Ben.
Our eagerly anticipated Caribbean getaway wasn't the once-in-a-lifetime vacation I had worked my ass off for the better part of a year to enjoy. But here I was, Salesman of the Year and reaping the rewards. The resort boasted the three 'S' requisites, sun, sand, and surf. They were in abundance but as I lay in the warm sun next to my wife of 23 years, it was amply evident my wife Kay interpreted the "3 S's" a little differently.
My first clue was weeks ago when the Amazon trucks began unloading a hefty array of boxes on our front porch. Beachwear, towels, and a staggering array of bathing suits, each one barely more than postage stamp patches of brilliantly festive cloth strung together by dental floss. The cost-to-weight ratio would've given Bitcoin a hardon. Kay tore through the boxes, giddy with joy as she held each one up, striking suggestive poses in our bedroom mirrors. But when she slipped into the first "suit", she cried out in agony and immediately doubled her visits to the fitness center with a final afternoon at her favorite salon for a summer cut, dye job and much to my surprise a total waxing.
Kay
I love my husband. He provides well for us, never strayed, and until recently had been the only man in my sights or my pants. Then one afternoon we were enjoying drinks by the park's jogging trails and Ben asks me what I thought of an approaching jogger. Male, mid 20's, tanned, bare chested with his jogging shorts flapping as he pumped his muscular legs.
"Oh, I don't know. Why do you ask such things?"
"We've been married for over 20 years, and you've never fantasized about a handsome stranger in all those years?" Ben's incredulity was a little irritating. I wasn't sure our marriage vows covered idle fantasies.
"I AM human." I replied briskly. "OK...let me focus for a minute. Hmmmm. I like the curly dark hair; the sweat is a little icky but he's very fit. Those cute shorts keep popping forward like maybe he forgot his jock?"
"Or he's hung like a Clydesdale?" Ben questioned slyly.
"Jesus, Ben, are you back on that voyeur crap you were trying to get me to go see at that club Nancy and Jim are always bragging about?"
"So, he's a total turn off?" Ben challenged.
Kay's eyes rolled back, "I didn't say that. I'm not sure I could party like that with a total stranger while you sat there watching us. Wouldn't you be jealous? Angry?"
"Oh yes. But that would fuel my desire to reclaim my wife in ways that you've never imagined." He bragged.
"Take two Viagra and try me in the morning, Kay answered rudely. "I don't believe you, and I don't think I could watch you make love to another woman."
"Fuck, not make love" Ben corrected, "I love you; I'll always love you. We make love. In all our years...especially with my travel for work, you've never once masturbated? Had a fantasy that demanded attention? Not once...ever?"
Kay looked shocked, then guilty, "Well, that's just normal hormone stuff."