I'd like to thank Wolf Vixen for her help in catching my errors. So grab the beverage of your choice and be ready to be entertained or not, your choice on how you view the story.
*
As of today I'm officially single again for the first time in twenty-two years. My divorce is now finalized and am I happy about it? Not really but I didn't have a choice. Most people say I went nuts or I'm trying to relive my youth again. In truth, I'm just sad that I had it all and now I'm starting all over again.
You see, I initiated it approximately four months ago and in the process pissed off more people than you can imagine. My parents, my mother in law and my three kids are no longer talking to me; they now call me an asshole. Our friends are now her friends because they no longer want to associate with me any longer.
I was thinking about retiring at sixty-two, but now it'll be closer to eighty two, because most of our money was "Karin's," left to her by her father when he passed away. So, she will have no money issues and I will struggle somewhat. The house won't be put up for sale until our youngest, Randy, turns eighteen and until it sells I can't buy anything for myself, so for now I'm renting. I'll have my 401K and social security when I retire but that's going to be about it.
When I told my wife I was planning on divorcing her she thought I was joking, but I wasn't. Up until yesterday, Karin kept telling me to get my head out of my ass and call it off, but I couldn't. I guess I could have blamed her and talked ugly about her when everyone took me to task but that wasn't me. Besides, I still loved her heart and soul but we couldn't stay married any longer.
Let me tell you what happened and see if you agree with me, but even if you don't, it wouldn't make any difference. Does Karin still love me? Well she did until yesterday and now I'm not to sure. Did she lie or cheat on me? Hell no, she'd never do anything like that. She cared deeply for me, treated me with respect and was a great wife and mother, that's why it was so hard to do what I did.
Confused? Most people felt the same way. That is everyone but my best bud Mike. I ran it by him months ago and he also thought I was nuts, that is until I told him everything.
"Karin's beautiful, has a great body, a dynamite cook and a perfect mother to her kids, what did she do? Cheat on you?" he asked.
"Nope," I said handing him a beer from my apartment refrigerator. "She was almost a perfect wife up until a couple of years ago," I told him taking a long swallow of my Corona. "I thought we'd be married until one of us died but I guess that's not going to happen now."
"If she was so perfect, what the hell happened?"
"Menopause, plain and simple. It took hold of her and that was it."
"I still don't get it? All women go through it. Maybe Karin a bit earlier than most, but it's not the kiss of death," he told me.
I handed him another brew because I knew this was going to be a two-beer story, and it was, but at least now he understood why.
A couple of years ago Karin started going into menopause. She knew something was wrong, but at forty-one she never dreamed she was going through her change at her early age. She went to a couple of doctors and they all told her the same thing, "that it can happen to women anytime after forty." But Karin wasn't going to go quietly or without a fight. She read up on it, she went to support websites, started taking special herbs and changed her diet drastically, but nothing worked. I was supportive but didn't really understand it.
"Honey, why don't you just take the pill the doctor suggested?" I asked.
After chewing my head off and then spitting it out onto the floor I realized that she didn't want to go on hormones. Like I said, I didn't know squat about it and since it wasn't happening to me, it wasn't all that bad. Wrong! It now took over my life too.
"Babes, you can hang meat in the bedroom," I said one night.
"Steve, I'm having night sweats damn it and I'm having to change my clothes almost every four hours," she yelled at me.
"Well, if you slept naked you wouldn't have to change a thing," I said with a smile. Ok, it was a stupid thing to say but I thought a little humor was in order. I was wrong.
So, the temperature in our bedroom went from cold to hot and back to cold again; and I'm not talking just about the air temperature either.
Our sex life was great when we first got married, but after our second kid, it went to just good. However during her change, it dropped to bad at best.
It was Saturday night; I'd just cleaned up the supper dishes and the kids were out on dates. I was feeling it was time to get reacquainted so I came up behind my wife, put my arms around her hot body and asked if she wanted to fool around.
"Is that all you think about is sex? Is that all I'm good for? Can't you see I'm having a hot flash and sweating like a damn pig? Sex is the last thing on my mind right now," Karin shouted at me.
Be still my heart, she sure knew how to ruin a mood. Was I angry? Yes. Did I understand it? Not really, but I made it a point from that second that I would. I sat her down and told her to talk to me about it. She refused at first saying that I couldn't understand, but I told her to explain it to me anyway. So we spent Saturday night going through Menopause 101.
She was right, I didn't or couldn't understand it all, but I told her I would help her any way I could, and I tried for a very long time but I finally gave up and so did Karin. She admitted defeat and took the "drugs" the doctor had suggested. It helped a lot with the night sweats and mood swings, but it came at a cost.
Our sex life like I said was great before the kids. Then after the birth of our brood it went down to just good. During Karin's flare-ups during menopause it went to bad at best and finally post menopause it became nonexistent. She no longer had any sex drive what so ever, which started to become a wedge between us.
We now have sex if I press the issue. Lovemaking was now a thing of the past. I heard all the excuses and probably a lot of them were legit, but it didn't help matters any: I didn't get enough sleep last night and I'm tired. I'm hot right now, let's do it later. I don't get as wet as I use to, and spit isn't going to cut it any longer. Can't we just cuddle tonight? Can I just give you a hand job instead?
The ones I grew to really hate were just two: "Steve I'm not in the mood and finally; Damn it Steve, I'm not a twenty year old and don't get hot and bothered at the drop of a hat; live with it."
Finally I just stopped asking and waited for her to come to me, but that didn't happen either. I beat my meat in the shower most mornings or evenings but that wasn't too satisfying. However, it was a lot better than bringing it up to Karin who would get angry, lay on her back legs spread, and tell me to just use her and get it over with. Doesn't sound too appealing does it? Not to me anyway.
But outside of that, she was still the Karin of old. We kissed, cuddled in bed and she took care of all our other needs. She was still the perfect Susie homemaker but that wasn't enough for me. I was almost forty-four and wasn't about to give up sex for the rest of my life, even if Karin was.
Just before I got married my dad pulled me aside and gave me the talk, as he called it.
"Steve, from this day forth, Karin will come first in your life. She will be your wife, lover, your best friend and some day the mother of your kids. It will be your duty to love and take care of her. Don't let me ever hear that you've lied, cheated or disrespect her son. If I do, I'll kick your ass from here to kingdom come, you hear me boy?" I told him that I did. "Remember, marriage isn't going to be a walk in the park every day, but you're marrying each other until death do you part. Your mom and I've been together for almost forty years and I love her more now than I did when we first got married," he finally told me. That was his talk or warning as my mother put it.
