Authors notes:
#1 Except for the dog Bruno, this story is a work of fiction. Bruno lived a life that would have dovetailed perfectly with this story. I have attempted to create a different LW's tale by adding a story I hope would be interesting without the sex. Just don't opt out too soon; if sex is what you are looking for, sex is what you'll find about halfway into the story.
#2 All comments are welcome, those who love it, and those who hate it, especially if you can point out the problem. Unlike some writers, I never remove a comment. Just as the story is an example of my talent, the comment is an example of the commenter's abilities. They deserve for the world to see them at their best.
#3 Handyman Hank fans should keep an eye on the TABOO and MATURE categories. I seem to remember a young woman from his first story that might have to go in Taboo and I know many widows and divorcees who wouldn't quite qualify as a wife anymore.
#4 Rev. 1 is a correction of several errors pointed out by readers. Thanks.
HANDYMAN HANK Ch03
(Hank protects Bessie from murderous Hubby)
I woke up late that day. The digital clock on my nightstand glared "9:10" in large red numerals. It seemed to say, "Hey! Stupid, you forgot to set the alarm." I rolled out, grabbed up my pants and slipped my legs in them before I even sat up. "Damn!" I muttered under my breath, while I finished dressing. It was the first of April—April fool's Day and I was due to start a workshop on color TV service this afternoon in Charlotte. I'd have to shake my ass if I was going to finish everything I needed to do and make the three hour drive before 2 O'clock.
Fifteen minutes later I had completed the three s's, wolfed down a Little Debbie treat for breakfast, and was on my way to the shop. As I headed down Main Street, I wondered what the heck had happened; the town was crawling with cops of every stripe. Barney Fife, as our town cop was affectionately known, seemed lost among all the "County Mounties" and the SC Highway Patrol, who seemed to have a blue light flashing just about any place they could park a car.
I had to park around back and enter my shop by the back door. Thank God that Hal, my assistant, had a pot of hot coffee waiting. He started to say something, but I shushed him with a wave of the hand. Time enough for talk after I had my first cup of coffee. He never did get to tell me what was on his mind. I was still stirring in the sugar and cream, when Old Joe stumbled into my work area and grabbed my arm.
"Hank, I'se gots to see ya." I had never seen the old fella this upset. "Out here," he was pulling me toward the back door. "In ya truck," he said, "Dis is serious." He kept looking all around, like he expected the devil to jump out at him any minute.
"Ya remember dat fella my Bessie is married ta, doan ya?"
"Bubba Halftree? Damn right I remember him. That's one bad mutha." Bubba was the definitive badass from Jones Corner. Back before I enlisted in the Marines, he'd tried to kill his wife, Joe's second daughter, Bessie, and had succeeded in killing their young daughter. He'd managed to elude capture by disappearing into the Francis Marion Forest for three month, despite a full scale effort by South Carolina's finest. They finally decided he'd left the area and stopped looking.
That's where I got involved. A bunch of us guys, who hunted deer in the Forest, started picking up sign of someone camping in an area where we knew no one was supposed to camping. Just like a bunch of stupid ass seventeen year old boys, when someone said, "Lets us catch that fucker," we were all for it. We just knew we could show the dump cops how it's done, and so we planned our campaign. Damn if we didn't pick up his tracks and me and my buddy Larry were unlucky enough to spot him slipping through the woods late one afternoon.
We got within shotgun range before we yelled. "Hands up!" You should have seen the look on his face. With a curse, he turned tail and took off. Larry raised his gun to shoot him.
"No! He ain't armed." Stupid ass me always believed in giving a guy an even break, just like in the cowboy movies. I'm telling you, I've learned a lot since then, mostly in the jungles of Viet Nam. Anyway I took off after him and was right on his ass within about two hundred yards. He must have heard my footsteps, because he turned to face me and I barreled right into him, knocking him "ass over appetite."
He tried to put up a fight, but living in the woods, without proper nourishment, had taken a lot of his strength, and by the time Larry got there with our guns, I'd beat all the fight out of him. We enjoyed our fifteen minutes of fame, when we dumped him at the town's police station.
The trial was quick, once it finally started. He was found guilty as charged; the sentence—death in the electric chair. In today's world, that means he'd die of old age long before the bleeding hearts ran out of appeals. Still, I don't think I'll ever forget his words.
"I'll get out! They can't keep me in a pen, and when I do, I'm coming after every one of you sum bitches. I'll get you," he shouted, when they led him out after sentencing
He was talking to everybody, but he seemed to be looking directly at me. Shortly thereafter I joined the Marines. After a bunch of training, I found myself in Nam, part of the elite "Recon forces." For those who don't know, back then Recon was the Marine's answer to the Army's Green Beret, but I'm pretty sure we had it first. Anyway, they taught us how to kill a man just about any way you could think of, but my special skills seemed to be with a pistol and a knife.
When I came back, I hoped to never have to use one again, but given the state of our country, one never knows, so at least once a month, a bunch of us gather at an abandoned dirt pit outside of town and try to out lie and out shoot each other. I'm the only one that can throw a knife, so the guys keep begging me to show them how to do it.
"Well," Old Joe continued, "That son a bitch done broke out and he done kill de jury Fo'man, an now he headed dis way. Hank, ya gotta keep my Bessie outa 'is way til dey catch 'im. He done kill ma gran-youngin and now he coming fo ma Bessie." Old Joe was pitiful, the way he was begging, while tears flowed down his cheeks.