Although she considered herself a good person, and although her parents had her baptized as a little baby, still, Eve was never at all religious. So it was a great shock when she found herself standing before St. Peter outside the pearly gates of heaven.
"Well?" said St. Peter, looking up from his book. The apostle's medieval-style eyeglasses looked anachronistic in the 21st century, very steampunk. "Do you want to say anything in your defense, Eve?"
Eve pondered for a minute.
"I'm a loving wife," she said at last. "What else is there to me? That's all I ever was. So you should judge me as such, I think. Have I ever been unfaithful? Have I ever cheated on my husband?"
"No..." said St. Peter, carefully searching his book.
"Then I deserve to go to heaven."
"Tell me," said Peter, stroking his chin. "Suppose a certain car model is recalled because they found out it would explode if it reached a certain temperature. Is that a good car or a bad car?"
"A bad car," said Eve.
"Even if your particular car of that model never reached that temperature, and never exploded? It's still bad?" said Peter.
"Of course," said Eve. "The fact that your particular car of that model never reached that temperature, that's just luck. If the car has that defect, it's a bad car, whether or not the problem is triggered."
"And what if an app would expose your data if a hacker entered a secret passcode?" said Peter. "Is that a good app or a bad app?"
"A bad app."
"Even if your particular copy never exposed your data because no-one attacked you?"
"Yes," said Eve. "The backdoor makes it a bad app, even if it's never exploited."
"Then how can you say you're a good person, just because you never cheated on your husband?" said Peter. "You just never got in a position where you would cheat on him."
"I would never cheat!" said Eve. "I'd rather die than be unfaithful!"
"That's not what it says here," said Peter, flipping through his pages. "Let's see what would happen in an alternate scenario."
Suddenly Eve was floating in a void with St. Peter, watching her life flash before her eyes.
But this time, it unfolded differently.
*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
Eve was at that hip Jamaican bar and club, the "Tamed Shrew", with her brand new husband Josh. Eve could never forget that wonderful night. It was the first night of their honeymoon! Every man in the club was staring at their table enviously. Who can blame them? Eve looked radiant with her curly blonde hair and her perfectly tanned, perfectly shaped body in that floral bikini. She had bracelets on her wrists and necklaces on her neck, hanging down into the crevasse between her two ample bosoms. Everywhere she flashed her smile, the club lit up brighter. She had flawless teeth and facial structure, and piercing blue eyes that could cut through a man's armor. She was leaning on Josh and gazing at him. The very image of a faithful loving newlywed.
A band came on stage, and Eve noticed the singer was quite fetching. He was tall and dark and he sang passionately, only the slightest hint of a Jamaican accent.
Throughout the set, Eve kept watching that tall dark lead singer. He seemed unreal, so beautiful and sexy. Eve felt no remorse as she undressed the singer with her eyes: a man that gorgeous could be lusted after quite innocently, like an athlete or a movie star. The man was so far outside the bride-next-door's reality, it was like her husband Josh wasn't even competing. No more than Josh would compete against the chef preparing their meal for them.
The set ended and the band disappeared into the crowd. And in Eve's life, that was the end of it. But this time, something different happened. A waiter approached Eve and Josh's table with a champagne bottle.
"A present from another guest," said the waiter.
"Who?" said Eve and Josh together.
"His name is Damien," said the waiter. "He'd like to meet you, if you're comfortable. But you're under no obligation."
"Sure," said Josh. "We'll talk to him."
