A chapter totally from Bob's viewpoint only - some more pretty graphic sex, as well. This iteration of the tale IS approaching the end. Maybe just one or two more chapters to go, at this point.
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Bob - Friday AM
Exactly one week from my own personal "black" Friday.
I woke about 9AM and really felt like shit. My head was pounding. I remembered my very strange encounter last night. I also felt guilty as hell for cheating - on Karen, my new girlfriend, not Elaine, my bitch wife I was separated from. And even though Karen and I had not slept together yet. It was my loyalty gene. I had a strange one - I couldn't ever actually separate "your loyalty to me" from "my loyalty to you". It was always a two way street with me. One reason I couldn't quite fathom Elaine's lack of loyal fidelity while I HAD remained faithful and loyal to her.
Well, maybe Elaine wasn't quite such a bitch, after all - just a different woman in some very important ways than the one I idealized and loved and married 11 years ago. Her definition of loyalty and love was a tad different from my own. Hey, it's all just subjectively relative - wasn't that the latest take on ALL moral issues in our modern world?
I stumbled through my shower and getting dressed and headed upstairs to the main kitchen. Elaine was there in her robe just waiting with her coffee.
She looked even more unhappily than the new normal for her. But she almost grinned a tad at my own obviously painful state. The sadistic bitch. And I even grinned a little at that thought and in response. She almost sighed in relief at that little smile of mine.
"Breakfast?" is all she said.
"Please..." I croaked back. "And where's the aspirin?"
"Upstairs in our master bath, of course - I'll get you some after you eat a little."
Her mood seemed to have lightened.
After I ate, swallowed 3 aspirin, drank 2 large glasses of OJ and even one of milk, and was on my second cup of coffee and was starting to feel a little more human, Elaine finally asked me, "Did you see Kay last night?"
"Yes. She seemed very honest and told me what I wanted to know. I don't need to talk about any of it with you right now. I'm still thinking about it. Look, it hasn't actually made "us" any worse than we were already, so don't you worry about that part of it. What's done is done. I'm glad I met Kay and we talked. She really likes you, I think. And strangely enough, I don't think I would mind you being friendly with Kay if you needed that kind of friend - a woman who knows the secret you - nearly as much as I would mind someone like Susan. Do you understand?"
"Maybe. I'm not seeing or talking with Susan, anymore - that's for sure. And I wasn't planning on staying in touch with Kay either - other than paying her back some money I owe her. She texted me a few times like you saw. But I didn't respond. The only friend I really need and want back right now is you, Hon..."
"Sorry, I just can't make any promises to you about that now. And I can't believe any promises you make to me right now, either. Trust is one of the most fragile things there is between human beings. It takes quite a bit of focused effort to slowly grow and build - and it then can all be destroyed in an instant of unthinking carelessness, or casual cruelty. Ever noticed that?"
"I...know that now. I should have known it before. It was a hard lesson to relearn."
Kudos to her for not crying, again. Frankly, it was getting boring to me. I might have some sadistic tendencies myself - in the deepest darkest part of my own psyche when released by other passions - like a totally uninhibited drug fueled sex encounter, but I didn't enjoy hurting people, even Elaine in these circumstances, when fully sober.
She then said, "Any time you need the Highlander or just want to take it - it's yours. It's not much, but better than your car. I wish you could have a new car, yourself, actually. I guess I never quite understood or appreciated why owning such status symbol toys just wasn't your thing."
"Ah - it's just not and never was. Don't make me out to be all noble about it. That's just a little personality quirk. I might drive the Highlander Monday, but not today. Well, it's a REAL late start for me now and I've got to go. Thanks for breakfast."
She touched my arm - but I just walked away without acknowledging it. I was still afraid of her and especially just how sexually attracted to her I still was, even after the excesses of last night and my new feelings for Karen. Life was suddenly getting REAL complicated. Maybe like it was for Karen the last few years. Maybe I would crash and burn inevitably myself now at some point in the future. Maybe I already had.
The burning question in my mind was "tell Karen about Kay and last night, or not?" Shit. I decided not too. It was just sex, unplanned for, and a result of Kay kind of forcing me before she would tell me everything about Elaine. And then it hit me - the same rationalizations Elaine used? Well, I was different because I wasn't ever going to do THAT again - cheating on Karen - and Elaine had, over and over again, no matter if it was only once a month or less than that over the course of 2 years. OK.
I WAS real busy with work stuff now, the more I learned the more I figured out on my own what ELSE needed doing - and I just did it. Ross was busy himself, as well.
I called Karen right after lunch and said, "What do you want to do tonight?"