All characters are adults.
*****
Making changes and keeping the change.
It took me a while to do the math but I recently discovered women fuck around on their men (and women) to 'trade up,' so to speak. Often that starter fuck don't do the job nomore, and it's time to make a change and keep the change.
I'm not clear about what happened to bring on the uproar but the Usual Suspects went apeshit and started a riot downtown. The whole police force turned out for the fun. In the event I stood behind my boss, Glenna Beck, formerly Glenn Beck.
So there was screaming and yelling and pushing and shoving, and one of the assclowns got caught up in the fun and pulled out his shiv. Assclown was in front of Beck at the time, and bought an express ticket to heaven compliments of me. Jesus Fuggin Christ on roller skates!
The knife fell outta Sambo's hand and vanished during the 5 alarm 911 clusterfuck that followed. Plenty of cops saw the knife but not one assclown or Beck, either. I went home for an unscheduled vacation while the great minds wrestled with the problem. It's when I met Darla.
Darla Kilgore was a neighbor in the apartment next door to mine. She was married to Richie Cunningham or his twin brother. Darla worked at the Supercenter as a cashier, days. She was twenty-nine with shoulder length brown hair. Five-four tall, and over one-eighty pounds. Her average tits didn't yet sag, they and their fat nipples dangled. No kids as yet. She was your average plain jane, who wore thick glasses, and who found a husband. Richie worked at her store, overnights, stocking hardware. Maybe they met at the store, I can't remember what she told me.
I was outside cleaning my car when we collided. She was toting bags of groceries into her apartment, and struggling with a large bundle of water bottles. Twenty-four pint bottles is twenty-five pounds or so. Good neighbor that I am I carried them inside for her. Richie was at his mom's house helping out. But I got a cheery thanks for the help, and I went back to my car.
I got done a little before noon and went inside to fix lunch, a tuna fish sandwich with some chips and a Diet Coke. About the time I sat down to eat the doorbell rang. It was Darla. "Could you open this jar for me?"
"Had lunch yet?" I asked.
"I was making lunch. Tuna fish. But I can't open the relish jar."
I twisted the lid open. "Fix yourself a plate, there's some sangria in the fridge," I said.
We ate and talked about shit. She loosened up after a few glasses of the wine.
"Mind if I ask you a question?"
"Shoot," I said.
"What do you think of the online date sites?"
"You wanting to sell some pussy?" I asked.
"We need the money, and a friend said it's a good way to make quick cash."
"What's your old man say?" I asked.
"He doesn't know," she replied.
I pulled a hundred outta my wallet and put it by her plate. "Come see me if you ever wanna give it a whirl."
"I thought it paid more than that," she said.
"That's a deposit," I replied. "You get the rest after, not before."
"Richie works tomorrow," she said.
"C'mon over, if he is," I replied.
"Mind if I smoke?" She asked.
"Go ahead," I said.
"Lemme go get em," she said and left.
I used the time to fetch a couple of joints. She didn't return immediately but was gone fifteen minutes or so. She'd changed clothes.
"Richie called and said he's be home later, his mom wants him to stay for supper."
She pulled out a cigarette and I lit it.
"Can I ask you a personal question?"
"Shoot," I replied.
"Am I too fat?"
"Too fat for what?"
"You know, too fat for men to find attractive?"
"Depends on the man, Darla. Some men, especially the brothers, love big girls."
Darla smiled and said "You're very astute." I cocked my head to the side and she smiled again, "I do get a lot of attention from black men. Dating black men is a fantasy. Do white guys like big women?"
"Sure they do."
"What about you?"
"I'd like to sleep with you," I replied.
She seemed pleased. But there was more. Her eyes betrayed a warmth. "Yuh really think so? Am I sexy?"
" Hell yeah!' I added.
"Don't flatter me," she said, then shifted position a bit and leaned forward. Her cleavage was more obvious with the top and I was looking down it. She knew it and showed me plenty.
