Sorry no hard sex scenes --- I don't do them.
No wives physically harmed, just upset a bit.
Please enjoy my little story.
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A honeymoon is a very special thing!
Some however are better then others, and certainly, so it would seem, some are more exciting than others. Presumably even, some are more successful than others.
Either way, it is traditionally, the opportunity for a man to get to know his wife more intimately as it were, and of course vica-versa. At least, that is the theory, but of course in this modern age we live in, it is seldom the case that man and woman go to the altar virgins.
No!
Nor did we.
That however didn't mean that on my honeymoon, I didn't get to find out things about my wife that I never would have expected.
It may even surprise you dear reader ----- But read on ---- Please, read on.
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We'd been living together for nigh on two years when we decided to make it all official, and that was a combination of pressure from her parents, and the thought of us one day soon, maybe starting a family.
All stacked up it did. All made sense. Even the tax situation would be an improvement.
So there we were the two of us at the registry office with her parent's Tom and Brenda, mine living too far away to make the trip. A few other pals, a couple of them to witness the binding, and that was about it.
Didn't want to make a fuss, and couldn't see that it would make that much difference to us.
June loved me and I loved her!
"Well that's it John," her dad Tom said to me afterwards. "You're really part of the family now lad."
"I've felt part of the family for quite some time already Pop," I replied happily. "You and Bren have been like parents to me with my parents living abroad."
"Aye well lad," he went on. "You two had better be getting your skates on or you'll miss your flight."
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We nearly did to, but three hours later saw the pair of us, Mr. and Mrs. Parker, winging our way to the South West coast of France, where we'd booked a long week end in a posh hotel a few miles up the coast from Royan.
We debarked at La Rochelle, collected out little Renault Twingo hire car and were on our way down the coast.
The hotel was perfect and not too big, the rooms sumptuous, and ours at least with a view stretching out over the incredibly beautiful blue sea.
"Right there Mrs. Parker," I said to her, imitating my father in law's northern accent. "Get thee kegs off lass."
"You want them off, then you take them off," June giggled back at me.
"Right lass, thar's got a deal," I cried, and proceeded to chase her round the room till I cornered her against the bed.
"Oh please kind sir," June laughingly beseeched me. "Go easy with me if you're going to use that nasty looking weapon on me, for I know not how to handle it."
"Like hell you don't," I replied, giving up on the accent. "Let's consummate this marriage before we go down to dinner."
"Thought you'd never ask," June giggled, pulling her dress off over her head, her panties and bra following before I'd even unlaced my shoes. "Come on slow coach. Let me give you a hand."
She did try to help me --- She really did. But once her beautiful pert breasts came within reach, then I stopped helping myself, as I attempted to feed them into my mouth. We ended in a jumble at the side of the bed, with me fondling her naughty bits while she'd changed the target of her attack from my shoes to my trousers.
Fifteen minutes later with my trousers down round my ankles and one shoe on and one off, we eventually managed to carry out the required act, rediscovering as we had before on many occasions, that my thingy fitted very nicely into her wotsit.
Probably didn't look too pretty or anything and wouldn't have made it into a porn movie, but by golly it felt good.
Felt even better the second time once I'd got my other shoes and my socks off.
It was nearly two hours later and freshly showered, that the pair of us entered the dining room to re-acquaint ourselves with the wonders of French cuisine.
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That night we re-acquainted ourselves yet again with one another's bodies, June's lovely slender body and perky tits never failing to please me, as she attempted to do her best to exterminate me permanently, by way of physical exhaustion.
She failed, or at least decided to spare me ------ But it was close ----- Damn close!
Then the following morning I launched a determined counter-attack, concentrating my remaining forces on the two little mounds where so many of our skirmishes had taken place the previous night, and once they were safely back in my hands, I directed my attack South.
June mounted a strong rear guard action, but I was never that keen on anal anyway, so that didn't worry me too much.
Eventually I finished it with a forward thrust down the centre, and her cause was lost.
"God that's gorgeous John," she cried out. "I thought you were never going to fuck me."
Yes! ----- She took defeat extremely well all things considered!
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We not only missed breakfast, but lunch as well, but a couple of hamburgers from a café in town soon took care of that.
Then it was off to the beach, me in my baggy cossy and June in her bikini.
Have you noticed how over the years, as girl's bikinis got smaller, then guy's swimming gear seemed to get bigger and baggier?
Why is that?
Have you noticed, if you live in Europe that is, how few girls even bother with the top half of their bikini these days?
Why is that?
Who cares a damn anyway!
June and I spent the next hour or so taking in the scene around us.
"Have you noticed how many women are topless?" June asked with a bit of a frown.
"Errr ..... No, not really," I stuttered back, unable to keep the guilty grin off my face.
"Liar," June accused me, and we both burst into laughter.
"Are that blonde's boobs bigger than mine," my wife quizzed me.
"Do you think that girl with the big tits with the older guy has had a boob job?"
"My boobs don't sag like that woman's, do they?"
"Are mine as perky as hers'?"
"Do my nipples stick out like that blonde teenager over there?"
For the next twenty minutes or more June plagued me with questions, and though the task of making the necessary examination was not at all unpleasant, I really got a bit fed up with having to find a diplomatic answer.
