Her lips pressed firmly against mine, a hand on each cheek, her eyes closed as long as the kiss lasted. Pulling her head back from mine, she whispered, "I love you, are you ok baby?"
"Yes, I think so" I said, a little unsure myself just how "ok" I really was with myself, our relationship and the events which had transpired over the past 2 weeks, culminating in a barrage of emotions over the past 12 hours.
My wife Tammy and I have been married for over 20 years. I suppose at first my being 29 years old to her 18 was a source of security to her; but has the years passed I aged more rapidly than she and too many good time and too much great food had resulted in my being obese and diabetic. The age that had once "not mattered" was mattering now as my sexual appetite had waned with my ability to get and maintain an erection of any substance. Tammy is not prone to complain and assures me that she loves me very much. She had enjoyed the oral sex and had been satisfied with augmenting our sexual activity with a variety of vibrators. She assured me that she loved me for the man I was and not for the sex.
About a year ago, it all changed. She stopped using her toys. She even stopped maneuvering for oral sex. Finally, I brought the subject up.
"Honey, do you want me to hold you while you use your blue toy tonight?" I asked.
"No" she said as she turned her head.
"What's wrong?" I quizzed softly.
"Nothing." She responded.
Over the years I have learned that "nothing" seldom means "nothing." So I pleaded in my most supportive tone for her to tell me what was wrong. Finally, she gave in.
"It's just that lately when I use my toy, I miss the feeling of a body on top of me, I miss the force and the pressure. I am frustrated because all the toys that I have bought are larger than you, and frankly my being on top just is not the same as when you used to fuck me hard. I'm sorry, I do not mean to hurt your feelings, but you have always told me to speak up and you asked!"
I couldn't say that I was shocked. I really could not say anything at all. Over the 20 years I had more than once told my wife she shouldn't ask me any question she was not willing to hear the answer to! Now the shoe was on the other foot.
"Ok, well what do you want to do about it?" I asked.
"Baby, I don't see anything that can be done!" She started to cry into her pillow.
"Oh, honey, I am so sorry. I should have taken better care of myself!" was all that I could think to say.
The genie was out of the bottle. I had flung the Pandora's Box wide open without even knowing it.
"You want to have sex with a man." I said.
"I did not say that!" She said firmly.
"You did not say it, but you would enjoy it. You would enjoy being fucked hard and fast," I said.
"Of course I would like to be fucked. But I could never cheat on you." She insisted.
"What about a 3 way? I said, knowing that the subject had been broached more than once over the past 15 years, usually after watching "Real Sex" on HBO, or some such. She had always laughed it off. But this time, it was different, much different.
"Be careful what you wish for hubbie you might just get it!" She looked me straight in the eye, she did not blink, she did not stutter, she did not miss a beat.
"What do you mean? You would have a 3 way with me and another guy?" I quizzed.
"I don't know, but you have always said if you were there it would not be cheating. I don't know about a 3 way because I don't want to worry about who is where and doing what. But if you are willing to be in the room with me, and make sure I am not harmed, I would let you watch. You've told me 100 times you wanted to see somebody fuck me. Well I think it is about time you put up or shut up. There I've said it, are you happy?"
I was not exactly happy, but she was right. I had talked about her fucking somebody else while I watched. "How do you want to make this happen?" I asked her.
"I don't know. I will leave it up to you to figure it out. He will be pinch hitting for you, so you should be a part of getting him in the line up." She insisted.
"Well there are swinger's magazines, or any number of on line ways to link up." I thought aloud.