His Daughter's Wedding

Writer's Note: This is the last of my older stories that I can now post here. It's a little different for me.

*

John looked around at the set up for his daughter's wedding. This was one of those happy/sad days. He wasn't sure if he should rejoice that his daughter was getting married, or cry because his daughter was getting married. He shook his head at his conflicting emotions. This was one of the things that made being a dad tough, especially a single dad like he had been for the last five years. On top of that he knew that she would be there, for she wouldn't miss anything this big in her daughter's life. He wondered how he would feel, after not seeing her for two years. It was five years since the divorce, but they had seen each other here and there a couple of times. A total of four, he thought. Three of those meetings had been short, and none had been the time for either to see how the other person was doing.

He was glad that Darlinia had invited her, even though she wasn't supposed to be with the family. He thought it was a sign that Darlinia's anger at her mother was cooling off. She really did need to forgive her even if it was just for Darlinia's sake. That much anger wasn't good for her soul especially when she was beginning a marriage. And after all he was the one that had been publicly humiliated, not Darlinia.

That last had been by accident; he knew his ex-wife wouldn't have done something like on purpose. It had been the result of her foolishness and selfishness, but she hadn't meant for it to happen. He knew it pained her to think of what she did to him.

He stood there thinking, I still don't know how it got out, or why some people felt the need to send notes to me, to the newspaper and make comments on radio shows about me, but they did. I'm glad I forgave her years ago, even though I haven't had the chance to tell her. Darlinia though is another story.

He sighed and continued his thoughts, I hope I don't have to come down hard on Darlinia tonight. It is her day after all, but Mary deserves to be treated like her mother.

John looked around some more, watching the seats filling up in the church. His head turned as something he saw through the corner of his eye caught his attention. It was her joining the people waiting to be seated. She was wearing a very nice looking red and blue dress. It wasn't tight, and it ended righ aboe her knees, but at the same time it showed her figure was still good. Her hair was done nicely, just like she used to wear it for him.

On an impulse he hurried over to the young man serving as the head usher, the one that would lead certain family members to their seats. He hadn't thought of doing this before, but he felt it was something that should be done.

He whispered some instructions to the usher. John could tell from his facial expression that the young man wasn't sure about doing it, but he reminded the young man that John was the guy who was paying for the wedding. The guy finally nodded. John went back to his position of waiting for his daughter to come out.

He followed her with his eyes as the usher led her to her seat. He saw the surprise on her face when she saw where it was. She said something to the usher, probably saying that she didn't belong there, but the usher said something back, which was probably what John had told him to say. That she belonged there; she was the mother of the bride after all. Finally she nodded and sat down. Turning to face the way his daughter was going to coming from, he waited. He felt those conflicting emotions again, and they were joined by a sense of forboding.(?) He knew he would have to have a quick word with her before she started down the aisle.

He turned to one of the ushers and motioned him over. Once he was in ear shot, he instructed him to go tell the pianist that the bride may be a bit late so he wanted her to play something jazzy, something with an upbeat tempo, but to keep an eye out for the bride. She was to stop wherever she was in the song when she saw Darlinia. The young man nodded and hurried off.

John watched him whisper to the pianist. Seconds later she started a new song with a faster beat.

Thirty seconds later his daughter came from around the corner. She frowned when she heard the song, then dismissed it as irrelevant to the situation. A few steps later she was close enough to peek into the church auditorium. She frowned deeper when she saw her mother seated in the front. John stepped closer to her so he could speak to her without anyone else hearing.

She spoke first, "Why is she sitting there?! Why did they put mother there?"

"Because I told them to."

"What?"

"She is your mother; she deserves a place of honor."

"But she...!"

He interrupted her to save time, "I know what she did. I was there, remember?"

He said it gently, not in anger, and she calmed a bit, and asked,

"But why?"

"She deserves it."

"But I don't want her there."

"I know," he said as gently as he could, "And I know why... This is your day, I don't want to get tough with you, But as I said she is your mother. She carried you for nine months, she gave birth to you, she wiped your nose and your bottom. She was there for all your events, even your dancing recitals after the divorce. She encouraged you, drove you where ever you needed to go, she even disciplined you when it was needed. She was and is a good mother. Even after the divorce and you told her to stay out of our life, she was there for you if you ever needed her; as I said, she went to your dancing recitals and cheered for you."

"If she's such good a mother, how could she do that to my father?"

"That is for her to say, but I have to insist that she stay there. I hate doing this to you especially today, but she deserves to be there. Besides you will have your back turned to her most of the service, and you will be thinking of your husband-to-be, not her." She turned to look at his face. After seeing the look of compassion and determination on it, she relaxed in submission.

"Okay, daddy, for you she can stay."

It wasn't exactly what he wanted, but he accepted it.

He smiled and said, "Thank you... now let's go. Your fiancé is waiting and probably wondering if you changed your mind."

She shook her head at that thought and started forward. As soon as she stepped onto the threshold, the music changed to the wedding march. Everyone turned and looked toward the back, then stood. The wedding went well, even though Darlinia's head moved slightly when, instead of saying "I give her away", he said "her mother and I give her away", but she kept her eyes on her fiancé. After he sat back down his ex-wife took his hand kissed it, then bent over and whispered, "Thank you."

During the rest of the wedding his mind kept going back to his own wedding when he had married the woman sitting next to him. It had been so beautiful and exciting. They were so much in love, he shook his head at how it had ended. It had been mostly good up until then.

After it was spread around when the picture was in the papers - after the notes saying he must be a lousy lover and other notes telling him how to make love to woman to keep her and two people even sent him copies of the "Joy of Sex" while others sent Sex For Dummies - his friends had said he needed to divorce her as quickly as possible to save his reputation and business. In his pain, not so much because of the humiliation even though that had been painful, but because of what she had done and becaause of her lying to him, he had agreed.

He didn't know why she went to that orgy that night. She said it was the first time and would have been the only time. He thought he believed her, but he wasn't sure. He also didn't understand why everyone in town thought she had been there. She and her lover were in the background of the picture, and they had been full clothed. The main subjects of the picture had been the city fathers and a couple of city mothers caught at the orgy. Some were still naked, or only partially clothed.

The house was still burning in the background. It had been a large house, one of the fancier ones in town, but it had gone up rather fast. Some of the attendees, like his wife and her lover, had had time to grab their clothes and dress before the firemen and reporters showed up. Some escaped with just an article of clothing, or nothing. Among those were the important people that had made this orgy newsworthy.

She didn't fight the divorce. At first it looked like she was going to but, about the same time the notes started coming in, she said she wouldn't fight no matter what he wanted to do to her. No matter how much he hurt he didn't want to cut her off from everything. He made sure there were no court orders to keep her away, and that she would get some alimony. Soon after it was final he heard that she was living alone and she got a job, on the outskirts of town where he would not run into her. That surprised him - not that she got a job, because the alimony wasn't enough for her to live on, but that someone would hire her. And that she was living alone. He thought she might move in with her lover, at least for a while.

It was right after the divorce that Darlinia let her, and everyone else, know that she hated her mother and wanted nothing more to do with her. Their son, George, hadn't react that way. He let her know he didn't like what she did, and he hated what she did to his father, but he didn't kick her out of his life either. They got together some of the time, some times after his track meets that she attended. Sometimes she even drove him to the meets when John was busy. She had had to sneak into Darlinia's dances, but she was there cheering her daughter on.

John turned his attention back to the wedding in front of him, when it was announced that Darlinia was going to dance. He knew that she had a lot of time planning just the right dance. And that she had spent a lot of time looking for the right wedding dress. She finally had to have one made. She wanted it to look a certain way, but at the same time be made in such a way that would allow her to be able to dance.

The dance was to last five minutes and it was, as she had explained to her father, to express love, friendship, unity and even passion. He didn't understand the symbolism of her moves, but she said it was all there. Two of her bridesmaids joined her for two minutes. John wasn't sure how all that was expressed during the dance, but his daughter explained that it had to do with her movements. By the expression on her husband's face, he got the passion part.

After Darlinia and her new husband kissed they turned around. Just as they started back down the aisle she stopped and walking over to John, she bent over and hugged him.

While she was hugging him, he whispered, "Hug your mother."

She stiffen and he continued, "I'm sorry to do this to you, but as I explained earlier she deserves it for every reason and more that I already said. She deserves your respect for being a good mother."

She wanted to say something, but only nodded. After she was done with the long hug she turned to her mother and hugged her. Not as tightly as she had John but it was still a hug.

She said, "Thank you for coming, Mother."

Her tone had been emotionless as she said mother, but Mary seemed to ignore it as she whispered back, "I would have come to this important day in your life even if I had had to stay outside and peek in through the windows."

Darlinia gave her a strange look like she hadn't expected that comment, let go then straightened up. She went back to her husband and they continued down the aisle. Her husband said something that sounded like it was a word of encouragement for hugging her mother. He knew the whole story and they had discussed it. They even had a couple of arguments over her need to forgive her. John drove alone to where the reception would be. Mary must have driven over in her car, for she was there even though not in the receiving line. She stayed near the back, like she was afraid of causing a scene with her daughter.

While they were in the line he overheard the now married couple whispering to each other. She said that she would do the dance again just for him, alone and nude. The new husband said that if she danced nude she wouldn't be alone by the time she finished. She answered back saying that she would love for him to join her and they could finish the dance on the bed.

John decided he had heard enough, but there was no where he could move until everyone was done greeting them. He whispered to them that they should be careful who could overhear them. He thought he saw Darlinia blush when she realized what he had heard.

After the line was depleted, John got some refreshment thinking about how emotional this day was for him. He was losing a daughter, in a joyous way, and he had to deal with the memories of what happened five years ago, plus talk to his ex-wife whom he hadn't seen for five years. Part of him was happy she was there, that he could see her and talk with her, but part of him still hurt over what she did even though he had forgiven her. He still didn't understand why she had cheated.

Looking around John saw a couple he hadn't seen for a while: George and Sunny. John went over to talk to them. On the way he thought how sad it had been when George's first wife died suddenly, but at least he found somebody else to share his life with. He had heard they had some problems; he didn't know the details, although she had moved out for a few days, but by the way they looked at each other now they had ironed out whatever difficulties they had had. He was happy for them.

After chatting with them for a few minutes he saw another couple he knew. He wasn't surprised to see them there. He didn't know them that well, but Darlinia did. At one point they had divorced. According to rumors it was because she had an affair. And according to other rumors it was with a younger woman. John didn't know for sure, and he figured that his daughter might know what really happened, but he didn't know them well enough to ask her. He did know that they had remarried after the guy's heart attack. Now by the way they were standing with his arm around her and the way she looked at him John knew that they worked though whatever happened to cause the divorce.

Ten minutes later he saw his ex-wife step outside to stand on a balcony. John followed her. He just silently leaned against the railing for a moment or two.

Finally he said, "You look very nice in that dress. I've forgotten how pretty you can look."

She looked startled like she hadn't expected him to say that. After a moment she said, "Thank you. You look very handsome in that tux."

He knew that she wasn't just returning a compliment. She meant it. "I've tried to stay in shape, but these outfits make almost anyone look good."

After another moment he turned to her and said, "I've recently realized that I miss you. Even after five years it's not the same sleeping by myself."

Her eyes widened, probably in surprise that he was sleeping by himself.

She said, "I know what you mean. It is lonely sleeping by oneself for five years."

He got the message that she too had been without lovers, or a boyfriend. Of course he hadn't been totally truthful with her. She probably had heard that he had dated a few women a year after the divorce; he had had sex with two of them, before he decided that wasn't what he had wanted.

He should have been more careful about the second woman he had sex with. It turned out that she was something of a slut. He didn't find that out until the next day. He had himself checked for STDs. The first woman he didn't worry so much about. They didn't have sex until the fifth date and later Susan said it was because she was unusually horny that night. They had had two more dates after that without sex.

They stopped dating by mutual consent. She told a girl friend that she didn't want to go where she thought the relationship may be going. She had had fun with him, and the sex had been good, but she wasn't ready for a deeper relationship. She told him, that she appreciated the fact that he hadn't demanded sex when they dated after that fifth night. He hadn't minded because that was when he decided to stop dating. Even though he had had good times with some of the women, it wasn't what he wanted. So he had had no one in his bed for the vast majority of the time since the divorce which included two months before. Of course technically he had slept alone even the two nights he had had sex, since neither woman had spent the night. He suspected that it was the same with her. He had heard she had kept her lover as a lover, for a few weeks after he told her to leave, but after they broke up she hadn't dated.

Suddenly a certain question came to John's mind; even though now may not be the right time he had to ask it.

He turned to her and said one word, "Why?"

She looked puzzled for a moment, then maybe because of the anguish in his voice she understood the rest of the question. She sighed and said, "For the reasons Darlinia has stated continuously: I was foolish and selfish... I can't believe how foolish and selfish I was."

He stood there for a moment, then said, "I've heard you say that before, but how did it happen?"

"It was while you were in Germany working with the military, on that hospital there. You kept leaving... for months sometimes. It was hard without you there. That time I was angry at you because you promised you stay home for a while then you had to leave for three months. I know it was an emergency with the hospital over there, but you broke your promise.

"That day when it first happened, I was feeling sorry for myself. The toilet in the front bathroom started leaking and I had to find a plumber to fix it that day, something you should have been there to do. I was late for work that day. I was feeling used and abused not only because you were out of town and things were happening you should fix, but because the kids were at the age where they were starting to get ready to leave home. "I had been looking forward to spending time with them at our weekly special dinner, but they were both too busy with school activities. I knew they were growing out of my life. That day I decided to do something for me. I wasn't sure what I wanted. Going to a movie was out. I had done that a few times and it was too ordinary. I suddenly thought of a massage. A whole body message sounded so good, it would ease my tensions and feel good.

"That was when I thought of a certain coworker. You met Jimmy once; he was a sexual free spirit. He and his wife worked at trying to get others into their sexual free lifestyle. He had talked to me a few times, but I always refused to get drawn in and I always changed the subject. Until that day.

"Jimmy came to see me about a project, and stayed to talk to me. He usually only spent a few minutes talking to me, but that day he must have sensed I was ready for something more. He talked longer, going into more detail than usual. I was thinking about how good a massage would be and I recalled that he gave good massages. I had heard that from two other women who worked in the same office.

"When he offered me a shoulder rub, I jumped at the suggestion. He started the shoulder massage, but after a few seconds he said that I was too tense and that I needed a whole body massage. That sounded good so I agreed. He said he couldn't do it there, which I had anticipated, and that we should go to his place after work. We did. He had a massage table already set up so after he explained what he was going to do, I laid down on my stomach with my arms above my head.

"He started on my arms, slowly worked his way down to my shoulders and down my back. He went across my back and down to my bottom, but instead of going over my butt cheeks he caressed the sides. It was all good. The whole time I felt his hands kneading my skin I kept thinking this was what I needed."