In the Sweet Bi and Bi

It all started with an ad. I had just passed my fortieth birthday, was still not married but had enjoyed the company of many interesting and attractive women over the years and had a level of income sufficient to more than meet all my material and intellectual needs. I had not been with a woman for about six months which I had learned was a normal part of the on-again-off-again rhythm of single life. This time, however, I found myself thinking more and more about what I wanted in a relationship.

For the last few years there had been a vague but deep dissatisfaction at the centre of each relationship that was the measure of a need in me that wasn't being met. There was clearly a connection between this lack of satisfaction in my relationships with woman and a feeling that had been growing in me through most of my thirties and was only becoming stronger. It had started with the recognition that I responded with fear and fascination to any story of homosexuality in the news. After I had finished reading or hearing the story, it would reverberate in my mind for days. I even found myself fantasizing about being with naked men; not sexually engaged but just standing in their presence.

As the years went by I found myself fantasizing about erect cocks and finally about sucking them. I wanted to incorporate these fantasies into my sex play with my female lovers but usually felt inhibited from mentioning it. When I did venture to say something about it in the excitement of the moment, the women usually just let it pass without comment and it never came up again. One woman who herself enjoyed anal intercourse used to finger my anus on these occasions but never tried to develop this theme for which she obviously felt nothing.

The failure to connect on this increasingly important matter was leaving a silence at the centre of every relationship. I desperately wanted to find a woman who understood my need and catered to it by playing to my fantasies even if she wasn't interested in helping me work it out in reality. This was when I realized that the hit-and-miss process of meeting datable women by chance at parties was perhaps never going to provide the woman I needed. The answer clearly was to find some screening method whereby I could be put in contact with women who already understood my situation.

This was when I decided to try an online dating service, a telephone service where people could advertise anonymously in numbered voice-mail boxes for whatever they wanted. My advertisement read as follows:

"Forty-year-old man seeks university-educated WASP woman of about the same age who hates camping, is allergic to animals, doesn't smoke, hates to cook, loves to eat, is a couch potato except for basic-maintenance workouts, is well-read and widely travelled, has dark hair, stands 5'7" or so, weighs 135-140 pounds, is vain about her legs and C-cup and is bisexual or at least bi-curious. As for me, I am 6' tall, 170 pounds, work out regularly, own a graduate degree, have all my hair except on my face, enjoy my work and have a strong bisexual inclination that needs some understanding and attention by a similarly inclined and attractive woman. No vegetarians, New Agers or astrologers need apply."

At first there was a number of obviously unsuitable replies from women who tried to explain that education wasn't everything or that I was missing out on golden opportunities among shorter heavier women (a lot heavier in some cases!). It wasn't until the ad had been running for about two weeks that the reply that changed my life arrived. She started off by saying her name was Anne, that she loved my voice, had heard my ad just before leaving for a couple of weeks vacation and hadn't been able to get it out of her mind all the time she was away. She thought she met most of my criteria and was especially sympathetic to my need for someone who understood my bisexual side as she had the same need.

Getting to Know Ms. Right

I left my number in her box and she called the next night. We had an immediate rapport and talked for almost four hours before setting up a date to meet for dinner. She had a degree in English, was certainly well spoken, had a good job with a public relations firm yet, like myself, had never found that perfect bisexual balance that allowed her to feel sexually whole. She was thirty-eight, had been married once for about five years, had no children and had been divorced for the last seven years. She had had the usual longer and shorter heterosexual relationships before and after her marriage. She had also recently had one, first, brief, physical relationship for about eight months with a bisexual woman friend she had met at her athletic club but it had ended when the woman was transferred to Vancouver.

She was very understanding of my bisexuality since she had had the same problems herself. She had certainly enjoyed her times with her bisexual friend but, like me, had come to realize that she was predominantly heterosexual with a strong bisexual streak and not fully homosexual. The presence of a man, she felt, would be essential to the fullest enjoyment of another woman's body and she was bisexual enough to want to have that complete experience. Her fantasies, also like mine, always included both men and women.

I talked to her with all the freedom and frankness that had been lacking in my other relationships. I articulated thoughts I didn't even know I had and found her carrying the discussion forward in a wonderfully matter-of-fact manner as if this were the most natural conversation in the world. The whole four hours was a catharsis for both of us. At one point she mischievously observed that it was "morally wrong" that she had already enjoyed a woman however imperfectly while I hadn't had the same pleasure with a man. I told her I was green with envy and felt totally deprived and said she would be responsible for seeing this never happened again. She crossed her heart and swore to find a man for me "even if it's someone I might have to share with you." My cock stiffened instantly as I told her that would be just fine with me since one of my favourite fantasies was that my lover be unfaithful to me with another man right before my eyes. She assured me this could be arranged because she was slightly dominant and needed someone whom she could abuse with her self-indulgences. I told her I was very hard; she said she was dripping.

Her marriage had started as a sexual obsession that deteriorated into quarreling about money and male ego as her career and earnings moved ahead of her husband's. They parted with a simple division of property and the recognition they had made a mistake. The couple of relationships since had lasted less time than the chaste pauses in between. It was in one of these pauses she had started the relationship with the bisexual woman. Her epiphany came when she began a new male relationship while continuing to meet her girlfriend. She realized how much she would like to experience both at the same time as each by itself felt incomplete. Unfortunately, as she said, nothing ever quite works out: her girlfriend had moved to Vancouver before she had time to bring up the subject of a threesome with either partner. It was also at that time that she began to fantasize about seeing two men together, a desire she hadn't had the courage to mention to her obviously straight boyfriend. That was when she began listening to the online dating service. The woman friend had moved to Vancouver and the man had stopped calling a few months before she heard my ad.

When we met a few days later for dinner there was an immediate attraction on both sides. She was slim and well tailored with beautiful legs and full breasts that noticeably pushed out her blouse. The conversation was effortless and rarely touched on sex. She was a highly intelligent and complex woman with an open and welcoming personality. She had excellent eye contact and was a good listener. Her teeth were perfect, her skin was creamy and her hair was cut stylishly short. Her hands and fingers were slim and her wrists were very slender, what the French call les attaches trés fines. Her lips looked perfect for kissing. Work took a lot of her time but she still managed to read and keep fit. Her eyebrows shot up when I told her I had a Ph.D. and she suddenly began to take me much more seriously. That revelation seemed to lay the foundation for a real warmth and intimacy that infused the whole remainder of the evening.

She lived in a downtown condo and invited me to walk her home. Without any comment she slipped her hand into mine while we walked along continuing to talk. As we approached the building she invited me in for a nightcap. Standing close to her in the elevator I became aware of how clean she smelled and of the sheen of her hair and the clearness and softness of her complexion.

As I closed the apartment door behind us we found our faces so close together that the only thing to do was kiss. The first touch was exquisitely soft. Soon, however, the pressure became more intense and our mouths opened to let in our eager exploring tongues. We were now in a tight embrace. I could feel my cock tingling and stiffening. She took me by the hand and led me through the darkened room to the sofa where she pulled me down to lie by her side. We silently continued to kiss passionately and began to reach for blouse and shirt buttons. I slipped my hand inside to caress one full bra cup while she stroked my full erection through my pants. Soon the pace relaxed a little and I told her how much I wanted her but I would really prefer to postpone the consummation to another occasion when we knew each other better and had more time. She said she really wanted to have me inside her but also agreed we should wait for a couple of more dates. We both felt we were beginning something special and should go slowly but not too slowly.

We removed our upper garments and lay in each other's arms for another hour or so just stroking and kissing and gently telling each other how pleased we were that we had met. As I was leaving we agreed to spend the following weekend at my place. She would come over about two on Saturday afternoon, we would go to bed right away and I would cook dinner for us later.

The rest of the week seemed endless since we were unable to see each other again before Saturday except for a quick lunch a couple of days later. There were, however, some lengthy late-night phone calls during which she masturbated herself to beautiful screaming orgasms while I died a thousand deaths saving all my cream for her. Her relief and my frustration were a double standard that she would battle to the death to uphold, she said, as she recovered from her fourth orgasm one evening. We were getting desperate for Saturday to come around.

A First Time Full of Promise

The doorbell rang about two on Saturday afternoon and at last we could enjoy each other in our own private world until Sunday night. I was well-rested and freshly showered and wearing nothing but my bathrobe when I opened the door. She was carrying a small overnight bag and wearing a casual blouse and slacks. We paused for a deep kiss during which she slipped her hand through the opening in my robe to find my full erection. "Just thinking of you," I said with my best attempt at a straight face. After running the tips of her fingers over my tight scrotum, she just took me by the hand and told me she'd have the whole-house tour later but right now she was anxious to go over my credentials in the bedroom.

I pulled the covers back, slipped off my robe and lay down on the freshly washed white sheet as she stepped out of her shoes and teasingly slid her slacks to the floor revealing that she was wearing no panties. She then slowly unbuttoned her blouse to reveal her beautiful full breasts with their nipples completely erect. She knelt forward onto the bed and took my cock straight into her mouth as I moaned with surprise at such a direct assault and with pleasure at the incredible warmth and softness. "God," she said, "I've been dying to do that since the night we met. He's beautiful. He's so big I've been wet all week thinking about him." With that she swung her leg over and sat straight down on him as we both gasped. Her pussy was so slick that she took in his full length effortlessly. The pleasure was so intense that the shock silenced both of us for a moment. I reached instinctively for the bed spindles while she leaned forward with closed eyes to support herself with her hands on my shoulders as she savoured its length, thickness and hardness. Her eyes were still closed as she started to move up and down slowly and gently at first. Soon she leaned back slightly as the pace of her thrusting increased and she began to stroke her clitoris with the middle fingers of both hands. I continued to hold onto the spindles with both hands even though I was dying to caress and suck her rocking breasts. With her eyes still closed she had obviously been transported to a world of her own. Now and again she would squeeze a breast with one hand while continuing to stroke her clitoris with the other. She would pinch the erect nipple and groan then move to the other and back and forth as she rode my cock harder and harder. She was clearly building to a huge orgasm that would not be long in coming.

By now I had regained my composure and was just enjoying the sight of this beautiful woman abandoning herself to the pleasure of her body. Her breath quickened and her groans became more throaty. Soon she was crying obscenities that began to excite me and force me to watch my self-control. Then came the first scream then another as her body flushed and she drove down on my cock in hard, slow thrusts that must have taken the tip of my cock right up to her cervix.

I reached up and cupped her breasts in my hands as she began to slump forward in exhaustion. They more than filled my hands with their exquisite, heavy silkiness as I lowered her onto me gently then slid her to the side laying her head softly on the pillow. At first she seemed actually to be unconscious. Soon she began to come around as I kissed her gently on the cheek and stroked her hair, neck and breasts. She put her hand behind my head and pulled my face down to hers for a gentle kiss. "I love you, darling," she said. "And I love you too," I answered realizing how true my feelings really were. For several days now I had realized that there was a deep direct connection between our minds that could only be confirmed by intercourse. I ached to pour my cream into her just as I had poured my words and ideas. We both obviously felt a growing bond between us, a sense of living on the same ground that was being discovered with every meeting and conversation.

"Let's play later, my beautiful darling. Right now please just empty yourself into me. I just want to have you completely inside my body," she whispered with tears of emotion starting to form in her eyes. "Please, darling, please just let yourself go and fill me with your love. Don't hold back. Please."

The obvious depth of feeling in her voice took me by surprise as I had anticipated a long period of play before my own orgasm. But, given the power of the love on both sides, and my overwhelming desire to give myself to her in any case, to empty myself, to pass out of my own body into hers and be lost there irretrievably, I quickly said, "Oh, yes, darling, let me fill you to overflowing."

She opened her legs as I moved onto my knees. I leaned forward and said, "You guide me in, darling, I want to be exactly where you want me." She pulled my head forward into a deep tonguing kiss as her soft hands took my shaft and directed the head to her opening. We both gasped again as I entered her for the second time. By now she was wide awake again and smiling lovingly as she watched my passion grow with each stroke. I began to groan as I reached the point where I both wanted to last forever and explode immediately. Because there had been no real foreplay, my orgasm took a while to come even with her solicitous encouragement. At first my mind was completely absorbed by the pleasure of her tight, hot, wet pussy. She stroked my face and shoulders and told me how much she loved me and ached to feel my hot cream shooting into her. "Go for it, darling, let yourself go. Don't hold back. Your cock is so beautiful. Make him explode in me. Fill me, darling. Just fill me."

Soon I had reached the point of no return. The express train that had been slowly approaching in the distance was now rushing down on me with full speed. I could hear myself scream as the first spasm hit. The steel bands that had been tightening around the head exploded and I felt the rush of fluids emptying out of me. Again and again with ever diminishing force my cock emptied itself into her hot, wet, velvety depths. At last the spasms subsided to intermittent squeezings as I came back to earth to feel her arms drawing me down to her breasts and the gentle touch of her lips on my ears and cheeks and the words "I love your" repeated over and over. I even felt just the slightest trace of a tear as she pressed her cheeks close to mine. I lay helpless in her arms for a long time until my cock completely softened and finally slipped out. Then I slipped to the side and we both drifted off to sleep. I buried my face in the softness of her neck and felt the fullness of her beautiful breasts against my arm before I lost consciousness.

We were so emotionally drained that we slept for about an hour. As we drifted back to the surface through the intoxication of each other's flesh we kissed gently and stayed snuggled together with every possible square inch of our bodies touching and talking softly into each other's skin. We had both felt the desire to show the love that had been growing unspoken in each of us. Yes, it was early in the relationship to be talking this way but facts were facts and we each found ourselves taken to depths of our characters by the other in a way that neither had ever experienced before. Being with each other was like sharing the same body and talking together was like being aspects of a single mind. Talking to the other was like thinking for oneself.

Soon our love talk took on an erotic edge and our hands began to move more purposefully over each other's bodies. My cock felt its first tingle of new life. While I certainly felt playful, I wanted to take my time and truly make love to her. I told her that now that she had had her wicked way with me it was my turn to take the lead and there were still a few pieces of unfinished business left over from the moment I met her: one was to suck on her breasts and the other was to eat her out. I told her I wanted to kiss her body all over and that she had better just lie back and not make any trouble. I took her hand, put it on my fully erect cock and told she was causing enough trouble already.

She kissed me deeply on the mouth, told me to do my worst, pulled herself up slightly, adjusted a couple of pillows behind her and lay back to give me full access to her extraordinarily beautiful breasts. Now it was her turn to hold on to the bed spindles while I lifted a breast with my hand. She felt the heat of my mouth as I took in as much of the soft flesh as I could and gurgled slightly as I rapidly flicked the hardening nipple with the tip of my tongue and caresssed her other breast with my free hand. The skin of her breasts was exquisitely soft to my tongue and lips while the weight of them in my hands caused my cock to come to its full hardness.

I must have spent a good half-hour exploring Anne's breasts as she cooed and squirmed and ran her fingers through my hair. Finally I pushed both breasts together, took the two nipples into my mouth, flicked my tongue over them one last time and started to kiss my way down her belly to her pussy opening. By now my cream had worked its way out and made the lips especially soft. Tasting myself made me think of my fantasy about her "infidelity" and about me watching another man cum in her then drinking him. She must have been thinking the same thoughts as she pulled my head up to her and kissed me on the lips. "Darling, I'm sorry, but he was so gorgeous I just had to fuck him for you. His cock was so long and thick. Drink every drop." I could hardly control myself. When I returned to her pussy, I licked around her clitoris. There was a loud groaning from the pillow which only increased as I ran my tongue several times from her clitoris to her anus which I discovered to be very sensitive.