I met Emma at a party. I was in the last year of my PhD, studying Maths and Physics with a special interest in superconductivity. The party was a regular occurrence but although there was always booze and a bit of weed no-one got drunk and there was very little messing about. It was a crowd of friends and acquaintances from uni and we enjoyed long relaxed discussions, generally into the early hours of the morning.
I noticed Emma the moment she arrived. She was an exceptionally attractive girl and although not exactly revealing, her clothes were very much designed to accentuate rather than hide her superb figure. She parked herself on the fringe of my group and, while not making any verbal contribution, she listened attentively to everything that was said. I kept sneaking glances at her and admit that I possibly held the floor far more than I usually do.
As time passed the group gradually whittled down, some heading home and others finding somewhere to kip, until she and I were the only ones left. We carried on chatting for a long time until at the end I tentatively asked if I could take her for a drink sometime, even though I would never normally try so date a female so far out of my league. She said, "Why not tomorrow?" and ten months later we were married. It was the start of an idyllic wonderful six years.
Some months into our relationship, laughingly referring to how we met, Emma said, "If I had realised what kind of party it was I wouldn't have gone but once there I became fascinated by what people were saying, especially you. You explained everything so clearly that even I could understand. I only agreed to date you because I wanted to hear more of your ideas but quickly realised that you were the nicest, most intelligent and lovable person I had ever met and I knew I had to hang on to you."
I found a good job in research and for the first four years of marriage Emma worked in admin for an insurance firm. She then changed jobs to work in human resources for the local branch of a national sales organisation, (I can't be more specific because her firm could be too easily identified). She now earned a significantly larger salary but the down side that she was required to spend two nights away from home every year attending the annual sales conference. I found these absences hard to deal with.
As I said, life was perfect with the very first cloud on the horizon appearing in the weeks leading up to her most recent time away. It got particularly bad during the last month when she often appeared preoccupied and I almost felt that she had withdrawn from me. I could only think that it was the impending trip causing this effect but then she had returned from the two previous conferences seeming positively invigorated.
I somehow got through the two days without her although it felt worse than before but perhaps that was just my memory playing tricks. My reward was that when she arrived home the sun had come out because she was completely back to normal, happy, smiling and with a positive glow about her. She smothered me with love but in bed asked to be excused sex on the grounds of tiredness. Faced with my obvious disappointment she kissed me tenderly and promised that during the whole of the following week she was going to give me the best sex of my life.
What a week it was. Every day she wore one on my favourite outfits, prepared a favourite meal and made bed into a fantasy time. We must have gone through our full repertoire of positions and activities and I reckon that my cock was in her mouth more often during those six days than the whole of the previous six months. On the Friday we went out for a very expensive meal but so perfectly cooked that it was worth every penny.
On our return from the restaurant I poured two glasses of wine then, taking mine I sprawled on the settee, feeling that everything was well with the world but when she picked up her drink, instead of taking it to her usual chair, Emma joined me on the settee. Swivelling round to face me and looking deep into my eyes she said softly, "I want to say that I love you with all my heart and that these six years of marriage have been the happiest of my life."
I started to mutter reciprocal words but, talking over me, my wife went on, "I had to tell you that now Jim in case you don't believe me later. You see I've got a confession to make."
Not taking this seriously I grinned and asked light-heartedly, "Is that a small confession or a big one?
"Big," she said, letting the word hang in the air.
I can usually get Emma to smile easily but this time her face remained worried, even tense. "Come on," I joshed, "Surely nothing can be that bad."
"I'm afraid it is, you see I've lied to you right from the start of our relationship. I let you believe that I had only had sex with three men and that's not true at all."
I was a bit surprised but not shocked by this news. I think most girls downplay their sexual history to a potential life partner and I had always been a bit dubious about her admitted trio of lovers. "So how many - a dozen?" I said, deliberately guessing high so that she could make it sound better by coming down.
Emma shook her head sadly, "More. A lot more, I don't actually know how many and what makes it worse is the kind of men a lot of them were. If I wasn't actually in a relationship I'd go to bed with just about anybody just to see if they had what I was looking for."
I'm sure that my face now looked as grim as hers. "And what was that exactly?"
"A big cock, I was hung up on well endowed men."
I most definitely did not fall into that category so I remained silent not knowing quite what to say. Emma reached out to almost touch my hand but then withdrew her fingers, "Let me try to explain," she said quietly. "In the dark with no visual element, I don't think there is a lot of difference between female bodies and I reckon a man's potential pleasure from intercourse is in the range one to seven. In contrast men can be physically very different, so a female pleasure range is zero to ten and can even go negative but to hit that top score needs a talented lover with a nice large cock. Well the second guy to fuck me was just that. He finished up treating me badly but after that I was always looking for someone to make me feel the way he did."
In the past, when I heard it argued whether or not 'size matters' I always privately reasoned that logically it must but I had never heard the rationale described so graphically. "What do I score?" It was the obvious question.
"Four, occasionally five."
I think my face must have dropped badly because my wife hurried on to say, "But that's not the whole story. There is the other side of sex, fondling, teasing, pussy licking and pure imagination. You cannot be bettered in that department, so if you add your two scores together you actually come out better than a lot of men with huge cocks who only know how to poke a girl."
That sounded fine but I felt sure she only said it to save my feelings. "I don't understand why the kind of men they were made it worse?" I asked, mainly for something to say.
"In a normal male female interaction, men chase women and that puts her in charge. On the other hand large cocks are in short supply so men gifted that way are in demand and females chase them instead of the other way round. With most men like that it goes to their heads, they become rather arrogant and feel no need to restrict the more selfish side of their characters. Some turn into real bastards"
"If that was what you were looking for, why the hell did you marry me? From what you've just said, I was the last thing you wanted," I asked feeling suddenly very dispirited.
"Jim I fell in love with you because of what you are, largely because you are so different from that kind of male. I may have been chasing sexual highs but I wasn't happy, in fact most of the time I was miserable and totally disgusted with myself. It was like an addiction. I deliberately sought out dominant arrogant men and let them treat me like shit just because they offered the kind of sex I needed."
Once in a waiting room while glancing through one of the cheaper newspapers I spotted a picture of a well known, rather flamboyant, tycoon standing with his arm possessively round the waist of an exceptionally attractive woman. The contrast between them was startling because she was an absolute stunner and he had to be at least twenty years older than her. The caption which stated that they had just got married went on to point out that she had made her name as one of the top performers in the porn film industry. Although it was very obvious what he was getting out of the deal I did wonder how he felt knowing that his new wife had been fucked by so many men. That thought stuck in my head until I finally decided that he possibly derived a degree of titillation from the fact. The question now was whether I could do the same or would my current feelings of jealousy overwhelm me.
"Did you find your ten?
Emma nodded ruefully. "Yes one, he was called Baz. He was a real swine but I couldn't say No to him. He didn't work and got in lots of fights but he always had stacks of cash. At first he treated me well and I enjoyed the fact that he was a bit of a local celebrity but then he started getting more and more possessive and it deteriorated fast. It got so I couldn't even look at another lad without the danger that it would get him beat up but on the other hand, there were several times after we'd gone to a party together when Baz would blatantly take other girls up to a bedroom, leaving me just sitting there feeling like a fool."
"You put up with that?" I asked incredulously, finding it hard to believe that the female she described was the same woman I knew and loved.
"I did for a long time because I didn't want to lose the sex but in the end I told him that I didn't want to see him anymore. I was even prepared for violence from him but he just said 'Fair enough'. I knew it was too easy and a couple of weeks later he was knocking on my door. I let him in and we went to bed.
From then on for nearly two years that's how it was. Sometimes I didn't see him for three weeks or a month then there he'd be, if it was nice weather I'd find him sitting on the wall outside my flat. We fucked whenever he wanted even when I was dating other guys."
