As for how it would affect our relations with the parties afterward, we agreed that is should only happen one time with any individual, and, even though we were the instigators and plotters, it had to come of as if the "target" were the initiator, and my succumbing to their advance was a fluke, partly brought on my alcohol, perfect timing, and the seductive skills of the "target".
It was okay to flirt or otherwise encourage the sex; it was just not be the result of my initiation. I could go along with it, but it could not appear to have been planned. There was to be no talk or suggestion of a relationship or reoccurrence. I had to come across as the seduced, when in fact, I was the seductress....
After many discussions, and much reservation, I finally agreed. I must admit, I was a little concerned. Did my husband's willingness to let me have sex with others indicate he no longer wanted me, or loved me? I personally felt I could keep this sexual experiment from becoming emotional because I love my husband, and would not do this otherwise. Up till then I had never been unfaithful or had any desire to be. Sure I enjoyed the sexual tension of flirting, and having men make sexual comments, or perhaps inadvertently touching me, or finding ways to adjust my clothing or stance to give someone a glimpse of my tits or pussy, but it was all for my gratification.
While that put me at ease in my part of this grand scheme, I did not fully understand why he would want me to do this. So before I gave my final consent to the plan, I need an explanation.
Here's what he told me:
It was no secret we both like not only the act, but the mental aspect as well. He is very liberal minded when it comes to sex, there is little he won't, or hasn't done, tried or said. I am pretty much the same. Some of my past sexual experiences were somewhat promiscuous, some were done where there was some danger or risk of discovery, one or two were with married men where the attraction was physical, not emotional, which required a lot of secrecy and spontaneous sex when and where the opportunity presented itself. As a result of my telling him of these acts, he began to feel I had a strong sexual side and attitude, much like his, and unlike most women. I could and have had sex many times for the sake of sex. This was so foreign to his preconception of what women were about, this retelling my sexual experiences in such detail, allowed him insight of me, which I probably couldn't or wouldn't divulge. It was his way of getting in my mind. Understanding what I'm thinking when seeking sexual attention, or participating in sex, almost making him a part of it.
He said he was more interested in what is going on in my mind, than what is happening. He doesn't want me to just tell him I sucked so-and-so's cock; he want me to describe how I felt before I did it, how I did it, how so and so felt and responded, and how that affected me. He wasn't interested in having sex vicariously through me, as some latent homosexual or impotent entity, he wanted, by pressing for every detail, me to reveal, and relive my innermost thoughts and emotions I probably had never analyzed or contemplated before.
Honestly, the retelling of the actual sexual experiences I had, in minute detail, not only brought back intense feelings and memories, but caused me to mentally go back in time, and almost physically relive the event. It's one thing to say, "We met in the parking lot behind his office, and I gave him a blow-job in the car." Even if that is my initial recollection, when I try to relive the event, and describe everything that led up to it, I reveal a mental and psychological part that says more about me, and who I am sexually, and what I think sexually. Just how open minded and sexually malleable am I. What is my motivation and what are my limits, if any. What are my innermost, secret fantasies? It is by telling and recounting these events in minute by minute detail that gives us both new insights about who I am, and what I am really thinking.
And so, it is with this understanding of our relationship that I tell the stories I do. If my husband's desires are indicative of some underlying psychological problem, he deals with it, and so do I. I would never have come up with this deviant pattern on my own, and was reluctant, but I love my husband, do not consider my acts as cheating, nor do I have any long term emotional ties to the men (and women) with whom I have sex. The adventures have be satisfying to both of us, and to the best of my knowledge, no one has been hurt in the process. If this does not meet with your approval, you do not have to read further, or any of my stories. Perhaps soon he or I will lose our interest, and resume a more 'normal' lifestyle, but for now it works.
