HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!
So, before we get into the meat of the story, I want to clear something up.
My wife (Kate) and I (Mike) do not have an open relationship. We are a monogamous couple when it comes to the relationship side of the house.
Physically, however, that's a different story.
We do have a lot of sex with a lot of different people. We have for years. But with the exception of a few instances where one of us just had to get it in (we each get one hall pass per year, but there have been a lot of years where only one or even neither of them gets used), neither one of us has ever had sex with another person outside of a threesome, a swap, or something else conducted entirely with both of us present.
I don't know if that legitimately clarifies our relationship status, but I figured I should put it out there at the top.
Now, we have had a LOT of fun in our bedroom. We do have a policy in our relationship where there's never a major imbalance in the dick-to-pussy ratio. It gets off by one or two from time to time, but I'm pretty pleased by the fact that after seven years of marriage and nearly nine years together total, we've managed to keep it even enough that my wife's had 202 dicks in her and I've had my dick in 199 women (it's only 198 pussies, because one was on her period but still needed a cock in her, so I fucked her ass until she was walking sideways).
The weird thing about that is that while my wife has had 202 dicks in her, she's never been double penetrated. Spit-roasted, yes, many, many times, with a dick in her mouth and another either in her pussy or her ass, but never double penetrated. And realistically, that has a lot to do with the fact that even though we're very adventurous and open-minded with our sex life, she didn't really get into anal until about a year ago. We had talked about it for a long time, but it wasn't until a week before our sixth anniversary that she mentioned (at last) that she'd be interested in giving it a shot.
Don't get me wrong, it's not as though I had been starved of anal sex. The one woman who I ass-fucked until she was walking sideways was not the only one of the 199 women who got my dick in her ass. As a matter of fact, she is one of 67. But this was a new ass to play with, one that I had been waiting to plunge into for most of a decade, so I found myself getting practically giddy when she said she'd be up for giving it a shot.
Of course, I don't think she was expecting me to provide her with a set of three increasingly larger jeweled buttplugs as an anniversary present a week later, but she certainly did find it amusing. That said, two nights later, when we were out walking our dog and she whispered, "Guess what I have in me right now," I almost came in my pants.
The unfortunate thing was that I wasn't going to get to set sail on the Anal Explorer right away, as I was about to head out of town for a seven week Marine Corps exercise. However, the flipside of that was that my wife would have a solid seven weeks to get her butthole ready for a seven inch long, five inch circumference anal probe.
(Side note: yes, it's actually seven inches long and five inches around. My wife measured it, along the top, and around the base, with a fabric tape measure while it was hard. And while some of you might be out there like, "Psssh, seven inches, that ain't that big," I have news for you. My dick size puts me in the 98
th
percentile of American men. It's only the rare elite that are actually bigger than me. Most of you out there claiming to have eight or nine inch dicks are, in short, full of shit, and you're contributing to women having a false sense of exactly how long six, seven, eight inches, etc., actually is. And those of you who actually are packing sizable Johnsons generally don't talk about it too much. But I digress.)
Well, the first night I got back from my exercise, I fucked her in the ass but good. Not only was she walking funny the next day, but I shot such a giant load in her butthole (seven weeks around a bunch of Marines in the field, precisely zero opportunities to jack it) that she said she was leaking cum for the next 24 hours.
And you know what? She liked it. She especially liked it when I fucked her pussy while she had her biggest butt plug in, or when I fucked her ass while she had a dildo up her pussy, but somehow, despite 23 other guys fucking her over the next year, we never got around to double penetrating her, and I remained the only man who had been in her asshole.
So I decided that for our evening threesome on our seventh anniversary, I was going to arrange for Kate to be double penetrated. And yes, I said evening threesome. We always have two threesomes on our anniversary -- one with another woman, the other with another man. We switch off which one is in the morning and which is in the evening each year, with the threesome with another woman being in the morning and with another man in the evening on odd years.
Ordinarily, when we have threesomes, we set them up together, through one of a few different (completely legal) online services designed to cater to the desires of people like us. However, for our anniversary and for our birthdays, we always arrange the other's threesome (or occasionally more-some). It hasn't backfired yet, and in fact, has, at times, had spectacular results, such as my last birthday, when I found myself with a 21 year old sorority chapter president on my dick and two of her sorority sisters getting fingered by each of my hands while my wife rode my face (eventually, all of them went for a ride on my tongue, my dick, and each of my middle fingers before I finally came all over Madame President's 34DDs). And of course, there was her birthday-before-last, when I got four guys to come over and join me in playing a game with her -- each of us would fuck her for sixty seconds at a time, with the one just out of her pussy jacking off and the other three either in her hands or her mouth. We kept rotating like this for a solid two hours before covering her in cum from her chin to her pussy.
Anyway, I generally try to target guys with dicks about the same size as mine, because my wife does physically have a fairly small pussy, and my dick tends to stretch it just about to its limit before it starts to hurt. However, if we were going to have a threesome where she got double penetrated, I wanted her to get the full experience, so I went searching for an acceptable guy in that top two percent.
Now, unfortunately, most guys with dicks in the top two percent of size tend to also be misogynistic assholes. I guess there's just something about walking around with a huge hog that leads men to be narcissistic and all-around pieces of shit, but I figured they couldn't all be like that. And when I found Jake on one of those apps I mentioned earlier, I figured I had hit the jackpot.
To look at him, the dude couldn't have been more different than me. He looked like a complete nerd in his profile picture, and indeed, that was borne out by his profile wherein he discussed his enjoyment of such entertainment as Dungeons & Dragons and Skyrim (no judgment from me, of course, as I may or may not have an original movie prop Darth Vader helmet from
Empire Strikes Back
in my office at home). And when I spoke to him over Zoom, he was very soft spoken and polite, and was quite candid about how he and his wife did have an open relationship and that it had done very good things for their marriage.
I immediately liked the guy, and fortunately, our conversation was genial enough that he didn't get weirded out when I asked to see his package. "My plan is for my wife to get double penetrated for the first time," I told him, "and I want her to get the full effect."
"Fair enough," he replied. "Give me just a minute to put something on and get it up to full display."
His video went blank, and when it came back up a minute later, there was a massive, glorious cock on my screen. He had to be nine inches long erect and at least six inches around. "Well, goddamn," I whistled. "That will do the trick."
