Dear Diary.
It's been a long while since I've written in here. I'm all grown up now with a wonderful husband but I have to get something off of my chest. Maybe if I write this down I can understand what went wrong and figure out why I did what I did and why I let it continue for so long.
I'm so confused as to how I could violate my husband's trust so thoroughly and so willingly. I've always prided myself in being a strong and a pure woman but for some reason, I couldn't stop myself.
If Mike, my husband ever found out, he would be devastated and I can't let that happen. My life has changed because if my one indiscretion. HA! One, that's a laugh
I still don't know how "IT" happened to begin with. We had been married for not even a year. Mike and I were both paying our way through college so I took a job at a shoe store at night while he dove head first into finishing his degree while also holding down a full time job. Maybe if Mike wasn't so focused, he would have noticed the change in me. Maybe not. I mean, it's weird. We really didn't change much. I was always very sexual every since we tied the knot.
Mike on the other hand was so focused on getting us on the fast track with a good paying job and a great start to our future, let the gas off the pedel when it came to making love to me. I don't blame him in the least. I respect what he did. And what did I do? I repaid him back by violating his trust.
Robert, a coworker and I both worked together, almost exclusively. Those nights happen to be where my naive innocence and purity was lost forever and where my sexual awakening began.
Robert is fairly attractive but certainly not the buff athlete you hear so much about in those fantasy books or romance novels. You know, the ones that give me a gag reflex.
I was brought up in a very conservative household and believed a woman should save herself for marriage, and I did just that. My husband, Mike, was my first lover and I thought he would be my last. Yeah, when you least expect it, life changes.
In reality, Mike was enough for me. Ha! I said "was". Even though I did what I did, Mike and I still enjoyed a great sex life, even with his schedule. As I hinted to before. It wasn't quite as often as before but what did I expect? Actually, I think that after carrying on for as long as I did, my indiscretions made sex with my husband even better. Oh who am I kidding. It was still wrong.
Maybe it was because of the guilt I felt after coming home from work three nights a week and sometimes four. Okay, there were a few fives thrown in there. Anyways, coming home with the feel of another man's hands all over my body not to mention that I was still throbbing from the lashing I had just taken. But still, I have no explanation for doing what I'm about to confess.
Why am I telling you this, diary? Because the secret is eating at me and I have to tell someone and that someone can't be able to tell anyone else.
I wish I could say it just happened once and that it was just a one time slip but that would be a bold face lie.
But I'm procrastinating. I'm just trying to think of how to put this. Yes, I know. I've hinted at what I've done.
Jeez, I'll just say it. I CHEATED on Mike. Thats right, I committed the worst sin that I can imagine. I committed adultery against my best friend and husband and became so seduced by the feel and touch of another man and the mystique of having extramarital sex that I couldn't bring myself to stop no matter how guilty I felt after each encounter.
I had an affair! Oh god I hate that word but that's what it turned out to be. It wasn't a fling or a casual rendezvous. It was a full blown affair. Anyways, my affair lasted for a good while before situations forced it to end. Thank goodness.
For months, I actually had another man's big, fat cock, ramming balls deep inside of my married, cheating pussy.
When I say it, and I see it here in print, it disgusts me. Men have affairs, not women. Women were usually the victims of a lecherous seduction, weren't they? Apparently not. I used to think of a woman having an affair as a slut or a whore. How does it feel to be on the receiving end of your own wrath, Kara?
I don't know why I let it continue. I must have went to work to tell Robert a half a dozen times that we have to stop. Every single time I did, I would find myself on my back with my feet facing the ceiling or bending over a shelf or desk with my ass sticking up, taking his bare cock into me while I begged him to fuck me like an obsessed little slut. Somehow it all became a morbid need.
I admit it. I did become obsessed with the feel of the raw sex so much that I would volunteer to pull more shifts just so I could get fucked again and again and again. Remember those five nights in a row? Yeah, I was definitely obsessed.
I even made up stories to my husband just so I could work more nights. How honorable and what a good employee I was. HAHA! Robert on the other hand thought he had died and gone to heaven.
I still can't explain why I couldn't stop him from fucking me. Alright, let me rephrase that so I'm honest. I can't explain why I didn't want him to stop fucking me. Eventually, I was the one begging for it. Do you believe it, diary? I BEGGED another man to fuck me! I don't know how many times I let him dump his load inside of my bare pussy. Yes, that's right. We never used a condom.
Good job, Kara. For some reason I wanted to feel the raw flesh of his cock sliding inside of my unprotected pussy as his cock massaged his sperm deeper into the walls of my canal. Oh my, that made me twitch. Oh and not to mention that I wanted to feel his cum in my panties after he had pulled out of me.
Robert didn't have the biggest cock but it was thicker than I'm used to. That's funny! "What I'm used to." I think Robert fucked me so many times that I did get used to him to the point to where he felt, well, normal.
Did I mention how much he came? No? WOW. He would push so deep into me that our bodies became molded together. I could actually feel his cock expand and surge each time a rope of his sperm pushed through his shaft to soak the insides of my pussy. Each surge made my eyes roll to the back of my head until his big, full balls had completely emptied inside of me. My birth control pills were working overtime for sure trying to fight off all of the sperm that was no doubt being shot directly against my cervix.
The mental image that he was literally painting my uterus with his sperm, oh my goodness. Sometimes, even a few hours after he had used me, I could still feel his cum running out of my pussy while I lied in my own bed next to my sweet, sleeping husband who was exhausted from a long day of securing our future. The feeling of it running down my ass was, what can I say, mind altering.
Thank goodness that Mike isn't a big fan of him eating me out. That would have been bad. Or maybe it would have kept me honest. Oh, I don't know. As my sexual dishonesty continued, so did my urge for make love to my husband.
There were so many times when Mike would shoot his cum inside of me after I had just cheated on him not knowing that his own sperm was competing with the cum of another man. I would always clean up before Mike got to me but I knew that Robert was still there. It felt as if the love of my life was reclaiming me which made me feel a lot better.
Sorry, sorry. Focus. I'll continue.
Oh, by the way, I swallow now. HA! Mike wasn't even the first. How's that for being a loyal spouse. I actually gave my oral virginity to another man before my own husband! That's fucked up in so many ways.
I felt so guilty though that I really did try to fix it. You should have seen the look on Mike's face when I told him I wanted to swallow his cum. I, of course, never told him that it was because of the extreme guilty I felt for giving a blowjob to, and swallowing another man's cum for the very first time just an hour before and many, many times after.
Wow, well I said it. I cheated and did things with another man that I had never, ever let my husband do with me. At least Mike took my vaginal virginity. Even though I gave my mouth away and yes, I'm ashamed to say it...I even considered giving my anal virginity to my coworker. Why? I guess I like being used like a whore. Hell, I don't know.
Ok, I better write this or I won't finish it.
Robert and I had worked together for only around 6 months before, well, IT happened. We would flirt off and on during our time together but nothing too serious ever came out of it. I mean, he was harmless, until he wasn't.
One night, when everyone else had finished their shift, Robert started the flirting as expected. He must have been extra horny because he kept saying things more and more sexual and we became quite personal with our comments. I guess I felt comfortable with him. In hindsight, too comfortable. He mostly told me how hot I looked and how my husband must be a very lucky man to have me naked in his bed every night. He said he liked the way my slacks fell into my ass. You know, innocent stuff like that. Whatever...
You think that another man mentioning my nudity and the sexual connotations would have made me feel uncomfortable and the red alerts would have sounded in my head. Nope, nothing. In fact. Now that I knew that he looked at my ass, I wiggled a little more and wore more thin slacks to elicit even more comments.
There were a lot of nights where my small chest size, which is a B-cup was his main focus. Apparently he has a thing for small breasts. "They stayed on the woman's chest and never fell into the drawers" he would say. I thought that was pretty clever.
He wanted to know if it was true that the nipples on small chested gals were more sensitive to arousal than big chested women. Then he asked if I had ever had a nipple orgasm. Honestly I didn't even know there was such a thing and told him so. He then said, "let me show you."
Robert told me about a gal that loved it when he would suck her nipples and wanted me to experience his technique. I'm pretty sure that he knew that he was getting me wet.
"I'll start out gentle, kissing your breasts all over, especially the underside. Then I'll move up to your areola and gently lick around it making sure to leave your perfect, and I'm sure pink, nipples alone. But only at first. Your nips will get nice and firm wanting to jump right off of your sweet little titties. Then I will suddenly take your nipples into my mouth and suck them really gentle like."
I was just standing there staring at the audacity of his words. Yep, I got a nipple erection alright. Thank goodness for bra padding.
"Then I'll suck them really hard, almost sucking your little buds right off of the caps. Then I'll let up and then go hard again. Sooner or later, you'll be grinding your legs together until you explode in your first nipple orgasm. Who knows, maybe you'll be turned on enough to get off completely. Let me ask you, are your nipples connected directly to your clit?"
I can't believe he just stood there and smiled after saying all of this. How inappropriate! And how turned on I was...
After he got me all hot and bothered, not that I told him that, he changed the subject so we could do some actual work, for the moment at least. Oh he knew what he was doing. He was getting me to think about it until I wanted it for myself. Oh, I wanted it. I wasn't going to tell him that though.
As the night wore on, Robert gradually ramped up his sexy talk but being the naive barely married 20 year old college girl I apparently am, I never saw what he was doing. He of course, was trying to and successfully seducing me. It was working in a big way. I mean, he seriously got me going for goodness sake. My pants were even uncomfortable at the seam, digging into my clitoris. My freaking nipples were hard as ever and refused to go down. Damn him.
He asked if my nipples were wired to my clit?? YES THEY WERE. And right now they were ready to go off any minute. No, of course I didn't actually say that.
