This is complete fiction, describing the relationship between two flawed, but basically good characters. If you liked my story the Elevator Ride, you'll probably like this one.
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I've been married twice; the first time for three years to a woman who it turned out had no interest in sex. Not in me, not herself, the guy or the girl next door, none! There were other things wrong with the marriage too, but no sex drive was such a big one that the rest don't matter so much. The two of us should never have married. I don't know why it took us so long to realize that. We parted friends, no money changed hands, so other than wasted years, and I did all right.
For the next couple of years I made up for lost time. I was newly single, sex was easy, life was good. I was a slut! I screwed everything I could, house wives, singles, divorced women. I went to some swap parties as a stud, and participated in MMF, FFM, group sex, the whole bag. Eventually I came to my senses, and realized I was lonely and bored. There's only three holes to stick it into, after all.
I wanted what I didn't have: the settled life. Wife glad to see me, children's hugs and kisses, warm meals and wet swim suits, and a two car garage in a good school district.
The dating scene just wasn't working for me. I realized I was being too particular in my stated likes and dislikes in woman, and it occurred to me that the longer the list of must haves I wanted in a spouse, the less likely I would be to find anyone acceptable. So I settled on three characteristics, really smart, well read, and of
Normal physical proportion, well four things, no cosmetic surgery. And I stopped actively hunting for both sex and a wife.
I threw myself into work. I have a small, growing consulting engineering firm, and was surprised when a nice looking woman came into my office, and demanded ten minutes of my time to talk about insurance. I don't know how she talked her way past my sectary/ bookkeeper, but there she was there in my office, and I had to be polite to her as I tried to get rid of her.
I didn't get very far on the last bit, it was quickly apparent she knew my business's insurance needs better than I did, and could bundle the package together so as to give me better coverage, for a little less money. Plus her agency was a local one, only a block away. The promised ten minutes became an hour. About lunch time we were done with business, but I didn't want her to leave, so I asked her to lunch at the tavern around the corner.
We fit together like paper cups... read many of the same books, Laughed at each other's witticisms. By the time the check came she had touched my hand, arm and shoulder.
We argued good naturedly over the check, and as a compromise I agreed to let her pay if she would let me take her to dinner Saturday.
Two weeks later we were "a couple." We discussed our sexual past, I confessed to my slut period and that was now over. She said she had a similar very wild period that she thought wonderful at the time, but in retrospect she was profoundly sorry for, but that she had gotten straight, had no diseases or addictions, and was going to stay that way.
I told her that whatever she did before we got together was the past and no reflection on me or us; that if it ever reared its ugly head, she was to tell me, and we would face it together. She cried a little, and I told her the one rule I had was no fucking around. She was free to do as she pleased, go where she wanted to, but as long as we were sleeping together, it would be exclusive for both of us, for our protection, and because I frankly found sharing a partner I cared about... awful.
She agreed it was what she wanted too.
In the next weeks I gave myself over to love. She was very accomplished in bed, and inspired me to rise to her level. It was great. On the phone, we talked for hours; she was fascinating, and a gifted raconteur. After six months, she took me to her company holiday party. This is a big thing in business, because thereafter, if we split, she would have to explain 'what happened to that guy you were dating?' Now, you know I wasn't particularly looking forward to it. Who would! I mean before I walked in the door at least half of the attendees were insurance salespeople! But duty is duty. And it really wasn't so bad.
She took me around the room doing a dozen introductions. We had some superb cocktail snacks that justified the name Hors D'Oeuvres. She had a glass or two of wine, me diet soda in a beer cup. She wasn't drunk, tipsy or even a little high. Her career was too important, she was on! Full alert! People here could make her career. When I was comfortable and she knew I would be all right on my own, she left me so she could go work the management crowd, and I chatted about mostly with those who weren't insurance people.
About an hour later, I noticed she was talking to a guy a little older than her...well maybe 20 years older, and I got the impression she was checking, looking every few minutes maybe keeping a eye on me??? What's with that? I thought.
I wandered out the front door onto a lovely wraparound porch, followed smoke and laughter, joining a group of chilly, banished smoking sinners banished to the side porch. I joined in the chat, standing where I could see her through the window, but due to the lighting, she couldn't see me. About three anecdotes later, she glanced around, said something to her friend, and went up the stairs. He wandered around a bit, and followed a minute or so later, how obvious was that!
I waited a few more minutes, and went up the stairs to see what's what. I didn't really think she'd fuck the guy as he was clearly no prize, especially with the crowd in the house. It was a posh old house, in the upstairs hall the party going on downstairs was just a quiet murmur. Most or the rooms off of the hall had their doors wide open, so I didn't bother to even look in there. Two had the doors shut. The first was locked, so I felt along the top of the casing, and sure enough there was the key. I quietly opened it, saw three guys enjoying each other, smiled, gave a thumbs up to the one who saw me, hoping my gesture didn't have an erotic connotation to gays, and shut and locked the door.
At the end of the hall was the other closed door. I gently lifted and turned the handle and silently eased it open, it wasn't even locked! Two people were fucking on the bed. I was sure the one on top was my Janice, and the pile of clothes by the door was confirmation of that. I assume the man was the geezer from down stairs. At a house party, fucking naked behind an unlocked door! How stupid is that? Jesus. He must have just stuck it right in her because they hadn't been here for more than five minutes! Even she needs some foreplay; at least she does with me!
Him on the bottom, her sitting on his prick. Neither could see me. I shivered with disappointment...paused just a moment, deciding what to do. Had we been married or something, I would have busted it up in a public way but we weren't, so I looked to revenge.
I was hurt and disgusted. I had thought she was a keeper. Big mistake. I stepped inside, and quietly collected all of their clothing and shoes. They had thoughtfully left them in two piles for me. Out of kindness, I left her purse, but took her cell phone. I slipped outside, and pulled the door to the casing, but not latched. No one was about, not that it mattered much. I walked across the hall into the bedroom, knotted his pants legs, and stuffed everything into them. I remembered to shut off the cell phones. Didn't want to make it too easy to find the Ho(bo) bag. I cinched the top with his belt, opened the window looked out...lots of thick shrubbery coming right up to the house. Perfect! I leaned out, extending my arm holding just the tip of the belt to minimize the noise when it hit and let go. It landed with a quiet swish and disappeared.
I don't think you could have seen it from this window with a flashlight! I shut and locked the window, walked down stairs, and told a group of four guys and a couple of girls a fabulous sight was awaiting them if they were to go up quietly and look in the bedroom at the end of the hall, suggesting they might want to have their phone cameras out while they urged the revelers on! You'd think I'd said there were two wealthy guys looking to buy whole life insurance up there. They were gone like a shot. I thought about waiting around, but it wasn't worth it, so I walked out, got in my car, and drove the forty miles to my house.
I was sad. Crushed really. I had had hopes, but now...not so much. I kept my cell on, but it didn't ring. I wondered what that meant until it occurred to me it didn't mean anything. Her cell was with their cloths, so she probably didn't even know my number to call me even if she wanted to. I fell asleep and slept soundly.
At six o'clock the next evening she barged in to my house unannounced, carrying a six pack and a pizza. "Son of a bitch! Thanks to you, I had the most embarrassing evening of my fucking life! And what's worse, I disserved every moment of it! That geezer Howard talked me into a quick fuck for old time's sake, and like the idiot I am, I agreed."
"You were out of sight, I went up first, had to pee and while I was sitting there...well, we'll skip that part. So when I went in the bedroom figuring to give him a hand job, or a really quick blowjob, or at very very worst a quickie, he was naked on the bed. The door was shut and I assumed locked, and was about to start a hand job, when he told me to strip down and hop on. I knew it was dumb to get naked in a place like that, but my brain was out to lunch. Had to have been, or I wouldn't have been there in the first place."
"I was too dry to enjoy it, and it was too late to protest, 'cause I realized Harold could give a shit, plus to make matters worse, he had whiskey dick and couldn't cum quickly if he wanted to...I just wanted to just get it over with. Just as the fuck turned from outright discomfort to something between disgust and indifference, all these people burst in the door carrying on, hooting and hollering."
"Jesus H! We were buck naked, with my tits hanging out and all. Me riding a cock horse and they're cheering me on, laughing and offering fucking advice on fucking! Phones recording in video and whatnot. Christ! I jumped off, not even a sheet or blanket to cover myself, Howard, the son of a bitch, is lying on them. He looked like turtle that lost his shell, covering his shrinking dick with both hands. And where the fuck's my clothing? They had been right there on the floor! I ran around the room providing the rabble with more entertainment while I looked for the clothing. Nothing! Desperate, I whip open a closet, but our hostess is a size 2 and I'm a size 12! On me, her bathrobe didn't even meet in the middle.
Finally Howard is off the bed with a dangling limp shiny dick, shooing them out, I'm putting on Earl's cloths. He's short and fat. Howard and I are 10-12 inches taller than him. We look ridiculous! We were a sight to behold. Disheveled, barefoot, goofy cloths! We tried to sneak out, but he had lost his keys, and I didn't have my car. Now it was like running a gauntlet of people laughing and applauding. I hope they thought we were playing a game or a prank. One of the older women laughed so hard she peed herself! Pandemonium! I frantically looking for you, and not seeing you, I ran outside.
Your car was gone! Something died in my soul right then. I just sat down and cried my little black heart out. You did this to me, I know it was you. You saw me riding a different horse than the one I came in on, and left me to him. It served me right.
Eventually one of the women who works in record keeping rescued me, shivering and barefoot wearing a scarecrow costume and offered to drive me home.
The good news is, I was so thankful, that I promised her my first born child. The bad news is she said it would be enough to for me to give my first born male the name of the place she's from. What do you think of Austin? That's where she's from."
