04

I fought the anger down and managed to speak in something close to my normal tone, "Tell me why you're confused?"

"Danny, the doctors will never be able to reconstruct Tom's hand, you smashed the bones to smithereens ... and yet you took his cum in your mouth." Had she been talking to him while she had been in the spare room?

"I don't know any other guy who would want sloppy seconds after their best friend had fucked me and yet you took his cum, the cum of a man you hate, in your mouth ... and then fucked me while his cum was still inside me.

"Why? Why was it not ... oh shit! I can't even get my head around it enough to put a proper question together," and she tried again.

"On the one hand it's the hottest thing a guy has ever done to me but on the other, that was his jizz in me ... you should have made me clean myself up before coming anywhere near you!"

"Wow," I didn't quite know what to say. I had no real idea why I had done it ... it just seemed like something I should do at that point ... something that she would like me doing but ... when I thought about it, I wanted to vomit.

"Sarah, you're wrong ... so, so wrong. If I want you, I should be willing to take you as you are ... and I wanted you ... badly."

"Yes, but that was HIS spunk inside me."

"So what? Does what he ejaculates have some magical qualities that might kill me if it touches me? Will having a taste of him suddenly put me under his power and make me lose interest in you?

"Of course not and thinking that it does just panders to his grubby little image of himself. As far as I was concerned any man could have cum in you and I would have done the same thing.

"The only thing I care about is that you found it incredibly arousing, and I'll do it again whenever I think that the time is right."

She looked at me and I knew that she wanted to ask another question but perhaps now wasn't the time.

"OK, so tell me why you're still scared of me?" Sarah was lying snuggled in my arms and I felt her tense up when I asked her that question.

She hesitated and then took a deep breath, "You caught me cheating and I saw what you did to the guy I was cheating with ... a guy who was your best friend. I guess, despite your assurances, I'm afraid that you might do something similar to me.

"You also just did something wildly erotic to me when you put your hand around my throat as we made love. For a split second I thought you were seriously going to choke me but there was only the slightest bit of pressure and it sent me into a scary place where I thought I was dying ... but having the most incredible orgasm at the same time.

"Danny, my love, we've just fucked like never before. I've never had an orgasm like the one you just gave me, and you threw me into it before we had even talked about how badly I've treated you. Now I've come out of it with a burning desire to hold you and never let you go ... but I still don't know what our future is going to look like."

I stroked her hair and kissed it as I listened to her, "OK let's put that to one side for a moment, I whispered, "last week, if I had called you from Camp and asked you if you loved me, you would have said that you loved me totally and without reservation, or words to that effect."

"Yes, that's right," she agreed, "because I did then and a I do now."

"So now tell me how much you love me now that you know that I know that you like other men enough to have sex with them when I'm not around?"

"Oh boy," Sarah muttered, "that is such a hard question because ..."

"My love, trust me, think about where we are right now and where could have been after you got home last night.

"Please don't try and hide what you really feel and only tell me what you think I want to hear. We can go on building an incredibly strong relationship or we can watch it all crumble into dust, it all depends on how honest we are with each other.

She pushed herself up on her elbows and looked me right in the eye, "Danny, I love you unreservedly. The only other guy I had any feelings for was Tom, with the others it was just sex."

"How many other guys have you slept with since we've been married?"

I could tell that Sarah was thinking about what I had said before, but my last question really got her attention and I wondered if she would be honest with the answer because there was no real way of me knowing how many guys she had fucked.

"Four besides Tom. They were all one-night stands, three were guys I met while I was away at conferences, and one was a guy at work. Tom was the only long-term guy and we've been meeting while you've been away for almost two years?"

"And how deep were your feelings for Tom?"

"I loved him Dan," I saw the tears beginning to form in her green eyes, "and I thought that he loved me. I would never have left you for him because I loved you more and he would never have left his wife because he said he could never afford the child support."

So they had discussed it ... she had thought about it and even considered doing it ... with a total fucking loser like Tom.

"But after last night, I know he doesn't love me at all. As you said, he was very quick to try and throw me under the bus."

"Could any of those one-night stands have grown into something bigger?"

She hesitated for a moment but then shrugged her shoulders, "The guy at school could have, he's very nice and I know that he really would like to go on with it, but I had Tom and I didn't want another long-term lover."

She settled back down and put her head back on my chest and, for a while, she cried.

"Why are you crying?" I asked as I stroked her hair.

"Because I lost something I thought I had and now I'm probably going to lose something I knew I had." I knew what she was referring to and the ice that we were walking on was thinner than it had been before but there was still hope.

"No, my beautiful lady, you haven't lost me," but I knew that I was very close to leaving her.

"So, where do we go from here?" she asked as she looked straight into my eyes.

"That all depends on where you want to go." Before I could answer Sarah's question I needed more information, and she would still need to be honest with me.

"Huh?"

"Am I right in thinking that maybe your one-night stands started before you sat me down and gave me that little talk about it being the Army or you?"

"Yes, not long before we had that talk," she looked away and I gently cupped her cheek in my hand turned her head back so that she was looking at me.

"Sarah, don't be ashamed of what you did. You had needs and I wasn't around to take care of them for you so the only one who should be ashamed is me."

"You know," Sarah said as she pushed herself out of my arms and sat up, "you've said a couple of times that I had needs and that's no fucking joke! I did, and some fucking nights I was just about climbing the walls with my need for you ... or any man ... to fuck me.

"But you want honesty? Well let's have it and let's stop this sanctimonious crap that's coming out of your mouth, Dan.

"If the only reason I was fucking other guys was because I had needs and you weren't there to meet them then why did I go on fucking around after you left the Regular Army?

"And why did I go on fucking Tom of all people. Shit, Dan! I knew all along that he was a complete sleaze and sure, I loved him but not enough to keep him around after you came back. I kept him around because he was a good fuck, and it was exciting to fuck him when you weren't around ... and once you got home too.

"Yeah, you never noticed but I was fucking him at times you weren't away. I would call you and tell you that a staff meeting was going to run late but that was just an excuse to meet Tom in some motel.

"The fact is that I NEED more cock that you can give me, and I need more excitement in and out of bed. I may not need a lot more like some girls do but I definitely need more than just you.

"I'm not the little innocent that couldn't control her needs Dan, I'm a slut who loves to tease guys and sometimes fuck them as well ... and I'm never going to change.

"So Mr Goody Two Shoes if that changes your opinion of me then too fucking bad! You wanted the truth and now let's see if you can handle the truth and you still want me after hearing it."

She rolled off the bed and walked into the ensuite slamming the door behind her and leaving me lying there with my mouth open and my brain scrambled.

I lay there trying to get my head around what she had just said and then the sound of the shower running seemed to galvanise me into action.

I stormed into the ensuite just as she was stepping under the rain head and when she saw me she turned and stood facing me with her hands on her hips and then she looked down and smirked.

She looked so beautiful standing there with the water cascading over her tits and down between her legs and my cock told her all she needed to know. I knew that we didn't stand much hope of surviving now but I still wasn't prepared to give up.

"OK," I snarled, "so now tell me exactly what you want to happen to us. No pretty words, no hints or suggestions, just tell me in plain simple language that this dumb fuckwit can understand."

She looked me right in the eye, "I love you and I want to stay married to you, but I also want the freedom to fuck around. That's my bottom-line Danny ... there's no negotiation and if you don't agree to it then I walk. We sell the house, and we do a straight 50/50 split of our assets and neither of us gets to touch the other's retirement money."

I stepped into the shower and before she could take a step back, I grabbed her and pulled her close. "So you want me but you also want to fuck other guys?"

Our faces were only inches apart and she could have easily dissolved into tears but Sarah wasn't about to back down, "I'll end up doing it anyway Danny so agree to it and our marriage has a chance; don't agree to it and I'm not even going to waste my time trying to make our marriage work."

The kiss was rough and passionate and left us both panting when we finally pulled back, "Danny, I love you more than you will ever know but I can't be faithful to you. I thought I could when we married but my hunger for other guys is just too strong and I don't want to hurt you by pretending otherwise."

"I don't want to lose you Sarah, I want to stay married to you so I'm OK with you seeing other guys," the surprised look on her face almost made me smile but I wondered if what I had to say next would change surprise to shock, "but I want the same rights," I said calmly as I watched for her reaction.

She leaned back in my arms so that she could get a better look at my face, "What?"

"You heard me," I said softly, "if you want to stay married to me but have the freedom to fuck other guys then I want to but have the freedom to fuck other women."

She took a step backwards, right out of my arms, and looked at me in surprise, "But Danny ... I ... you ... I've never seen you even look at another woman! You never even mentioned a previous girlfriend!"

"Just because you've never seen me looking or heard me talking doesn't mean a thing, but I am getting the vibes here that you don't like the idea of me having the same freedom that you expect."

"Danny ... I ... I just ... it's not ..."

"It's not what you were expecting? You thought that I might just roll over and let you tickle my tummy like I'm some sort of faithful puppy?" I was pushing her now, raising my voice slightly and becoming more forceful.

"Yes ... no ... I ... I mean I ..."

I stepped out of the shower, "Maybe you need some time to think about it, how about I hit the kitchen and make some scrambled eggs on toast for breakfast and leave you to think?"

The first thing I did when I hit the kitchen was to tidy up the kitchen and load up the dishwasher. Then, I mixed up the ingredients while the pan warmed up on the stove and then got myself into the rhythm I needed to get everything to come together at the same time.

When she walked into the kitchen ten minutes later I was just putting two plates of scrambled eggs down on the breakfast bar. I felt rather good about getting it all together, but Sarah looked rather glum.

She clearly didn't like the idea of me having the same rights as her and that didn't surprise me. I had read of other women who had expected to be allowed to play around while their husbands stayed at home, but I was not about to become one of them.

"How about I take you down to our favourite coffee shop for some real coffee when we've finished breakfast?"

She sighed, "OK."

"I take it that you're not going to work this morning?"

Sarah sighed again, "No, the school owed me some extra hours, so I organised with Kyle to have today off."

For a moment I wondered if Kyle was the guy she had slept with from school but then dismissed the idea. I had accepted that she had fucked around so who she did it with, now that I had sorted Tom out, was of no importance whatsoever.

That was the quietest breakfast I had ever had with Sarah. Usually, she wanted to chatter on about all sorts of things but that morning she barely said a word and she almost had to be coaxed off her chair when it was time to go out for coffee.

On a normal day Sarah would take at least a little time to get ready if we were going out but that day she pulled on a denim skirt, a tight and brightly coloured t-shirt, gave her long hair a few strokes with a brush and pronounced herself ready to go.

She still managed to look very attractive, and she still managed to turn a few male heads when we walked into the coffee shop, but she ignored my compliments and didn't seem to notice the effect she was having on some of the male patrons.

My attempts at starting a conversation were also ignored so, when we drove away from the coffee shop I headed away from our home. There was no point going back there if she was going to stay silent for hours.

"Where are we going?" she asked as I turned the car onto the main highway that would take us out of the city and into the mountains to the west.

"I've booked us a table at The Willows for lunch. I thought that it would be a bit cooler up there and it's always a nice quiet place for a meal."

The Willows was a restaurant set in an acre or so of garden and shade trees where every table was in its own unique little setting and shielded from the tables around it. It had been a favourite of ours for quite some time although it had been a while since we had been there.

The hour-long drive to get there had always been a time for us to talk, often about our plans for the future, but Sarah didn't say a word for the entire trip, and it wasn't until we had been shown to our table and placed our order that she did speak.

"It's not fair," Sarah said as the waiter disappeared back towards the kitchen.

"What isn't fair my love?"

"Your demand ... it isn't fair because you may meet someone you like better than me and I would lose you, but if I don't agree to your demand, I'm going to lose you anyway."

I could see the pain in her eyes and I wanted to reach across the table and take her hands in mine but instead I kept my hands to myself. If she genuinely wanted to stay with me there was really only one option for her to choose and I wasn't about to cloud the issue by taking her hand and making her think that I felt sorry for her.

I did feel sorry for her, but she had got herself into this mess and now she had to be the one to choose the only option that might get her out of it.

"You have given me exactly the same choice Sarah, we're both damned if we do and damned if we don't."

"No I haven't Danny, I'm not going to fall in love with some other guy and leave you. With them it's just sex ... that's all."

"But you said that you had fallen in love with Tom."

"Nooo," she whined, "that was different. I let myself do that with him, but I won't let that happen with anyone else ... I promise."

The look on my face was the only response she needed to know what I thought of that response. I think that she was beginning to realise that I wasn't about to change my mind and she needed to get with the plan if she wanted to stay married.

And then I began to wonder just why she wanted to stay married? Was I really that much of a support for her?

Our meals arrived and we ate in silence until I had a question that I just had to ask, "Did you really think that I would agree to you having the freedom to play around while I didn't?"

Sarah shrugged, "I didn't even consider it Danny. I thought that if you weren't going to throw me out then we would just go on the way we were, but I would replace Tom with some fuck buddies."

How I had misjudged this woman, she had just thrown the man she said she loved under a bus and was already working towards replacing him. How was that for cold and calculating?

I guess I was more than a little shocked at her response and I hardly said a word for the rest of the time we were at the restaurant. Once again, we were deep in our own thoughts on the drive home, but when we turned into our street I decided that it was time to bring it all to a head.

"I hope that you see that there is really only one option available to us if you really do want to stay married to me. Would you agree?"

Sarah sighed, "I know there is Danny, but it scares me because I could lose you so easily."

"Then I guess that we have to work even harder at building a strong and enduring relationship while we are together."

"I know," she sighed, "I've got to agree to it, and I do ... but how are you going to find another woman to play with ... and does that mean I have to be good until you do?"

Yeah, how was I going to do that? Sarah could walk into a bar and, in the blink of an eye, have a dozen guys trying to buy her a drink while I could walk into a bar and then walk out hours later with no one.

"I don't know," I admitted as I parked the car in the garage.

"You don't know what?" Sarah was beginning to get angry, so I tried to think of a better answer as we went through into the kitchen.

"Were you trying to bluff me or scare me into stepping back from my demand?"

I grabbed a couple of bottles of cold water from the fridge, "Let's go and sit out on the back veranda while we talk about this."

"Good idea," she said as she peeled her t-shirt off and shimmied out of her denim skirt, "I need to work on my tan."

She grabbed a bottle of sunscreen that we kept by the side door and she threw it to me once she was settled on her sunlounge.

On any normal day what we were about to do might end up with her bent over the veranda railing while I ploughed deep into her cunt and she tried to keep her cries down to a level that couldn't be heard next door ... but today was no ordinary day.

She had obviously been thinking on the way home and now she was wound up tighter than a spring ... with anger.

"So, please answer my questions Dan, what don't you know?" I started applying the lotion to her shoulders in the hope that she would begin to relax but I was out of luck, there was no reduction in the tension in her body.

I chuckled but there was little mirth in it, "I don't know what to do in this situation. At first, I was going to deal with whoever you came home with and then walk out and never come back.

"Then I decided that wasn't fair for you because I left you alone for so long and for so many times that it was unreasonable for me to expect you to be faithful so I thought that we could work things out but then you gave me your ultimatum ... and again, I didn't know what to do.

"See, when I heard and saw the two of you kissing and making out that didn't make me angry ... that turned me on ... and even now, thinking about his hand on your bare arse, is making me horny. And fucking you, knowing that you still had his jizz in your cunt made me even harder so I thought that maybe I could handle you playing around with other guys.