Second foray. A multi-parter. I'm hoping to smother deficit of talent with volume. ; ) A little long I know, but more of a melodrama. That wont work unless you wring it out. Four parts probably, I'm still deciding where to place some of the breaks. But it's all finished so there should be no delays.
I'm Tim, and I was alone for holidays. I'm not rich but I'm pretty well off, certainly for a twenty-three-year-old, although that didn't keep me from being alone. My parents were on an Arctic cruise. They had always dreamed of taking one. My sister was at her hopefully soon to be husband's family's place. I was happy for them yet was feeling a little lonely. Actually, I was feeling desperately lonely, mostly because I had not in any way anticipated being alone for the holidays.
Earlier this year, about five months ago, my fiancé, Brenda, left me for my best friend, Andy. They had both talked to me about the other so much, that I was the one that noticed the trend and their overlapping interests telling them jokingly, "You guys have more in common with each other than you do with me."
I have rued myself for apparently being both prescient and influential. I watched their expressions at my words, receiving good and bad news. I noticed they both looked odd, like a light bulb went on. They looked at each other with shocked expressions and held each other's gaze just a bit too long before looking away awkwardly. Within two months they both came to me separately, both tearfully saying they didn't want to be around the other any longer. I figured this part out too. I stated quietly to each at the time, "Because you are in love with them."
"Yeah," was the same sheepish hurt answer from both. Then I made the same hurt sheepish response to both, "But you don't want to hurt me by being around the other and having those sparks ignite between you." And they didn't. I loved them for trying to look after me. But that's always been my job, looking out for others.
They didn't want to be tempted or let anything grow to the point of temptation. They weren't going to date or... anything, nothing at all in fact: no interaction whatsoever. Quite independently they both thought the best way to make sure a fire didn't start was separate the kindling and the matches, sort of a preemptive non-strike. I thought it was interesting they both came up with the same idea. They really did think alike, probably why I was drawn to both of them in the first place. Well to Brenda anyway, I have known Andy since we were little kids. Neither my girlfriend, nor my best friend knew how the other felt, as I was the only one that had spoken to either. But now all three of us were suppressed. One night I called them together, they were both shocked that the other was there. We met in my apartment where I lived with my fiancé, Brenda.
I told them that they were in love with each other. I told them I wanted them both in my life. I told them I trusted them both implicitly and I thought the way to deal with this was not to treat it like it was radioactive, but rather head on. I didn't want to jettison Andy out of our lives. I wanted to leave to let them talk it out. I wanted them to see how strong they thought it was. I told them I knew if it was going to be a problem then there would have to be a visitation schedule almost like I was a child of divorced parents. I thought getting it out in the open would lessen the desire as it removed the forbidden fruit element as well as having to hide it from me. You must understand I thought they both felt more strongly for me than for each other. I thought theirs was a borderline attraction.
If their attraction was still strong, we could come to an understanding of who would be where and when. I told them they were the two people closest to me in the whole world. I could not jettison either from my life completely. I explained I had known my best friend longer, but I was in love with my girlfriend, Brenda, which I described as a sensation, which joyfully continued to grow the longer I was with her. I told them it was terrible that this happened, but that we could all get over this chasm by being upfront, patient, and gracious.
I saw myself as the bridge over the chasm; that was sort of my function with our entire circle of friends. I also knew neither wanted to hurt me, so I volunteered to go pick up carry out. That way they could speak plainly to each other and clear the air without having to worry about my misinterpreting anything they said. I figured they would find out this was not as big a problem as they thought, and while awkward now, we would all have a big laugh about it in later years. They could hash that part out together. This way they could say what they needed to about me, or what they felt most awkward saying to each other, without me in front of them. I thought they would be done with that part by the time I returned, when we could figure out what we could do together or, if not, when Andy's "visitation times" with me would be, like a child of divorcing parents.
You can ask when I became the most idiotic excuse for a man in the universe? It's a fair question, one I asked myself for months. The pathetically simple answer was I didn't expect they really were more compatible with each other than with me. I never foresaw what was coming.
When I got back, they were gone. I tried calling them. I got a quick, "I will definitely call you later!" from my buddy, Andy, who sounded strange.
"Wait Andy, before you hang up; do you know where Brenda is? She isn't here either."
I could not help but hear the guilt in Andy's voice, "We, uh, are actually over at my folk's home. We are talking to my mom. You know my mom is a counselor. Uh, we thought we needed some insight."
"So, you are together?" I thought it was a simple question. Andy reacted like it was an indictment.
"What? No! I couldn't do that to you." Andy's guilt had shifted to panic.
I was confused by the turn of events, more so by my friend's response. Still the up-front person I asked the natural questions, "What are you talking about? Is Brenda there talking to your mom or not?"
"Yes, but... oh damn. I'm sorry man, I thought you meant... never mind. We are trying to figure this mess out."
"Well buddy, I'm glad you sought help, though I really thought that it wasn't that bad. I thought we would figure out some schedule where I could spend time with each of you separately over the coming holidays, since you guys don't want to be together in one place anymore. Do you want me to come over too? We can figure it all out together."
Andy sounded guiltily panicked again, "Uh, no. I mean mom sees that there is a lot going on here between us. We both love you man, but that means we have a big, a huge, damn, a rather monstrous problem to solve. Actually, no matter how we move forward we have one. We are sorry we ran off. We were... taking your advice. Sorry, we took it to the extreme. Uh, we knew you would be concerned with how things were going. We, ah, love you, man. We will see you tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?!"
"It's late."
