She looked at me like she was trying to see how I was taking it, but I just sat there and quietly listened.
"Six months ago the company hired Amos Decker and he was assigned to my department. Amos was black and, as always, when he was around the questions were always on my mind. Was he as big as all the girls at school said black men were? Was he great in bed? Amos had been there about a month before he started hitting on me. I know I should have shut him down immediately, but I didn't. For one I liked the attention and for another I thought he might say something or do something that might answer my questions. I had no intension of ever trying to find out first hand. I did flirt with him some to try and keep him interested in me.
"He joined the rest of the group when we stopped after work for a drink or two and he always managed to sit by me at a table or in a booth. I danced with him a time or two when someone would put money in the jukebox. One night when the group broke up Amos walked me to my car and then tried to kiss me. I let him. He gave me some tongues and I gave him some back. I was just teasing him and it didn't mean anything to me. He wanted to get in the car and make out, but I told him that I couldn't because I had to hurry home and get dinner ready for you.
"Two days later I was eating lunch at the diner across from work when Amos came in, saw me sitting alone in a booth and came over to join me. After he had ordered and while we were eating he told me that he had liked the taste of me that he had gotten the other night and asked me when he could get another taste. I told him never and that the only reason I had let him kiss me was because I was curious. He asked me what I was curious about and I told him that I had never been kissed by a black man and I wondered what it would be like. He asked me how he measured up and I told him that it was no different than kisses I'd gotten from other guys. He laughed and said that he would bet that kissing a black man wasn't all that I was curious about and that he was more than willing to help me satisfy my other curiosities. I thanked him for the offer and told him no thanks and that I'd take a pass on his offer. By then I was done with lunch so I got up and left."
As I listened to her tale I was getting pissed because I knew without a doubt where the story was headed.
"His offer took root in my mind and sat there next to all those questions that I had. He must have been able to sense that I did have curiosities and he redoubled his efforts to try and get me. The next night that the crew stopped after work he again managed to get the seat beside me. He asked me if I was ready to satisfy my curiosities and I told him that I couldn't. I told him I was married and loved you deeply and that I couldn't. He laughed and said that he didn't want to run away with me; he just wanted a taste. Just a little taste. I asked him why he was interested in a pregnant married woman and he told me that he found pregnant women to be extremely sexy. He asked me to dance and I couldn't refuse him without everyone at the table wondering why since we all danced to the jukebox most times we stopped and I had danced with him before.
As we danced he said, "It is true you know" and I asked him what was true and he said, "Everything you've heard about black men. It is all true." I didn't say anything to that and I guess he took my silence to mean that I was thinking about it. We danced twice more and he kept getting bolder; telling me that I was missing out on a great experience. When the group broke up to go home he again walked me to my car and tried to kiss me and I let him. Just to tease him I gave him a little tongue and we kissed for a couple of minutes and he tried to get me into the car to make out with him. I told him that I couldn't because you would be home soon and would be expecting dinner to be ready.
"The next morning at work Marsha told me that she had seen me kissing Amos and she told me to be careful and not fall into the trap and I asked her what trap. She smiled and said that she had heard that once you go black you would never go back. I knew that she was kidding, but that was another thing that I had previously heard about black guys. One more curiosity planted in my head next to all the others. Anyway, Amos kept working on me and he did eventually get me in the car to make out with him. The harder he tried to hook me the more curious I got and I final reached the point where I just had to satisfy my curiosity. Three weeks ago I called the girls and told them to get a sub for me because I wouldn't be able to play cards that night.
"After work I followed Amos to his house. It was a huge let down. It started out bad. I told him he would have to use a condom and he didn't want to. He said that there was no need since I was already pregnant and I told him that I had no idea what his sexual history was like and I had no intension of taking a little something extra home with me. He grumbled, but I told him no condom, no pussy. He went to the bedside stand got one and put it on. That pretty much set the tone for the rest of the evening. He wasn't any bigger than most of the guys I'd done and he didn't have any kind of staying power at all. All in all he wasn't any different than any of the other guys I had been with and in fact he wasn't even as good as most of them. I left his house feeling like an absolute fool. I'd cheated on you to satisfy some stupid curiosities. I felt guilty as hell and I promised myself I'd do my absolute best to spoil you rotten for the rest of our lives to make up for it.
"The problem was that Amos wanted more and he kept pressing me. I kept telling him no and that the first time was a bad mistake on my part and one that I had no intension of repeating. Then he got nasty. He told me that he owned my ass and if I didn't do what he wanted he would send you a copy of the tape he had made of us fucking. I told him that he was full of shit and that there was no video. He laughed at me and said that the clock on his dresser was actually a video camera and that it had captured the entire evening. I again said he was full of shit and he told me that I should come to his place and watch it. I couldn't take the chance that he wasn't lying so I begged off cards last night and followed him home.
"He did have a video tape. He laughed at me and told me that I was his bitch from then on and that I would do whatever he wanted me to do or you would get the tape. He said that he had friends who liked white pussy and that he was going to share me with them and that I was going to learn to love threesomes, foursomes and gangbangs. Then he pulled down the bedcovers and told me to get undressed and get ready to start my life as his bitch.
"The night he fucked me and I made him get a condom he got them out of the bedside stand and when the drawer was open I'd seen a gun in the drawer and I knew just what I was going to do. I undressed and Amos laughed and said that he knew I was going to be a pushover. While he took his clothes of I went to the bedside stand and pulled open the drawer. He asked me what I was doing and I told him I was getting a condom. He laughed and said we weren't going to use one. No way was his bitch going to make him wear a raincoat. I told him he would wear it or he could go and fuck himself. I told him if he gave me a disease and I took it home and gave it to you you would know I was cheating and his tape wouldn't be worth diddly-squat.
"When I opened the drawer I saw that the gun was a Smith and Wesson .38 Special. It was the same gun that my dad carried when he was a cop and I was familiar with it. Dad didn't want me to grow up afraid of guns so he used to take me to the range with him and let me practice with it. The way it was lying in the drawer I could see the tips of the bullets in the cylinder so I knew it was loaded. I reached in, pulled it out and pointed it at him. His eyes got big and he asked me what the fuck I was doing. I pulled the hammer back as I told him I was going to put an end to his sorry ass. I put two into the middle of his chest and he fell to the floor. I walked over to him and he was lying on his back looking up at me with disbelieving eyes when I pointed the gun at the middle of his forehead and said, "Goodbye asshole." I pulled the trigger and then got dressed.
"I went through his place and took every video tape I could find, stuffed them into a pillow case and then wiped down everything I had touched since getting there and then I left. I stopped at a 7-11 about five miles from his place and tossed the gun and pillow case into their dumpster."
I sat there and looked at my wife dumbfounded. I knew Cora's sexual history so the fact that she was curious about what a black guy would be like didn't come as a surprise, but the she actually went forward with satisfying that curiosity floored me. I thought we were more solid than that. In our seven years of marriage I'd never had any reason to believe that Cora might step out on me. And the way she had coldly described ending a man's life made me understand that I really didn't know my wife as well as I had thought. Her voice pulled me out of my thoughts.
"Well?" she asked.
"Well what?"
"Are you going to help me or not?"
I stared at her silently for several seconds before I gave her an honest answer.
"I don't know Cora; I honestly don't know. If I lie for you and get caught doing it I could end up in jail and right now I'm not sure that you are worth my taking the chance. Think on this as you sit there. The only reason I know that you fucked this guy is that you suddenly need my help. Think about the thoughts that you have just planted in my mind. She has cheated on me. Is the guy the first one or just the first one I know about? If this guy isn't the first how many others have there been? Anyone that I know? Someone who looks at me and smiles to himself every time we see each other? And then there is the biggie; the new elephant in the room. If she has cheated with more than this Amos guy is the baby she is carrying even mine?"
She gasped and cried out, "You can't believe that! You can't possibly believe that?"
"Unfortunately Cora I can."
She started bawling and then got up and ran from the room. I finished my coffee and even though I didn't much feel like it I got up and went to work. It was a bad day for me. Even though I managed to get my work done my mind was never far from what Cora had dumped on me that morning. The drives to work and home that afternoon had me thinking on what to do. On the one hand I'd had seven great years with a woman I loved. On the other hand the woman that I loved had cheated on me. She said it was only the one time, but was she telling the truth? I had absolutely no way of knowing. I wouldn't have even known of this Amos guy if Cora hadn't decided that she needed my help so how the hell could I be sure that he was the only one. The sorry fact was that I couldn't. And that brought me back to the question that had sent Cora running from the room crying.
Was the baby mine?
By the time I pulled into the garage and shut off the car the thoughts had all boiled down to a single question. Did I help Cora or not? I was two-thirds decided to say yes and the overriding factor was the baby that Cora was carrying. If it was mine did I want it to come into this world in a prison or a jail cell? But there were still some questions to be asked.
