Things might have been fine, but we were both speakers at a club meeting, held at the school's gym that Friday night. It was in the middle of summer, and hot. I wore a dark dress so I wouldn't have to wear much underneath. Sam spoke at the beginning of the meeting, and I near the last. When I turned to go back to my seat on stage, I heard some laughter, when I sat, I felt the cold metal seat on my leg where the dress should have been covering it. A seam in the dress was completely open, I was furious at Sams latest 'gotcha'. I blasted him in front many people after the curtain came down.
The next day I convinced Ann to help in my next scheme, she didn't want to, but as she would be the designated driver she said "Okay."
We went swimming at the Gleasons, Saturday, I warned all of the wives not to stop to give Sam a ride home, no matter what, or else. Sam likes to swim and he still looks good in a suit. Late in the afternoon I got back into my clothes and told him we were leaving right now, no arguments. He had just gotten out of the pool and was dripping all over. I had him put a towel under him on the seat of my car. I knew most of the people there at the Gleason's would be leaving in a few minutes for an early dinner at another club in town. The Gleason's lived about two miles up a dirt road from the paved road.
We were on the dirt, about half way to the paved road when I said. "Sam, this won't do. You are going to ruin my seat on that side. I'll stop and you can dry off, I'll hand you your clothes." He didn't like the idea, but he said "Okay"
I gave him my mostly dry towel, and he took off his swimming trunks, standing on the side of the road, with the door open. I asked for the towel to put on the seat in case it was damp and reached in to the back for his clothes. As soon as he let go of the door to reach for his clothes, I stepped on the gas. Looking back at my husband, naked on the side of the road, nowhere to hide, and about thirty people in their cars about to drive by, I laughed. "Gotcha!" I cried.
Ann had a change of his clothes in her car, she would wait until everyone had left and then pick him up. That was her part of the deal.
The phone was ringing when I got home, The sight of Sam, standing on the side of the road, thumb and other things sticking out, began to trickle in. One call wasn't about Sam, and I was instantly ashamed. While the school staff were setting up for a kids show, they found a long string of thread hooked into the chair, the one where I had been setting on stage Saturday. Sam had nothing to do with my 'wardrobe malfunction'.
I expected Ann to drop off Sam in a half hour or so. It was nearly two hours later when he came in. He didn't say anything, other then "Hi Jo, I think it's my turn to fix dinner."
I set our table, then called Ann from the other room. "Ann, what happened? Why did it take you so long?"
"Hi Jo... Ah, my car wouldn't start when it was time to leave. Poor Sam, he was trying to walk on the rough gravel, out to the main road. He wasn't making any effort to cover up. You should have at least tossed him his shoes. I really think you should stop this nonsense Jo."
I agreed, then I told her about the chair, and it hadn't been Sam's fault. Ann sounded really upset with me. Sam called that supper was ready, so I said goodbye.
Sam didn't say a word about my 'gotcha' today. I was really starting to regret what I had done. Most of the people that had passed him were leaders of the community. I really didn't know how to start to say 'I'm sorry' over this one. I started to feel really guilty when I found that as I watched TV, He had moved all of his stuff out of our bedroom into the spare room.
Over the next week, Sam became a hero, especially to the men in town. He had stood naked in front of many people, outwardly as calm and unembarrassed as a real man could. I lost many friends, or at least acquaintances over that stunt. Most said I had gone to far. I had to agree with their assessments.
Sam wouldn't talk to me about anything other than store business, He went down town this morning, I was totally shocked when the Sheriff served me the divorce papers. I marched downtown to see what was going on, I thought this was Sam's return 'gotcha', and just a prank. The judge said. "I'm sorry Jo, these are legal documents, I suggest you go upstairs and get a lawyer."
In a small town like ours, with a very low crime rate, things move quickly in the court system. In two weeks I was divorced, on the grounds of public humiliation of my spouse. It was an old law, meant usually for the wife, but it was there. There was a six month waiting period, but Sam left me with the store, and went to work for the school system as a procurement officer. He purchased the supplies the school needed.
Ann moved in with him, they have and old 'fixer-upper' on the other side of town. I lost the store to creditors, after a Wall-Mart opened up twenty miles away, I now work in the diner on the corner as a cook.
I talk with Ann, we are still friends. Sam and her have a very satisfying sex life from what she tells me. The town is changing, modernizing. I live with a mechanic now, He was rough on me at first, he wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. I now perform all of the sex acts, and positions that Sam used to try to get me to do. Oh, what a fool I have been, I now crave sex, but it's always Sam's face I see when I close my eyes.