trial match at the end of the two weeks. We all went to watch, making up nearly half the crowd. He wasn't named as best on ground, but his team coach Ron wanted to speak to us afterwards. He told Chris that he had noticed that Ben had developed a feel for what was about to happen and had several times been standing apart from a group of players going for a mark and had, apparently by mere luck, been standing exactly where the ball came out. The 'luck' theory did not appeal to Ron who thought there was more than coincidence at play.

Chris directed him to Yulia who explained that she had noticed a problem in this area and had decided to focus on it.

"When did you see him play?" Ron wanted to know from her. "I haven't seen you at any games before. I would have noticed you."

"I saw the football broadcast on the local channel."

"But they only showed the last quarter of a game six months ago, and Ben was off the field for half of that."

"Yes."

"And you could see exactly what was wrong and how to remedy it?"

"I had an idea and it may have helped."

Ron looked at her. "Hmmm."

This had been a case of dipping the toe in the water, but as it happened Ben was selected by one of the AFL teams early in the draft the following week despite having been ranked very low. The media interest now had a link between our community (which had been such a mystery to them) and something they understood - the Australian Football League, or AFL.

The articles which had previously been along the lines of "What are these people planning?" suddenly focussed on Ben's elevation. A picture taken at the trial match made it to the front page of several major newspapers.

While we were back focussing on development at Siberia another AFL team took an interest. The coach of one of the major teams paid us a visit in person, asking if we would look at one of his players. We got Slava to talk to him. She had noticed Peter, who was in the latter part of his career, and wondered if his repeated injuries were the result of a fault in his technique. She certainly impressed the coach by her knowledge of a player he was enquiring about with us for the first time.

Slava invited the coach to send Peter and a friend up for a week. We were surprised when he turned up with a lovely young lady. When Slava had extended the invitation to a friend, she had expected him to bring a man, perhaps a team mate, but certainly not a girlfriend.

As it happened, Peter saw very little of Joanne that week. Tina found out she was a dancer and took her under her wing. By the end of the week Slava and Tina felt that both had made noticeable improvements. As far as Peter was concerned he made it through the following season playing every game, while Joanne won a supporting role in a musical. Peter's coach was delighted and impressed and our reputation was developing. The media was becoming annoying and although we were not yet ready to announce our plan, we had few secrets from the choppers flying overhead watching whatever we did outdoors.

By the time Siberia was ready for business we had a ridiculous range of enquiries from potential trainees. One of the builders must have passed on my email address and I had to change the settings on my spam software early on to try to filter out the enquiries. Many seemed to me to be from older men who were more interested in the lovely Ladies than on improving their sporting performances. Not that I could criticise them bearing in mind my own history with them.

Chris knew what she was doing: she invited selected journalists to attend the opening of Siberia. Nearly all of them accepted and we had quite a crowd for her press conference. To the constant glare of flashes and TV lights she took them all on a tour and then stood before us all and told them of her plan. Two sites, one to develop heat tolerance, the other for altitude training, both with airstrips and a light plane to move from one to the other. Experienced Olympic athletes from a huge range of codes working intensively for short periods focussing on specific areas of improvement.

They already knew about the progress of Ben, Peter and Joanne, and wanted to know which sports we would be dealing with.

Chris surprised even me with her answer, "Whatever is needed, we can work with. And not just sport - we can develop people to improve their resistance to workplace injuries."

"What sort of workplace injuries?"

"Everything."

"Just physical injuries?"

"No, we can help someone develop their emotional strength including resistance to bullying, sledging etc. That is a big part of sporting performance, and mental ability can be developed in the same way as physical ability." That set them thinking.

We had chartered aircraft to fly them back to Baikal and show them around there too. I think Chris was responsible for the decision to take them all up to the top corner of our property. They were all out of breath (as was I) by the time they got there, partly because of the climb, but also partly because of the altitude. My Ladies, of course, were cool and calm. Another reason for taking them there was to enjoy the view over the lake (Jindabyne, not Baikal).

The opening/conference closed there, and Chris arranged for them to be flown back to their own cities, or to Siberia where some had left cars. Not, however, before she asked them all to spread the word that the Brigade was open for business.

The media did us proud, making all Australia - all the world - aware that we were there to improve sporting and other performance. We were a little disappointed that the coverage of the ladies' own sporting performances took precedence over what we could do for future athletes, but even that added to the prestige of the Brigade.

And the business took off from there. Within a month we were turning away applicants including three AFL clubs, one of which wanted sole use of the facilities. Ben, Peter and Joanne were the only three to get free access to our training, and soon we were steadily recouping what had seemed to me to be a huge and risky investment.

Some major employers took an interest in Chris's comments about bullying, and we took on a few individuals to show what we could do. The entire Brigade met to discuss this aspect of the business. Clearly we couldn't train Australia's entire workforce, and Astra suggested we develop one course to train people who would assist bullying victims, a second to deal with the more traumatised victims and (controversially) a third in which the bullies could be trained in communication and assertiveness.

After this line of business took off we added further accommodation at both sites for bullying training: at Baikal for the first two course types, and at Siberia for the third.

Watching a football match on TV one day I noticed the camera zoom in on the ear lobe of one of the players we had helped, and I saw a smaller version of the tattoo I myself bore with pride on my forehead. The symbol of a circle with a cross beneath it, originally depicting the mirror of Venus and now generally taken to depict the female gender, but with a crescent instead of a full circle. On the earlobe it was about a centimetre across. Soon they all had the tattoo, and before long the standard response by them to sledging etc was to turn that earlobe towards the person trying to taunt. It seemed to work, and not long afterwards my own tattoo was a point of interest again.

As I look back on the second phase of my Ladies Brigade life, I take pride in the efficiency and the effectiveness of my Ladies' handling of the process in an unfamiliar country. I helped here and there, mainly with Neanderthals who seemed unable to cope with females. I also provided a little legal advice here and there.

In no time we had two sites up and running, facilities built and ready, and operating at full capacity. I wondered if I might be doomed to play the "before" part in adverts showing how this team could make a silk purse out of a sow's ear, or perhaps a warning about where someone might end up if they didn't seek help from the Brigade. And that was after my Ladies had wrought a dramatic improvement in my physical condition. But no, it always seemed that I had a useful role to play.

I sat in the background and watched as Baikal and Siberia became fully operative, and then as the bullying courses also started to become fully booked on a regular basis. And it was at this stage that I decided another change was necessary. I called a meeting of all my Ladies, bringing them down from Siberia so all could be there in person.

"I love you all, and will continue to do so. I have watched you with pride as you use your unique abilities to the benefit of Australian sport. And now I watch with pleasure as you start to reap the benefits of your work in the last few months, and your achievements before that. You can now enjoy the respect you deserve. And take your proper place in Australian society. In Russia I indicated my concern that forty four of the most wonderful ladies imaginable were restricting themselves to a just one forty-fourth share in just one man. You told me that you were completely happy with this and that you saw no possibility you would want to change.

"However, your success has brought you to a very different situation. You now have an alternative which I urge you to consider. You have a very real opportunity to find your own relationships with men of your own age, men more able to share with you the life you can now have."

I reached next to me to take Chris's hand. "Except Chris. She is my wife and I am selfish enough to want to keep her. But forty-three of you owe it to yourselves and your adopted nation to mix with its population in every respect. I would like you to continue to work here with me, but any or all of you should open yourselves to new relationships. Chris and I will share our relationship with any of you who wish to be part of our marriage..." I squeezed Chris's hand again, knowing I was saying what she, too, wanted but still frightened that I was wrong. "...but we both want you to have a fuller life than we can provide."

I finished my speech and looked around.

Silence. Blank looks. Now I was terrified. Had I alienated those I loved most? Perhaps even Chris?

Eventually Hana stood up. She looked direct at me. "You take Chris outside and go for a walk. Don't go far. Someone will come out and call you in a while."

Out we went. I spent several minutes crying on Chris's shoulder. She just held me tight, saying nothing. Despite her silence I felt somewhat comforted.

And then Hana called and we returned to the room. She led us to the middle of the room, stepped back and spoke to us all.

"Thank you Michael. What I am about to say is for all forty- ...er... three of us." She looked nervously at Chris. "We have discussed and agreed on what I am about to say. You gave us self-esteem when we had none, even though we kidnapped you."

Someone interrupted, "More than once." There was a ripple of laughter.

Hana continued. "I don't know how you did it, but you made each of us feel as if we were the most important lady for you. That is a special talent. You saved us from internal dissent and from outside interference. We all gave ourselves to you completely because we loved you: you were the most wonderful thing we could possibly imagine. Then you gave us a new home, a real home. You set us up here. And now you offer us the freedom to take a full part in that new life.

"You are married to Chris, and although we all agreed that was intended simply as a convenient means by which we could all be married together, we all agree that you and Chris should have the freedom to focus solely on each other.

"We would have fulfilled our lifetime commitment to you, and we know you would have fulfilled yours to us, but we accept your offer. We are now your devoted employees, but not your wives. We will enter completely into the life of our adopted nation. We will be available to consider partners here. Except..." She looked at the volleyballers. "...for those who already have them."

Hana looked a little embarrassed. "And I can tell you that a wonderful man has indicated his interest in me. I was about to tell him that I was already spoken for and would have been very happy with that, but instead now I am going to give this potential relationship a chance. And some others of us have been receiving expressions of interest."

Hana looked around at one or two ladies whom I guessed to have been the recipients of these "expressions of interest". Yulia was blushing bright red.

Then one by one my ladies came and hugged me, then Chris, and wished us well.

And so began the third phase of my life in the Ladies Brigade.

...

For nearly ten years now Chris and I have been married only to each other. Over the year that followed the events described above the shared sexual component of our group relationship gradually ended. It would have been difficult to explain to boyfriends! Indeed Hana and one or two others had a few experiences that necessitated careful explaining.

There has not been one single moment when I have felt that any or all of the others, or anyone else in the world could have been a better wife for me, and I have worked hard to be the best husband possible for Chris. What we do have is an intimacy with forty-three other wonderful ladies, wonderful contributors to our shared vocation as both Baikal and Siberia continue to move from strength to strength. That relationship now includes many husbands and partners. Not all of the ladies are in relationships, but either way they are all happy with their status. I know, because I know them as they know themselves.

Our expertise remains in high demand, and we have refused offers from most of the AFL teams and many other elite sports teams to take over their fitness and tactical training. However, we are fully occupied in the way that we are, and it would seem unfair to choose just one or two teams.

Chris and I still retain the link that enables us to understand each other, and that has sometimes been frustrating and confusing for those who catch one or other of us apart from the other, and who try to get that one to make a decision without the other. That just never works.

As we approach old age together, we are a loving couple looking back on years of happy marriage. I sometimes smile to myself at memories of sexual marathons bringing physical pleasure beyond anything my imagination could have conjured up. But then Chris touches my brand and she is suddenly the only lady I have ever loved. The only lady I could possible imagine making love with. Her birth certificate says she is over sixty, but she still looks to me to be in her mid-30s. I could not want anyone else.

My ladies still speak sometimes of what I did for them. I have tried many times, but I never seem to be able to explain what they did for me. What they are still doing for me.

I sometimes lie awake worrying about what my life might have been if I had not gone to that old building showing a dim light on that fateful night.