I propped myself up on one elbow and stared down at him. Steve was already sound asleep. His breathing had slowed. His body had begun to cool, the sweat of passion slowly disappearing. He was content, his mouth hinting at a smile. I could still smell it though—the passion, the erotic perfume of our sex.
Even after twenty-one years, my husband sometimes surprised me as he did tonight. His need had been urgent, his lust intense, his passion overwhelming. He hadn't needed nor wanted foreplay—only release, his eyes apologizing to me for his selfishness. I couldn't help but wonder what had caused him to be in such a passionate mood, but I was thankful for it. I didn't always need or want prolonged foreplay. Sometimes I just wanted to be fucked. Tonight was one of those times.
I studied his sleeping face. What if he knew? What would this dear, sweet, gentle, and loving man do if he knew the truth about what is inside my head? He wouldn't hate me. I'm sure of that. And he wouldn't leave me either. Men like Steve don't do that. They don't run when presented with things they don't understand. They survive. They maintain. They persevere. They forgive.
I've led a very sheltered life, but that doesn't mean that I'm naïve. I have always known that there are all sorts of wild and kinky sexual things out there—that people actually do those things. I'd never seen it though—not until overhearing two people talk about that website. "The fucking wildest, kinkiest shit you can imagine." One of them had said to the other. I can't explain why I went to my computer to check it out the instant I got home—but I did. That was three weeks ago, and I haven't been the same person since.
I had often wondered what it would be like to give Steve a blowjob. But I didn't understand about blowjobs—not until seeing those videos—not really. Of course, all of the men on there had much bigger cocks than Steve's, but that didn't matter. It was what they were doing with them that shocked me, how they took so much of those things into their mouths and throats, how they seemed to enjoy it all so very, very much. That was what captivated me—what hooked me. They seemed to be having so much fun doing it.
Every time I had imagined doing it, the visual I got was of me forcing my mouth onto him at that crucial moment, forcing myself to resist the urge to back away. And finally, he would cum in my mouth and down my throat. I would swallow as best I could, and hopefully not embarrass both of us by gagging or throwing up.
That's not the way it happened on those videos though. Those women didn't cram their lover's cock down their throat and fight not to gag. They pulled back and opened their mouths, stuck out their tongues and waited anxiously for their prize. It seemed to actually delight them when some didn't go in their mouth—when it coated their lips and chin and face—even their hair. They scooped it up with fingers and tongue and seemed to savor it. I couldn't imagine that—not while watching the first several videos anyway. The idea kinda grew on me after that. And at some point, I'm not sure when, it began to look . . . wonderful and erotic and exciting.