Chapter 1
Three years ago my husband Rod was involved in a horrific skiing accident. He lost control and crashed sustaining major injury to his groin area from the tree he hit. Now at only age twenty-eight he no longer has use of his reproductive organs. The damage was repaired as well as it could be but he cannot perform or achieve an erection no matter what stimulation or therapy we have tried.
It's been very difficult for him as you can imagine but also difficult on me. Three years I have stood by him as he recovered hoping everyday that he could once again make love to me. I loved sex with him; we did it at least once a day before the accident, sometimes two or three depending on time. To go from that to nothing is very frustrating. No it's downright killing me! He does other things for me, oral sex and using toys but nothing can make up for his wonderful penis.. I yearn to have a man inside of me again. I dream of it often and sometime because of the lack I dream of more than one man. Masturbation takes the edge off a little but I feel empty and always wanting more.
I've even contemplated cheating or even leaving Rod, but I know how selfish that is and how much I would hurt Rod if I did. I find myself looking at other men, knowing they can and probably would have sex with me easily. Not to brag but I'm quite good looking. Still fairly young at twenty-seven and I maintain a level of fitness that is extremely high.. Rod and I were really into all types of sporting activities from running, cycling, skiing, and many more. When I was twenty-four we made the choice to enhance my breast size so not only am I toned and sexy I have a large chest to go with the rest of the package.
The men I look at admire my assets and when I'm out with Rod I know he sees me looking at them and them at me. I recognize it kills him not to be able to give me what I want anymore and I think he hears me in my dreams call out for cocks and scream in pleasure as I dream of being ravished by men.
The final nail in the coffin came at our latest doctor visit. It wasn't good news. We were trying a new therapy with the use of erectile dysfunction drugs in conjunction with pumps, porn and electro stimulation. The pumps engorged his penis and the hope was once it was removed we could use the electro stimulation to maintain the erection. It didn't work. As soon as the pump was removed his penis would instantly begin to shrink even on the highest setting. Watching the porn with him was torture to me. I found myself getting so wet and wanting the cocks on the screen in all my holes. I was so deprived I even wished for anal sex and what they call double penetration where two men would put their penises in my anus as well as my pussy. These were the type of videos we tried. Rod wanted the try the nastiest and hottest stuff we could find in hope of keeping his erection.
I yearned to be the actress in the films! I wanted those cocks in me I wanted to suck a real live hard member and have it squirt its juice all over my face. That was something toys didn't do and I missed my husband ejaculating in my vagina or on my fake boobs when he felt like it. The porn we watched just made those urges worse. Rod was so frustrated. As soon as I took the pump off him and tried to keep him hard with my hand or mouth no matter what I did it would just shrink and he would sometimes cry and other times he got down right mean and spiteful to me..
As this wasn't working we went in as I said before to the doctor and he told us there was nothing more that could be done. That was the bad news. My husband was forever going to be impotent and there was nothing anyone could do to help us.
A few weeks passed and Rod was so depressed we stopped trying anything all together. The videos when unused, the pump and equipment was put away and I felt even more deprived. When we were trying I felt something there at least. I mean I got to see hard cocks on screen cumming and I did get to suck and touch Rod's for a few seconds before it shrunk down to flaccid. Now I was getting nothing! He even stopped using toys on me and performing oral sex. He was so depressed I didn't know if he would ever recover..
Physically he was healthy again, walking normal and working again it was just in the area of sex that he was lacking. He made good money and I quit my part time job I got while he was recovering so I found myself trying to stay busy with exercise, girlfriends and house chores. We hadn't had any children yet, thinking we had all the time in the world and now that this accident happened children seemed impossible.
One particular day I was out with my girlfriends to lunch and the subject of sex came up like it sometimes does. I couldn't help it and started crying in the middle of the conversation and left all of them stunned and mystified. At home I don't know what came over me but I got out the porn videos we had purchased and a few toys to play with. I lost track of time and was totally naked and fucking myself with two dildos when Rod came home. I froze when he saw me and he didn't take it well. He turned around and walked right back out of the house leaving me naked, embarrassed and unsatisfied.
I fully expected divorce papers to be served the following day and when the door bell rang I got up from the table I was eating breakfast at alone. Rod had not come home the entire night. At the door was a delivery man and he handed me a next day envelope and left. I closed the door, walked back to the table and ripped open the envelope. It wasn't divorce papers but it was from Rod. There was a round trip airline ticket, money, a three day stay at a spa I had never heard of and a letter from Rod. I opened the letter and began to read:
Emily,
I've made arrangements for you to get what you need. I'm sorry I'm not the one to give it to you anymore but know in some way by me doing this I've had a hand in satisfying you once again. Inside the envelope you will find everything you need to be fulfilled. They are expecting you tomorrow so don't be late.
Yours forever,
Rod.
I was taken aback to say the least. This was not what I expected at all. I really didn't know what it all meant or comprehend what Rod was talking about. I didn't know a place like I ended up going to existed. I think that's why I got on the plane; I was to naΓ―ve to realize what I was getting into.