An ounce of fierce effort prevents a pound of troubles
!
This is yet another story that joins the February Sucks Universe. My admiration goes to George Anderson whose original story was among other stories posted that day. Since then it has become the most written plot-line in Lit history! I am one of the few remaining LW authors who has not done a February Sucks story, but not not anymore! I thought this story up while running errands.
However, I do understand that LW is the worst and most challenging category to write in. I always receive constructive criticism. Since I write for free, troll comments will be cheerfully refunded and deleted. I turned off scoring for this story since it's one of a plethora of Feb Sucks stories which makes scoring irrelevant. Now on to the story of our hapless hero Jim.
My lovely bride Linda and I looked into each other's eyes with the looks of two people still in love after 15 years of marriage. I asked her to the Homecoming Dance 19 years ago, and we've been together ever since. A cliché relationship story of the multi-sport athlete and the cheer captain turned out to be not doomed, but rather a story of eternal love and devotion. She was mine and I was hers.
That being said, it irked me to have to hang out with my wife's morally ambiguous friends. They were of the upper middle class, but their demeanor was that of the trash. Dee and her friends were the worst with their sexual innuendos and alleged swapping. The exceptions were Dee's husband Dave plus Phil and Ann.
The supper and dancing was a happy affair. I was about to tell Linda that it was time to go to our hotel when Dee shouted, "IT'S HIM. MARK LAVALLEMERDE!"
Everyone at our table stared at the superstar pro tight-end with two of his teammates and a couple of minimally attired sluts. In his white three piece, he looked like a reject from a Saturday Night Fever remake. They took their seats, except for Mark who stood scanning the room. I never cared for professional sports. Pro athletes are narcissistic overpaid jerks. I prefer high school and college sports.
"He's looking around trying to pick his girl for the night. I hope it's me!" Dee gushed. I thought it odd that Dave reacted poorly to his wife's statement.
"What do you mean by that?" Phil asked.
"Mark always picks a married woman to bed for the night. He's done it over a hundred times I heard. The feedback has been he's a hot sex sex machine with a huge dick and he knows how to use it!" Dee said excitedly.
"That's disgusting and immoral!" Ann said in disapproval.
"You wouldn't say that after spending a night with Super Mark," Dee taunted her.
I turned to Linda and whispered, "Time to go honey. Time to celebrate our 15
th
Anniversary alone in our honeymoon suite."
"Yessss! He's walking this way! I hope he picks me!" Dee said hopefully. Dave's reaction was one of irritation.
Just then, I saw the big guy standing between us. Mr. Superstar himself. He took my wife's hand and said with a smarmy smile, "You are the most beautiful and sexiest woman in this club. Would you like to dance with me, sweetheart?"
The loving look my wife had been giving me easily morphed into a look of intense lust as she stared mesmerized into the eyes of my new enemy. What the hell was going on? Linda had never given any man a look like that before, even me! She began to rise out of her seat. Was she planning to be with this piece of shit for the rest of the evening? Fuck that!
I grabbed her upper arm and yanked her back down onto her seat.
"Sit your ass back down! And you can piss off Marky," I roared.
Both Linda, the scumbag, and everyone at the table were in shock. People at the other tables were looking at us. I had never before demonstrated physical action and foul language. I was always the quiet, polite, intellectual type. Now I seemed to be a brutish caveman which I had no problem being if my world was under attack. The years I spent as an Army officer overseas made me one perhaps. So sue me!
"You insecure asshole! Let Linda go! You don't own her. Mark picked her to be his woman of the night! He'll bring her back tomorrow," Dee hissed.
"That's where you're wrong, mega-slut! She belongs to me as I belong to her. Our wedding vows said so. Now get your ugly, fat face out of our business," I yelled.
"Hey little man, my name is Mark. Be respectful or else! No need to have a baby tantrum. I just want to dance with your hot wife. I promise I'll bring her back tomorrow sometime. Now you be chill and you won't get hurt too much," Mark growled. To emphasize the point, he squeezed my shoulder and that did hurt. Quite a grip!
I am a 5'11, 195 pound man, and an Army Vet who played high school football a bunch of years ago, about to get into altercation with a 6'3, 240 pound pro-football player. I was going to have to play this smart. Plan-Fight-Win.
"STOP HOLDING ME, YOU ANIMAL! MARKIE GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE I KICK YOUR ASS!" I roared. As I was yelling, the white wine that I was holding was discretely thrown into his crotch. Marky took a few steps back in surprise at the chilled stain on his crotch. Then an extremely dark look swept across his face.
"HEY EVERYONE, I MADE MARKY LAVALOSER PISS HIS PANTS! HE'S SCARED OF ME!"
"I'M GONNA MURDER YOU!" Marky roared.
As he lunged towards me, he saw the dinner knife in my left hand pointed at his crotch, and he tried to stop his movement. He looked comical with his right fist drawn back, his torso bent forward 45 degrees, and the knife tip touching his most valuable asset which certainly wasn't his brain.
There were blurs of movement to the sides of us. It was the bouncer Hank, the manager-owner Tony, and the police officer doing moonlighting for the club. As they pulled Marky away from me, I flipped the knife under the table. Marky's two jumbo-sized teammates stood off to the side telling him to calm down. Marky hit Hank in the face, then the cop and Hank took Marky to the floor and cuffed him. That seemed to calm Marky down. I guess he just realized that he was in some criminal trouble right now.
Tony, my high school buddy, took me to the side, "Jim, you okay?"
"My shoulder hurts where grabbed me. Otherwise, I guess I'm okay. I'm sorry about all this. I hope nothing bad happens to you because of this incident."
"Nah, I'm the majority owner. I'm banning that asshole permanently, something I should have done months ago. He's busted up four marriages here, but he never did anything violent until now. My club doesn't nee the aggravation or adverse publicity. I'm comping drinks and meals for you and the missus."
Officer Williams came up to me and asked for my story. I told him that Marky grabbed me and threatened me. I forgot to mention the dinner knife. He asked if I was injured, so I took off my coat and shirt. There were bruises on my shoulder from where he grabbed me. The officer took a picture of the injury. The officer said that Marky told him that I tried to stab him with a knife. I said I don't remember that. The officer went over to the table and counted knives on the table. One knife per person on the table. Dave smiled at me as he held a knife in his hand.
"Okay sir, I need you to come to the station tomorrow morning to sign a complaint and make a statement. I am arresting Mr. Lavallemerde for two counts of assault, disturbing the peace, disorderly conduct, and resisting arrest. Have a good evening."
Two more officers had shown up and walked Marky out of the club so Marky could get his free trip to a jail cell. I walked back to the table and looked at everyone. Linda look like she was in shock. Dee looked like she wanted to explode. I nodded at Dave.
"It's time for us to go. I wish I could say it was a delightful weekend, but I would be lying if I did," I said sarcastically.
As Linda grabbed her coat and purse, Dee shrieked at me, "You....YOU....YOU TINY-COCKED INSECURE ASSHOLE! MARK IS A THOUSAND TIMES BETTER THAN YOU. IT'S YOUR INSECURE CHILDISH ATTITUDE THAT GOT MARK IN TROUBLE. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!"
