I opened the front door and stepped through it to leave, acting as if I never heard her. I wanted to rip the goddam door off the hinges and shove it up both their asses.
The door was almost closed behind me when I decided I had had enough of her shit. I gripped the handle and twisted it. I slammed the door back open and stormed back into the living room. I walked into the living room to confront her. My face must have read,
I am going to kill the both of you
.
I had been smart enough to turn on my camera on my cell phone to record what was about to happen. By doing this, I would protect myself against false allegations, or I would have had proof for the police that I killed them both. At that moment, I didn't care how it turned out.
They sat on the couch terrified, "Fuck you, Katrina!" I yelled. I've had enough of your shit. These kids don't need a fucking babysitter. They can watch themselves, and you know it. We are going back to the court-ordered parental visitation agreement. I apologized to you and took my medicine like a man. But no, you want me to see you with him and rub it in my face. That is just plain cruel, and you're a better person than this.
I will not let you treat me like a piece of shit any longer. I am beginning to believe I did it subconsciously because you have always been a Psycho bitch! I didn't see it clearly then because I was just too blinded by my love for you.
I was thinking. You have moved on so easily from the divorce. I think it's about time I did too. I have been getting calls from Diana Townsend. She wants to come over and make me banana pudding with VANILLA! Fucking WAFERS! And give me some company." I knew this would piss off Katrina. She despises her.
Diane was a widow of a friend of mine. Her husband was killed in Iraq a few years ago. On more than one occasion, Diana made it clear she was interested in me, even in front of Katrina. Diana had been drinking too much at the time, trying to dull her pain. I made sure I always acted like a gentleman around her because I knew she was hurting from her loss.
Katrina turned beet red, stood up to come at me. I starred at her and hissed, "Katrina, I wouldn't do that again. I am taping this time. You could end up in jail this time. And I will get the kids." She stopped dead in her tracks.
I then burst out laughing, "You have got to be kidded me!" Looking over at her lover boy, he was cowering behind Katrina.
"Katrina," I shook my head as I laughed, "There are over 1000 Jody's on the base. Any one of those would be more man than he is."
I felt an inner peace and calm come over me that I had not felt in a long time. I knew I would be all right. I smiled and turned to walk out. And for some reason, I do not know why but I started whistling an Irish tune. When I got to my car, I tried to put my hands in my pocket for my keys. That's when I realized I had been so mad I twisted the doorknob off the door. It was still in my hand.
The next evening I took Diana out to dinner. I told her I just needed someone to talk to, and nothing would happen between us. She disappointingly agreed. I took her to the officers club on base. I didn't even think about Katrina when I did it. But from what I heard through the rumor mill, Katrina went nuts when she found out. Too fucking bad.
A couple of weeks later, I got another text from her. I missed my kids. What can a man do? That evening I heard her walk up behind me. As I washed the dishes, Katrina asked, "What do you think?"
I turned and gasp. "Great!" was all I could get out of my mouth.
"Good, I'm planning on giving him my ass tonight," she informed me.
"Well, good luck!" I replied and turned around to finish the dishes. I could hear her snort as she walked out. I was glad she left so she couldn't see my eyes watering up.
She hadn't called in a month after that night. Then out of the blue, I received a text, "David, I have an emergency. Can you please stay with the kids Friday night? Bring your stuff. You will need to stay the night."
Well, at least she is saying please and using my first name instead of my cheating ex-husband or asshole.
I arrived Friday night and asked the kids if they wanted to order Pizza. Mike said he has a date, and Abby informed me that she was going to a movie. Afterward, Abby will be going out to eat with her best friend Karen and her family.
"By the way, Dad, look in the kitchen. Mom made something for you," Abby informed me with a smile.
I walked into the kitchen and saw it sitting there. I froze. I just stared at it. A few minutes later, Abby walked by as she was heading out the door. "What's the matter, Dad?"
"Do not move, it might go off," I warned Abby. "I think I am going to have to call the bomb squad or maybe poison control."
"Daaaad, that's ridiculous. Mom would never do that. Let me show you." Abby went to the silverware drawer and retrieved a large spoon. She then dug into the middle of it and moved it around, "See Dad, No bombs."
"You taste it first," I told her, laughing. "I figure she would poison me but wouldn't take a chance on one of you of tasting it."
Abby brought the spoon up to her mouth and licked it. "Dad, your right, It's poisoned. Let me take this with me to Karen's, and I'll throw it away." Abby tried to keep a straight face when her lips turned up, and she burst out laughing.
I grabbed the bowl from her, "You aren't going anywhere with that young lady." I grabbed a spoon from the drawer. And we both sat down started eating directly from the bowl. Mike came into the room before leaving for his date. He saw the banana pudding, and he grabbed a spoon for himself. We all sat and ate it straight from the bowl together.
Abby looked at Mike and asked him, "You did take the antidote mom gave you?" Mike looked at me and said, "Sorry, Dad, yes I did." I put the spoon down slowly, very slowly, and grabbed my throat. Then we all cracked up laughing."
Mike started talking, "Dad, Mom, was acting weird today."
"Weird for her or weird for anybody?" I asked.
"Dad, she was crying, smiling, talking to herself. Just plain weird even for mom," before putting another bite of pudding into his mouth.
I sighed and thought, "Maybe she has realized now, you can't hate forever. I doubt very much if she will ever forgive me. But maybe she will stop hating me so much. Or maybe she is in love with Randall and is going to marry him."
Sighing in resignation, "I am very sorry I did this to everyone. I hope you guys can learn from my mistakes. And don't duplicate them. I have caused a lot of pain for everyone."
"Oh, by the way, you two have had enough for tonight. You don't want to ruin your supper." Both laughed at me as they got up to leave."
Well, hell, I decided to order a small pizza and eat my other four servings of the banana pudding in the bowl. I was watching NCAA football for the evening. I could never get used to college football being played during the week. Then the doorbell rang. I opened it and to my chagrin, standing there was Mrs. Thaxton and her secretary.
I stood my ground, "Listen, Mrs. Thaxton, I haven't won the lottery, and I don't have a second job. And unless the courts order me to give up my organs or blood to raise money, I am broke. And I am about to be unemployed. She has gotten everything, but my soul like she said she would, and the devil is getting tired of fighting her for it."
I panicked as a thought came to me, "Oh hell no," I yelled. "She wants my burned-out Chevelle. Well, that I am not going to let her have. Better yet fuck you." slamming the door in her face.
I started walking back towards the living room.