Intermezzo/Interlude (Flowers):
I placed the fresh flowers in the cemetery vase near my mother's grave. Then stood silently, eyes closed, trying to bring an image, a visual memory of her, close enough to feel her here. At least in my mind.
She was way too young to have died, and if things had been different, I'm certain she would have had the strength to beat the cancer. Yes, I know she made a very bad decision a long time ago that may have indirectly led to this. But she more than paid the price.
What wasn't fair was that the instigator, the real villain of the piece, was living long and prospering. With eyes still shut, I made a promise, a vow, to my mother, my mother who could no longer hear me. That man who caused all this was not going to get off scot-free. I was going to make him pay for what he did.
FEBRUARY SUCKS - SATANIC MAJESTIES
I was perfectly positioned to execute my mission. After all, Marc LaValliere and I were colleagues. Sort of. Though I'm pretty sure I wasn't one of his favorite people.
Of course, he'd had a long and storied football career. It was only after his retirement that he entered the announcers' booth. Although he would never have the same impact behind a microphone that he'd enjoyed on the gridiron, nevertheless he did become an on-air fixture, his on-field exploits having given him the credibility to back up his color commentary,
My situation was different, as you probably know. When my high school baseball success got me a free ride to LMU, my dad and I liked to talk about going all the way to the show. Neither of us really believed it. We were both realists. But it was a fun dream.
So I started off following that fun dream. I took a variety of classes, not sure of what I wanted for a major. My main focus that first year was baseball. The playing season began in the winter quarter, and I quickly made the starting lineup. Dad and Mom came down to see me play, and it was great to hang out together. Different from when I lived at home, but the same, too. If you know what I mean.
The spring term came after that, and that's when I discovered the campus TV program. And found my major, and what would become my destiny.
LMU has a first-rate media department, equipped with a top-of-the-line broadcasting studio. Like my dad, I've always been a Plan B kind of guy. I still wanted to play. But I also loved the idea that if it didn't work out, if there was no big league chew in my future, I would still have something equally exciting to fall back on.
Then, in my sophomore year, both worlds came together. It started with me spending most of my free time at the production studio during the fall. I learned how all the equipment worked, and a lot about mic technique. Having acquired this new skill set, I now believed that I could become a sports announcer if my playing career hit a wall. And even if I went all the way, there'd still be a great career waiting for me after retirement.
When the baseball season started up again in the winter quarter, I wanted both - to play and announce. And came up with a crazy thought. Why not do both at once?
I ran this idea by Dad, and he thought it was genius. I was getting to see him a lot by then, because he'd left his longtime job to go into business with an art dealer in Nashville who he and Mom had run into when they visited the previous year. This meant that he was in the area from time to time. I also got to meet his business partner, Jeanie Masters, who apparently had been his secretary years before when she lived in our hometown. She's an enthusiastic and boisterous personality, and also encouraged me to try this new concept out. She was even more positive about it than Dad.
So I went for it. My teachers and the department head thought it was worth a try, so I got outfitted with a wireless wrap-around mic like singers use. That way I could broadcast live while I was playing! The sound could get a little funky if it was windy when I was out on the field, but was almost always clear as a bell when I was in the dugout. And the immediacy of it made up for any sonic shortcomings.
I quickly became a campus sensation. The player/broadcaster. Straight A's in my production classes. Starting lineup every day. Success in one fed success in the other. The best of both worlds.
By the time I was in my third year, what I was doing had gotten written up in the local papers. I started getting offers from minor league teams in the area. They wanted me to play and announce for them like I was doing at school. Dad and I agreed that I should only do this when I wasn't otherwise occupied with college. It still made sense to finish and get that degree. There'd be plenty of time for professional baseball and sportscasting later.
While all this good stuff was happening, though, the family I grew up in split apart. Dad and Jeanie got drunk one night after signing the world's greatest painter, had sex, and Jeanie got knocked up from that one night. They'd become close friends already, and Dad decided to divorce Mom and marry Jeanie.
That sounds pretty bad. But here's the rest of the story. Twenty-three years earlier, Dad and Mom had been out one night with friends, and Mom had gone off with a famous football player (Marc LaValliere) for a night of sex. Dad was shattered, but in the end decided to stay in the marriage for the sake of my older sister, Emma, and my older brother, Tom, who were just 6 and 4 at the time. And because of that decision, I exist.
So the idyllic childhood family I enjoyed, as did Emma and Tom, was not all that it appeared. Mom and Dad never told any of us about this incident, so we had no idea. Until this thing with Jeanie came up, and Dad told me the entire story, and later did the same for Tom and Emma.
Mom was pretty unhappy about all this when it went down, as you'd expect. But she had little choice but to accept that her life with Dad was done. She probably always felt guilty about that one night out of time, and so came to believe this was her just punishment. It wouldn't be the last time she accepted a bad fate as her due.
Anyway, Jeanie became part of my life, and at least I got to see Dad full time, since he now lived in Nashville with Jeanie and their baby boy, Jason. She'll never be Mom, but she is a warm person, who loves Dad's kids unconditionally, just as she loves him. She also had a son from her first marriage, Bobby, who was 27 when I met him. Bobby and I have grown to be real good friends.
One other thing. Jeanie has a lot of connections. She's decorated the homes of several famous musicians with artwork, and representing the world's most famous artist keeps Dad and her in some pretty elite circles. So by the time I graduated, she and Dad were able to get me to the right people. The result being that I actually made it to the show within a couple years, as a player/broadcaster. I don't know that I would have gotten there if it had been solely for my baseball abilities. But the combination of player and announcer live from the game was compelling enough that I landed with the Braves to do both.
And this made me the absolute hottest thing in sports broadcasting. In my mid-twenties, making the biggest of bucks. And I was not alone in this. Jeanie was already loaded when Dad and Mom met her, and that was before she and Dad landed Amanda and Rafe. So they were soaring higher and higher.
My big brother Tom was up there, too. He and his wife Grace had moved out to California after he got his masters, to start up an apps company with a couple of friends from school. They struggled for a few years, but payday had come in. The company was a success, and they were making some pretty big tech money.
The only family members who weren't living in the stratosphere were Mom and Emma. And neither was poor. Dad had been more than generous to Mom when he divorced her. Although he loved Jeanie more, he still had some love left for Mom, despite what she had done to him earlier. And I think he probably also felt some guilt about dumping her. Anyway, he gave her our family home and a shitload of money upfront, so she would be financially independent the rest of her life. As for Emma, she and her husband Chase were dual income. He's an engineer, and she's a freelance management consultant. She has to be freelance because they have two children. But they weren't hurting, either.
And then Mom got sick. Uterine cancer isn't always immediately fatal, but it was in her case. Within a year, she was gone. Most of us didn't even know how bad it was until right before the end.