This last couple of weeks has been total bull shit. My relationship with my wife has been getting bad like an infection. Reflecting back, it seems to have changed big time when she started dieting in April of this year. Actually, she would just skip meals. She has always hated exercise. So I guess she figured to just not eat. She has a strong will and I loved that about her. But now? I had tried a couple of times to talk to her. That just pissed her off and then she would freeze me out for the week.
Lately, she was bringing work home all the time or working late. Leaving me to do 70 percent of the household stuff. That applied to the kids as well. I worked 50 hours a week. But I sucked it up like a good hubby.
The kids and I settled into a weekly pattern of being the primary family. We would do pizza night, go to movies, and take an adventure on the weekend. We would go camping, hiking, biking, and water parks. We were total adrenaline junkies during the summer. Most of the time their mom would say she couldn't go.
My wife Joan is 39 years old. The years have not been kind to her. She was constantly complaining about her grey hair, wrinkles, her shoulder, her eyesight just to name a few. Even with the weight loss and the hair coloring, I think she is looking worse.
My name is Chip. Aging has been much more kind to me. Although my arthritis and knee injuries have slowed me down a tad. I'm 40, but friends think I look 30. A buddy of mine calls me Highlander.
"You never get older! There can only be one!"
My wife on occasion has been asked if I was her son. First time it was funny. The second...uhm, not funny.
The kids are great. Chip's off the old block! Ha! My daughter Michele is 16. My son Kixx is 14. Both are smart and exceptional at sports. They seem to have the best of everything from me and Joan.
Joan went to bed early tonight after taking a sleep aid. She said she was exhausted. At first I was concerned that she was sick with strep or something. The kids were at their friends house for sleepovers. My mind wandered trying to figure out this puzzle of my lonely marriage and what to do with this evening.
With time to kill I was going to watch Thor Ragnarok.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh ah! We come from the land of the ice and snow..."
I went to the kitchen to fix a Malibu rum and coke for the movie. Then I noticed something. When Joan gets tired she tends to drop her stuff wherever and then asks me what she did with it. That would explain why her phone was in the kitchen by her prescription of sleeping pills. Hmmmm. Her boyfriend the phone. All alone and defenseless.
Screw this! I was going to search her phone and see if I can get to the bottom of this.
I decided to look at her Facebook messenger first. I figure she is too smart to put anything in texts and she knows I rarely use Facebook much myself.
She on the other hand was on Facebook all the time. I scan for her best friends name Laura. I pop open what looks like a very long running thread with Laura.
My stomach drops, I can't even believe what I'm reading. Seriously, five minutes and I now know what has been going on.
She has been planning the last year to divorce me. Apparently stashing money, vetting attorneys, and plans on dating.
I went back to August 2016 where it seemed to start.
"I love him. He's a great father. But I don't think I'm in love with him. He wants to do sports and he gets hurt all the time. He wants to get a old Charger, I think. Oh I don't remember what kind of car. He likes to BBQ and hot tubs. And he is always wants to do things with the kids like mountain biking or camping. What kind of man is that? He's a big kid. I want to go to dinner parties and to meet interesting people. I like eating out at nice restaurants like I do when I travel for work. We just want different things."
It appears she is going to drop it on me right before Labor day weekend. Crap! That's right around the corner.
Two qualities about me are coming into play now. I have very little patience when backed into a corner and I'm a very effective strategic problem solver. My plan was pinballing in my head. I would strike first and often over the next 3-4 weeks. She gave me a great playbook with that list of things she didn't like about me. What was sad is this was who I was and what attracted her to me. There was real disrespect and anger in these messages. Well she can fuck right off!
My first move would be a new car. This was make her furious. She always has a panty twist about the cars we buy.
I currently drove a Highlander. I know! But it was great for transporting the kids and their friends to sports and events. But not what I wanted. I always wanted a bad ass Jeep.
Saturday I had to take the kids to some games in the afternoon. But my morning was wide open. That which does not kill me, makes me stronger bitch.
It was going to be hard to sleep tonight.
I still watched the movie and probably had too many rum and cokes.
Saturday I got up and out of the house at 8am. Joan would be out of commission till probably 9-10am. I was firing on 6 out 8 cylinders. Ugh.
I went to the gas and sip and grabbed a large iced coffee and Advil. Then headed to the YMCA and upgraded my membership. I just used the Ymca for the weekly basketball league I played in. Now I would use the gym. When the kids didn't need me, I would have a legit reason why I wasn't home. I was in pretty good shape, but I would like to get more definition in my chest and arms.
The gym will really mind fuck her. She can be one jealous bitch. But who fucking cares? I'm taking this thing to DEFCON 4 by Labor Day!
The rest of the morning I spent at the Jeep dealership and bought a 2017 fire cracker red Wrangler. I think I'll get some rims to juice it up some more. It was about 1:45 pm when I arrived home.
I walked in and found everyone was in the kitchen. The kids were eating and looking at their phones. My dear wife was at the breakfast counter on her computer. Probably Facebook. She had her resting bitch Facebook on.
"Hey guys."
"Hey Dad."
"You guys have your gear ready for your games?"
Both said they were all set. Joan didn't say anything. As we got ready to go my wife decided to speak. What loving words would she say?
"Can you buy some of my ice tea while your out?"
"Sure."
On the inside I'm flipping her a double birdie!
We headed out to the driveway and the kids were confused looking for the Highlander. I had a huge smile on my face.
"Guys over here. I bought the Jeep this morning."
"Awesome Dad! This is sick."
"Mom is going to freak! But I'm glad you bought it. Wow!
I bounced back and forth equally between the kids games. Chel was done first and we went to get Kixx. The kids lined up their plans with there friends tonight via text. Time to feed the beasties.
We had great time and enjoyed some awesome stir-fry. The kids verbally battled over who would get the Jeep when they were old enough to drive. I joked with them.
"Ha! There will be only one. And it's mine!"
On the way home I did not stop for Ice tea. That was a battle of will power for me. Part of me still wanted to take care of my wife. The force was strong with me this day!
We rolled in the house like a herd of buffalo at about 6:30 pm. The kids scrambled to get changed so they could head back out. With it being summer, they can stay out later as long as I know where they're at. They're really goods kids.
So was I though. I pulled some stunts when I was 16. The sleepover was a perfect time to sneak out an push start my buddies car for an evening of rocking out and crusing for girls. Shit! I should really start spot checking on Chel.
Joan wasn't home. But she left a note. Said she went to Laura's and would be back later.
