Author's note: I had trouble being satisfied with this story. I was fortunate to get Sbrooks103 to give me suggestions. I made a lot of changes besides what he suggested so blame me if you don't like it. I hope you enjoy.
*****
I am ashamed to tell you my story. The reason I am writing is the hope that someone now doing what I did will stop in time to save their marriage. Honestly, I don't know if I would have done anything different if I had read a story like this because I was a Class A, no, make that a Class AAA BITCH. I probably would have ignored it or thought it pertained to someone else not me.
I guess I should introduce myself first. My name is L.C. Mathis. I have always had problems with my name. L.C. stands for Linda Carole which is what my mother and father would call me when I was in trouble. I got in trouble a lot growing up, so I learned to hate my full name. I thought of using either Linda or Carole by itself, but those names were 'too common' for someone who yearned to be special. I thought going by my initials would be cool. Instead it became a hassle to try to teach people to say my name by pausing between the 'L' and the 'C.' If they didn't, it would sound too much like 'Elsie.' What's wrong with that? Elsie the cow's milk commercials started airing on TV about the time I began using my initials. Are you getting the picture yet about how screwed up I can be?
After an unremarkable high school and college academic career and a dull social life, I married a good, no, great man after college. We met at a wedding of mutual friends. I was surprised that Dustin called me a couple of days later. My self-image had trouble believing a man as intelligent and good-looking as Dustin would be interested in me. I had no outstanding positive features (face, breasts or butt) and was overweight. For some reason, he kept asking me out on dates. He never pressed me for sex but responded very enthusiastically when I eventually offered. I began to believe some of his many compliments and finally convinced myself I might be worthy of becoming his wife. I did, however turn him down twice before I gave in.
We were very much a loving happy couple for many years, at least I think we both thought so. Each of us had secured good jobs (accountant for me and bank loan officer for him) and were able to start a family right away. It is hard for me to talk about our marital and family life because of what I did to it later. I still cry over how I have dishonored those precious moments. For now, just understand that nothing, absolutely nothing, that Dustin or our kids did caused me to act the way I did. I will jump ahead to when things began to change, i.e., I turned to my dark side.
Both kids were grown and out of the house. Dustin, unfortunately, received all my attention. It was unfortunate because the attention came in the form of criticism, negative criticism. He told me that he assumed initially my attitude was due to Empty Nest Syndrome, so he tried to spend more time showing his love with gifts, evenings out, praise, and attention to my sexual needs in the bedroom. In spite of his increased efforts to please me, it seemed to be producing the opposite effect. I asked myself, "Why all the extra attention? He must be hiding something." I became increasingly paranoid regarding his behavior towards other women, seemed to pick fights just to pick fights, and frequently withheld sex as punishment for his supposed sins. A recurrent theme in my outburst was the accusation that he was having an affair.
I was under the misguided perception that my lack of attention from the men I worked with was due to my lack of stylish (i.e., slutty) clothes and too little makeup. Being 30 pounds overweight just gave me more 'curves' or so I convinced myself. Dustin seldom gave me any negative feedback so when he mentioned I might want to 'tone down' my wardrobe and makeup, I exploded. He was banished to the guest bedroom for two weeks. I dressed even more provocatively until my boss called me in and talked about the dress code at work. I was madder at Dustin being right than I was at being reprimanded by my boss.
Dustin's requests to discuss problems led to even more problems. He held back his anger and tried to ride it out, I guess hoping my attitude was just a temporary glitch in our relationship. After more than a year, we both knew things were worse, not better. Then came the conversation that started the fire that could not be controlled.
Dustin had barely made it through the front door before I started squawking, "It's about time you came home. How was she? Bigger boobs than me?"
Dustin replied in the flat tone that showed he was resigned to receiving such welcomes. "Nice to see you too, dear. It's 7:00. I told you I would not be back at regular time since the training was in St. Louis. I think I said it might be as late as 8:00, so I'm actually a little early."
"Early? What's the matter? Couldn't you get it up after the first orgasm? I wouldn't know because you haven't had one with me for a long time."
"L. C., it's hard for me to have an orgasm when you won't have sex with me."
"Excuses, excuses. I've told you I didn't want 'sloppy seconds' with you after you've been with your lover or lovers. Well, don't you have a nice lie already lined up to tell me?"
"What good would it do? You haven't believed anything I've said for months."
"That's because you've been cheating on me for months. You're at the end of your rope, buster. Just for the fun of it, tell me the lie you have for where you were today. Please, no repeats of previous lies."
Dustin seemed to be getting more and more upset. "Don't worry, I keep a list of lies to make sure I don't repeat any." I really got angry at that.
"L.C. look at my phone. I took a selfie in the training room. Here's me and Todd at our table. Does it look like Todd and I were having sex?"
I grabbed the phone and used my fingers to enlarge the picture. "And who is that tramp behind Todd? Was she just your whore or were you having a threesome with Todd?"
"That's Jacqueline Case, she works in the Champaign branch office. She is married with two kids, aged 10 and 13, Alisha and Michael. Like me and Todd, she had to attend the training."
"Ah hah! And just how do you know so much about her? Caught you, you bastard."
"There was a warm up exercise before the training. We had to talk to someone we didn't know before and then get up, introduce the person and tell three things about them. She told me she was married, had two kids, and liked to do it doggie style with men who looked like me."
"Asshole! You can't divert me with your sarcasm. Where was the training held? In a hotel?"
