This is a continuation of "Discovery of My Sexual Utopia"
If you haven't read the first segment, I strongly encourage you to do so.
I would like to thank all the positive responses from the first segment. Your kind words were very much appreciated.
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What followed were the most intense orgasms of my life. My first orgasm was just the beginning. I continued grinding my ass from Gary's chin to the bridge of his nose. My sex was feeling every part of his profile as my orgasm began to subside. I opened my eyes and saw Gary's face smothered in mine and his cum. I continued to watch in amazement, experiencing new dominate sensations in my mind. Feeling as though I was now in control and that Gary would from this day forward be merely a substitute for my absent lover(s). A substitute whose primary focus would be my pleasure, asked to perform at my request, whose own sexual needs were not a concern. These thoughts made my second orgasm build quickly and I was shaking uncontrollably as it released though my body.
Pulling off Gary, my body collapsed beside him in our bed. My body was still quivering as I glanced over and stared at my husband's face. The sight of a swollen and busted lip cued me to the blood that mixed in the fluids covering his face. Suddenly I felt guilt. I felt guilt for treating Gary submissively. I felt guilt for feeling the dominate sensations that lifted me to the best orgasm of my life.
"I don't know," I thought to myself. "Is this really where I want this to go?"
I noticed a change in Gary immediately, even before he rose out of bed and went to the shower. The change in him appeared as severe as the change in me. Over the next few days Gary became withdrawn. Whatever stimulus he had from the thought of me being shared with another man appeared to have been snuffed completely. Our relationship was changing. I sensed the familiar feelings I had experienced when our relationship as husband and wife would become strained. This time however the strain was not one of irritation with one another but more like the strain associated with the guilt of betrayal. The thoughts of betrayal continued, they wouldn't cease in my mind.
Several weeks passed since that Saturday morning that I had treated Gary with dominate selfishness. Although Gary and I had sex a few times since that day, for the most part I was not feeling sexual or sensual. Not for Gary, not for Jim, not even for the moments that a woman will experience in privacy. Jim struggled with interpreting my sudden change. However Jim didn't struggle alone, I was having a hard time also. What Jim didn't know was that Gary was fully aware of mine and Jim's charades and was struggling more than anyone. Now instead of desires to dominate my husband, the sadness I felt for what he was experiencing now dominated me.
In regards to Jim, I was back to dodging his advances. The sexual desire I had for him had nearly diminished completely.
The first few times Jim called trying to set something up I simply apologized as politely and non-leadingly as I could with an explanation of work demands. Knowing that eventually I would have to come forward on the issue, I called Jim after a couple weeks and insisted on meeting him for lunch.
We met for lunch the next day and after an informal greeting and without any hesitation Jim said, "Second thoughts right?"
"Yes Jim. A few days after our last lunch I woke up on Saturday and Gary and I made love. But it was awkward. Afterwards I felt as though I was betraying him. Not necessarily in the physical sense but more like I was betraying our love, maybe just our intimacy. It felt as though I had been very disrespectful to the man I love and have chosen to spend the rest of my life with. So, at least for now, I don't want to pursue what you and I started. I have to live with my actions and my conscience and I just don't think I would like myself if we went at it like a couple teenagers completely blind of the ramifications."
"So I guess a blowjob is out of the question?" He inquired in a comical tone.
"Today it is, will from me anyway. Maybe you can get one of your office sluts to take a little extra cream with their afternoon Starbucks." I chuckled.
The rest of the lunch went pretty uneventful. Jim was surprisingly polite and respectful. I think more than anything his manners and attitude represented a sincere concern for my feelings. He was very unselfish and maintained an understanding position.
Withdrawing my pursuit for Jim nursed my quilted feelings and I slowly began the healing and recovery of my sensuality. Although I had no interest in flirting with other men I was opening back up to Gary. I wanted to mend our relationship. I wanted to be intimate with him again. I needed him to make love to me. I needed him to assure me that even after the dominating and disrespectful treatment we were both still committed to the long haul.
Now, it doesn't take twenty years of marriage for a partner to know when the love making is coming deep from within heart. Gary easily recognized the depth of my love, not only from gentle expressions of my behavior and not only from the shameful tears I would produce after a climax, but also from the sensuality I extended whole heartedly as we laid together in each others arms after making love.
It took a few months for mine Gary's marriage and sex life to get back up to full swing. We were now flirting contagiously around the house with one another and even managed a couple of really good fuck sessions. Our fucking was a welcome return for both of us. Making love was once again becoming well, not necessarily routine, but definitely limited in expression. After all, we were coming up on our twentieth anniversary and as stated earlier, sometimes a girl just needs a good fucking.
