How High a Price

When you get to the last paragraph and question the end of the story,

Please re-read the first paragraph and you'll understand why.

Do you really know what it feels like to love someone with every fiber of your soul? To have a burning passion, in that you want that person more than anything else on this blessed earth. To me, it was like an insatiable craving that only got stronger when I was not with her. Even though some people said you can lose one's self in the process, when it becomes nothing short of an obsession, but to me I didn't care, I was in love and lust for her. It was like after rocking each other's world and finally untangle ourselves from one another, our hearts still beat wildly, we were covered in a heavy layer of sweat and the only thing we could think about is how long until we could do it all over again. That, my friend, is the kind of love and passion I'm talking about. I used to have that. We used to have that, but now I'm in a survival mode, and fighting for what I once had. Fighting and wondering how far I will go to get it back again.

People have their own likes, dislikes and personalities to boot. Me, I'm not as straight laced as I once was but I am still driven, a little present I got from my dad. When I really want something, I put the blinders on, put my head down and go for it. Luckily it's worked for me in the past and I've gotten everything I've ever wanted; the wife of my dreams, a beautiful daughter and a job I truly love. But through it all, I guess I kind of let my guard down, and wasn't totally aware of what was happening around me. Life was good, we were in love and we were happy, maybe too happy.

Even though it was 2006, Sandy was an adopted child of the sixties. Tie died shirts, tattered jeans, sandals and oh what a body. At five foot ten, in her bare feet, she was tall, lean and had a face that as someone once said men would go to war for. She has straight brown hair that always seemed to glisten in the sun and a when she smiled; those jade colored eyes bore holes into my brain. I was smitten; hell I was in lust at first sight. And you know the best thing about it? She was perusing me.

I was just finishing up my senior year of college when I met her. I had broken up with my long term girlfriend eight months earlier and pretty much had my hands full with graduating, sending out resumes and getting my life back on track when I met her at a spring keg party. I don't think she had a shy bone in her body. She walked right up to me and introduced herself.

"Hi, my name is Sandy, and yours is Steve isn't it?" she asked.

When your tongue has an erection it's really hard to talk but that's what happened. She snuck up behind me and by the time I saw her I was already tongue-tied.

"Yes, I'm Steve and yours is Sandy, is that right?" sounding stupid at best.

"My friend Carol knows you," she said pointing to a group of girls now watching us as she waved at them, "and says that you hate to be setup on blind dates but thinks that we'd be a good match," she said smiling at me.

I kind of wished I had been drunk so I could at least have blamed my stammering on alcohol but I wasn't. I did my worst but it must have been good enough, because she didn't run away screaming, she stayed, we talked and yes; we were meant for each other.

For me sparks flew, bombs went off and all I did the first night was hold her hand and kiss her good night at her apartment door.

"What'll it be like if we actually end up doing it?" I thought to myself as I drove home with a raging hard-on.

Sandy called me that very same night to say she'd had a wonderful time talking to me and that my last girlfriend must have been a total moron to let me go. I agreed, but kept my mouth shut and let her go on. We made a formal date for Tuesday, because she had her last final on Monday afternoon and was hitting the books so she didn't blow it.

I was just about to call Sandy Monday night, to see how she did on her test, when she called me. She was all up an excited because she felt like she'd aced her test.

"You want to come over and celebrate with me?" she asked?

"Hell yes," I said and was probably half way to her place by the time I got off my cell. It took exactly seventeen and a half minutes to get to her place; I timed it while I made my way to her door.

"That was fast," she said answering the door and giving me a quick kiss I never expected or was ready for. "You want something to drink?" she asked as I noticed a bunch of other people inside.

"Sure, what do you have?"

"Haven't a clue but you're welcome to whatever we've got."

I got a Miller Lite from a cooler in the kitchen and found her talking to Carol and a few others in the living room.

"All these people your roommates?" I said trying to make a joke and then realizing how stupid it sounded only after it had already left my mouth.

"Most are Carol's and Jill's friends," she said speaking into my ear as the music was getting even louder. She led me out onto the apartment balcony and shut the sliding door. "Wow, it's getting loud in there, I hope the manager doesn't get pissed off again. He said last time it was our final warning, but we've already gotten two final warning this semester alone," she said now looking at me as I started to melt again. "Well, nothing like starting our date a little early," she said walking into my arms pulling me close.

She was the perfect height for kissing. I didn't have to lean down, she was right there and wasn't shy about what she wanted. We touched lips, swapped tongues and exchanged spit for about twenty minutes as I felt every contour of her body as my hands roamed freely across her back and ass.

"That was nice," she said pulling back from me slightly. Reaching into her shirt she pulled out a joint lit it up and took a long hit off it. "Want some?" she said while still holding in her breath trying to hand it to me.

"No, not into it. I'd rather have a beer or wine," I replied.

"I can't handle alcohol for some reason. I get sick even after only one glass of wine," she said exhaling what was left in her lungs before taking another long hit off her joint. With this, I feel good and I never have to worry about a hangover," she said blowing out what was left again.

"But, grass is illegal where booze isn't. What happens if you get caught?"

"I'd probably get a slap on the wrist since I only do it once in a while and would probably only get caught with maybe one joint; it's not like I'm dealing or anything like that. Besides, it should be legal anyway. Alcohol causes a lot more accidents and I never drive when I'm stoned anyway; I just want to lie back, relax and enjoy the moment," she said smiling at me as she tossed what was left of her joint over the balcony. "You want to relax with me, Steve?"

All right we didn't relax as she pulled me into her bedroom and locked the door. For the next two hours my heart was no-where even close to being in a relaxed mode as I discovered the rest of her hidden secrets and special talents.

I can't say we made love, but we did do everything else. I found eight freckles, two tiny moles and the sweetest pussy my tongue had ever come across. She wasn't shaved, but was it was trimmed pretty short as I probed and licked every square inch of her pussy as she moaned and told me what a good job I was doing before finally climaxing.

Sandy then proceeded to pull me up to her lips, kissed me, as she wrapped her legs around my waist and pulled me inside of her. There was more than enough lubrication as I bottomed out on my first stroke. I pounded her for the better part of five minutes before giving up the mother load, as I called it. The only time our lips separated was when she pushed her hips up hard and climaxed for the second time screaming out. "Oh God, yes."

She lay there quietly with her eyes closed but with her legs still wrapped around my waist; I guess she wasn't ready to release me just yet.

"You're not going anywhere mister," she finally said with this smirk on her face as she opened her eyes. "That was only round number one and you owe me at least another one before I let you leave." Who was I to argue?

I was in full and total lust with her and I believe she with me. After that night we were inseperatable. We got to know each other better and I even found a few more freckles she never knew she had; I was up to twelve. I secured a good job in a large marketing firm and after getting a new apartment, Sandy moved in with me about four months later.

Within six months she'd met my parents and I was brought home to meet hers. Her mom and dad were concerned that she might drop out of school when I told them we were talking marriage but I assured them that I wouldn't let that happen. With both our parents blessings we got married in a little ceremony with just family and a few close friends almost one year from the day we first met. Life was good and we were happy.

The next two years were like a whirlwind as we both had huge things happen to us. Sandy graduated from school and got a job working with the county social services offices, I got a nice promotion and a year and a half later we found out that she was pregnant. Do all dads to be go brain dead when they hear the news and all ask the same stupid question? 'How did that happen?' Well duh? My bride was beaming and said how happy she was that we were soon to become three.

The only real disagreement we ever had was when I caught her smoking a joint one Saturday night after dinner.

"Babes, I don't think you should be doing that, being pregnant and all."

"Steve, it's like smoking a cigarette, no big deal.

"Hon, even smoking a cigarette is harmful to a baby one way or another and I know you don't do it often, it's just that I think you should abstain until after the baby is born."

"You're right, and its no big deal," she said tossing it into the toilet.

Seven months later we had Lisa Ann. She was just over six and a half pounds and soon became the number one focus in our lives. I never dreamed in a million years that adding one little mouth would change our life so drastically. Now everything revolved around Lisa's schedule and needs. It was hard getting used to it, but by the time Lisa hit three we were in the grove and almost professionals or thought we were. I was toying with the idea of talking to Sandy about a little brother or sister when things got busy or should I say a little out of control.

Sandy's office had a cutback in staff but not workload, as everyone was expected to take up the slack. Instead of working from nine to five, it was more like eight thirty to six or seven before she could get home sometimes. They paid her overtime but that wasn't the issue, the hours were killing her. It probably would have been smarter for Sandy to get another job, but we had just purchased a small house and needed her stable income for at least the foreseeable future. We both got stressed and it showed.

Tuesday night I was finishing up cooking hamburgers and hot dogs on the grill when Sandy dragged her butt through the door. Looking up at the clock I could see it was close to seven. I stopped, put the lid down on the grill and walked over to her.

"Hi stranger." I said giving her a kiss. "Rough day?"

"There all rough lately and to make matters worse, Dan quit today. He told them he needed to get off early the next two Thursdays and they told him he'd have to make up those hours on Saturdays. He got pissed, they told him it wasn't up for discussion and he ended up telling them what they could do with his job."

"Think he'll come back tomorrow and ask for his job back?"

"Not likely. He's got two Masters and why he's still there I haven't a clue. They're so cheap, they probably won't replacement him and just push the work off on the rest of us. Steve, I can't put in anymore hours," she said almost with tears in her eyes.

"Why don't we start looking for something else for you? There's got to be something out there that's better than what you've got," I told her giving her a big hug. "Why don't you go upstairs and change. I've got dinner almost done and we'll have a quiet night with just the three of us."

"Give me ten minutes and I'll be down," Sandy said moving up the stairs.

I waited twenty minutes before going upstairs to search for her. I found Sandy sitting on the bathroom floor finishing up a joint.

"I know what you're going to say, but I don't want to hear it right now. I need it to wind down and it's nothing different then when you come home and have a beer or a glass of wine."

"But Sandy you're doing it all the time now. It use to be only once in a while and now it seems to be almost every other night. Babes, I'm getting concerned. What if they do a random drug test? There is no way you'd pass it and you'd lose your job, is it really worth it?"

"Steve, you talk like I'm an out of control addict. So I have a joint once in a while. Hell, spend a day with me and listen to everything I have to put up with and you'd be tossing down a six pack a night."

"But hon like I've always said, alcohol is legal and marijuana isn't; that's the issue." I knew I wasn't going to win this discussion especially right after she'd smoked a joint or two so I decided to drop it, at least for tonight.

Dinner was a bit tense until Lisa pulled out her charm, which made both of us forget the tension between us and remembered what was really important. Sandy got her ready for bed and I read Lisa a story before falling asleep. She truly was the best thing we'd ever done together.

I was already in bed waiting when Sandy finished up in the bathroom. She flopped on the bed, hugged her pillow and told me she wanted to sleep for a month. I moved over and started massaging her shoulders and back.

"I'll give you a week to stop that," she said talking into her pillow as she stretched out a little more. I moved from her shoulders to her back and down to her thighs. When I moved one hand between her legs and brushed up against the cotton material that was separating me from her pussy she moved but not much.

"Take me if you want, just let me know when you're done. I'm just too tired to even say no tonight."

That's not how I liked or wanted it so I kissed her on the neck, curled up next to her and held her close. Ten minutes later Sandy was dead asleep even with the lights on.

"We've got to find her a new job before she burns out," I thought as I still held her. We could probably make it on my salary alone, but there would be absolutely no extras and we'd both become accustom to splurging every once in a while. So I let it slide, it was easier to do nothing, but looking back I shouldn't have.

Sandy's smoke outs became the norm rather than the exception. I hated the way it made her smell even though she took a shower most nights before coming to bed. We made love, but she was usually stoned and more lethargic than anything else. I did most of the work and although it was still good, it wasn't what I was hoping for.

"Babes, don't do that tonight," I told her walking into the bathroom, as she was getting ready to light up another joint. "I'd like to see you straight at least once in a while. Hell, I feel like I've been living with Cheech and Chong for the last couple of months."

"I don't bug you when you have a beer after work do I?"

"All right, I'll make you a deal," I told her pulling her in close to me. "I won't have a drink after work if you don't light up every night, deal?"

"But Steve, it helps me wind down after work," she said almost pleading.

"But babes, it's becoming almost an addiction," I tried to tell her. "Just try it, for me, will you?"

"All right, but if I get too stressed out I'm going to have one," she said in almost a defiant tone." I was more than worried at this point.

We took it a day at a time. I made sure I had dinner at least started by the time she came home from work and I made it a point to never leave her alone, that way she couldn't sneak one while I finished cooking dinner. She was now straight but wasn't happy about it most nights.

Friday night Sandy beat me home. I went upstairs and she was rolling a joint in the bathroom. I guess I kind of lost it.

"Hon, you promised," I told her.

"I need this tonight," she said as she finished rolling it.

"Sandy, that's the key word now, you need it. Since it's no longer a want but a need, we've got to get it back in check," I told her grabbing her joint and the bag of what she had left.

"Damn it Steve, give that back," she yelled at me as I walked over to the spare room bathroom, flushed the toilet and dumped everything thing into the water as she screamed at me.

Then things got uglier, if that was even possible. She ran down the stairs and took the last four beers I had left in my six-pack and dumped them out in the sink. When I just looked at her and she saw it didn't faze me, he turned it up a notch. She went over to our liquor cabinet, grabbed two bottles and threw them against the dining room wall; it was now officially out of control. I grabbed Sandy as she screamed and swore at me.

"You had no fucking right to do what you did. I'm not a kid, I can do whatever I want," she said grabbing her purse and car keys. "I'm just going to go out and replace what you took," she said storming out the house as I looked on. We had a problem even if Sandy didn't think so.

Two hours later, Sandy came back and was totally stoned.

"I thought you said you never drive when your stoned, Sandy?" I asked her.

"You left me no choice," she said sitting down on the couch. Where's Lisa?" she asked looking around.

"I put her to bed after you went out to get your fix."

"It wasn't a fix, just something to take the edge off my stressful day."

"Sandy, it's become an addiction, a crutch or whatever you want to call it, and you've got to break the hold it has on you. Don't you see how it's effecting you and us?"

"Steve, you're getting way too uptight about this," she said looking at me through her smoked out eyes.

"I can't talk to you when you're in this state, we'll talk tomorrow," I said getting up from my chair heading upstairs. She was more fucked-up then usual, if that was possible. I cleaned up and was in bed before Sandy even came upstairs.

"Aren't you going to at least wait for me before you go to bed," she asked.

"Why, do you even have a clue where you're at?" I said angrily. "Sandy, I give up. Smoke, drop acid, stick a damn needle in your arm, I don't care any longer. You're a big girl and can do what you want, as you so eloquently reminded me, just stay the hell away from me," I said turning over and going to sleep. If I thought that outburst would have an effect on her, I was sad to say I was wrong since Sandy was almost never straight anymore.

It now became a game between us. I would search for her stash and if I found it, I would destroy it. Then I reached a point where I couldn't find it any longer. She was still getting high but wherever it was, I could never find it. Then came the next unpleasant chapter in our all ready out of control loves.

Sandy was carrying some files down the stairs at work and fell. She hit her head on the railing, cut the top of her head open and there was blood everywhere. They took her to the emergency room sewed her up, but also did a drug screen. I guess every time there was an accident it was mandatory. Like I'd told her in the past, she failed but not just for marijuana, but for cocaine also. I hit the roof and we had the biggest argument of our marriage.

"Sandy, how stupid can you be, you're going to lose your damn job over this," I yelled.

"I'm not going to lose my job. All I have to do is go through a drug rehab class and take mandatory drug tests randomly every month, no big deal," Sandy said like it was nothing.