Although this is not technically a cheating wife story, if you do not enjoy reading about cheating wives, this will be close enough that you may just want to pass on it. I do not believe she was cheating; she was simply enjoying what I had given her permission to enjoy. The only difference in our interpretation of "our" agreement was a little matter of timing, I had given her my permission, even encouragement, to enjoy another man sexually, but with the understanding that she must tell me everything about it "afterwards". Since her affair continued on for years, and is continuing even today, in her mind, she never reached the point of "afterwards" thereby relieving her of the responsibility to report what she had been doing. At least not as of three weeks ago, when an event occurred that led to full disclosure.
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Perhaps a little background would be in order. My name is Bill, and my wife is Samantha. We are both in our early fifties, and have been married for thirty-three years. We have three boys, all grown and through college, two of which are married and have children of their own. My wife has always been a head turner, with vital statistics of 115 lbs, 36B, 24, 36 when we were married and before children. Today, she is about 130 lbs, with firm 36C breasts that can pass a pencil test, and with a little extra padding in all the right places. She maintains a firm tone in her body that comes from daily workouts at the gym. She has aged so very well, and is in many ways sexier today than ever before. I have made an excellent living, we are very comfortable, and we enjoy each others company. Our sex life has diminished over the years, and that "blue pill" certainly was a wonderful discovery. However, I never would have believed this could happen to me.
Early on in our marriage, we would enjoy ourselves as we made love together, and as we shared and explored our fantasies together. After a few years we began discussing while in the heat of the moment the idea of Samantha having another man. She was a virgin when we were married, and had never experienced anyone else. She would talk about the fantasy, but in a cooler, calmer moment, express her commitment to me, and how she did not want to be with anyone else. On one level this was very reassuring, and yet I longed for what I felt would be a wonderful experience for both of us if she were to experiment with another man. The way we left it was that she was free to have sex with another man of her choosing, but that she must tell me ALL about what happened when it was over.
Throughout the years, we often fantasized together about what she would do with another guy, and she would tell me stories that I believed were to turn me on during love making. I would also give her ideas, which she would then relate back to me for our enjoyment during sex. This was not one sided, for I would also share fantasies with her, for her enjoyment. She was fantastic at making the stories sound so very very real. Samantha had been brought up in a very strict home, and she believed deep down that husbands only want "good" girls, and that the fantasies were ok as fantasies, but not something that any husband would want in real life. How could he, since husbands wanted only "good" girls, not sluts or tramps.
Our youngest son, John, was hospitalized three weeks ago after a car accident. He needed surgery for some internal bleeding that was occurring and I offered to donate blood directly to him so that he would not be subject to the vagaries of the blood supply system. It was this odd event that brought to light a surprising situation; I never suspected anything; I never even dreamed that my wife would be as involved as she was. You see, the hospital informed me after taking the blood tests, that I was not the biological father of my third son. I asked if they were sure, and they assured me they had run the tests twice since the results were what they were.
Samantha and I have been married 33 years and I had only fantasized about her and other men, never believing that it could have happened, she was just too much of a "good" girl. I was not jealous, after all, sex is sex, and if she shared sex with another, it didn't detract from what we shared. We had always connected at a deeper level and were true soul mates. I guess to a large degree, I had become so involved with our fantasies that it no longer matter if they were real or not real. On one level, I really wanted them to be real. Now I had uncovered the reality that at least one of them, her getting pregnant by another man had already happened. My only wish was that she had shared this with me earlier, after all, that had been our agreement.
My wife was standing with me as the nurse told us the results, and she turned white, knowing her secret was now out. The hospital staff left us alone, and neither of us said anything to the other. We were both just thinking private thoughts. My mind was filled with questions. How could this be? How come I haven't known of this before? Was I blind? How did Samantha let this happen? How many men has she been with that I knew nothing about? Why me? Why her? Why now? After a few minutes of silence, Samantha started to break down and cry. She didn't say anything, but I could tell she was hurting, and I put my arm around her to let her know that together, we would get through this latest turn of events.
She buried her head on my shoulder as she sobbed, and held me tightly. I asked her why she was crying, why she hadn't shared this with me earlier. Her response was so typical of her, she said she always wanted to be a "good" girl for me, and now the illusion was destroyed. She had no idea whether or not I would continue loving her and that she was truly scared for us. My love for her overwhelmed me and I told her I had always wanted a "bad" girl in the bedroom, thinking about our shared fantasies, and that she should not worry, but that we did indeed need to talk. There was clearly an issue of communication that we needed to clear up. Our first priority at the moment however, was John.
The doctors told us John's surgery went well, and so after staying with him until visiting hours were over we headed home. In the car, I asked her to tell me what had happened, and why she had never shared anything about this before. Did she know I was not his father? Why didn't she tell me? I was calm, and truly wanted to know what had happened, and how big the chasm was between us. Since she obviously had been with another guy, at least once, why had she not shared that with me per our agreement? It was after all, my deepest fantasy.
After a long pause, she began telling me her story. She said that she had dreaded this day since about two years before John was born. She knew that after her affair ended, she was duty bound to share with me everything that had taken place between her and her friend. At times, that very thought had kept her in the affair simply because she was not ready to share what had happened with me. She had no idea how I would really react when it was no longer fantasy, but that I was indeed married to a "bad" girl. She wrote things down as it had happened in her journal, so she could read it again and again and keep the memories fresh. Her diary was at home, and she said the best thing at this time, if I truly wanted to know everything, was for me to read it.
She cautioned me that it was erotic, exotic, raw, emotional, filled with ups and downs and left nothing to the imagination, and was I absolutely sure that I wanted to know. She said that she was so very deeply in love with me, and didn't want anything to change between us. We were comfortable, we were more than compatible, we were soul mates, and we had an ever increasing family to share and enjoy together as we aged. She left the decision up to me as to whether I would read the journal, or let it go.
She also told me that if I read her diary, I would never again think of her as a "good" girl and that if a "good" girl was truly what I wanted in a wife, I should just forget what happened today, and we could go on with our lives as though nothing had happened. Her affair was going on the 24th year and was NOT over. She also added that if I did read her diaries, she would abide by whatever decision I made as to whether or not I wanted her to terminate the affair, but also as a condition of her telling me and sharing the details with me, no matter what happened, I had to agree in advance not to leave her. No divorce, no changing of my mind, no public discloser of what had already happened, no telling the children, etc. This would now be between her, him and me.
She warned me that if the situation was reversed, she could not continue staying with me because of the intensity of feelings I would have had for the other woman. (This statement sent shivers down my spine.) But since I had encouraged her to have another lover, perhaps I could live with it, and would perhaps even enjoy it, the ecstasy and pain of her adventures. She understood my mindset all too well, this was beyond any fantasies that we had shared before, but was a real life situation, with a child to prove it. I was hooked and needed to read and hear about her ongoing affair, what they did, how it started, why it started, and everything else I could find out about her secret life. Yes there would be pain, but also that true cuckold angst, that I had always fantasized about, but never until today experienced. Nothing could have prepared me however for the truth of the situation and the emotions that would be shared between us.
We stopped for dinner along the way, and as we went in, she asked that we not talk about it anymore until I had completely made up my mind on her offer. The meal was excellent, and we celebrated that John was going to be ok, and that we were connecting at a deeper level than in the past. It was almost as though an unknown weight had been lifted from Samantha's shoulders, and we were now freer than ever to just savor our friendship and love.