Cold Hard Fax

Special Thanks to BlackRandi for organizing this event. I also appreciate her editing this story for me (which may cause her to NEVER organize another event ever again). While I have always been a legend in my own mind, I appreciate BlackRandi's efforts and invitation. While I have recycled a few characters in this tale, they are just stories and as always any and all errors are mine.

*

The sun was high over the ocean and I could feel the warmth on my face as I reclined back in my beach chair, singing along with Van Halen's "

Beautiful Girls"

on a blaring radio by my side.

" ...

now, I'm a seaside sittin', just a smokin' and a drinkin', I'm ringside, on top of the world.

I got a drink in my hand; I got my toes in the sand.

All I need is a beautiful girl..."

As I dug my toes deeper into the beach soil and took a swallow from my frosty beer bottle, I glanced over at my fiancée Janet. She was laid back in the chair next to me. Blinding rays from the sun made it hard to see Janet's face, so I reached out my hand to touch her.

Suddenly the vocals of Van Halen's David Lee Roth coming out of the radio were replaced with an annoying buzzing. Turning the station dial, or volume control on the radio did nothing to stop the aggravating noise, it was getting louder and...

SHIT! I opened my eyes to the still darkness of a cold bedroom.

I was not on the beach, but in my bed, the buzzing was the damn beeper jumping around on the nightstand with its irritating noise. Janet was beside me, in a deep sleep, hogging all the covers as usual. Anyone who thinks females are the weaker sex has never tried to pull the blanket off a sleeping lady on a cold night in a warm bed.

I silenced the beeper and peered at the number display.

"Damn, it's the TV station. F'n satellite dish deicers must have had failed again," I muttered.

Janet rolled over, but did not open her eyes. "Gary, did my snoring wake you?"

Janet was a loud snorer; most nights she sounded so much like a tornado was approaching I often was tempted to grab Toto and head for the cellar.

"Not this time, Janet," I showed her the beeper. "Damn ice storm last night probably has the satellite dishes froze up again. Let me call and then go warm up the car. If I am not back in 10 minutes, avenge my death."

Janet yawned before snuggling back into the warm covers. "I'll wait 20 minutes, but I promise nothing."

****

The clock display in the kitchen read 4:39 AM as I phoned in the number. A pleasant female voice answered on the second ring.

"Channel 4 Weather."

It was Vicki, the weekend weather anchor. Vicki, who was the talent for the weekend news, looked like your typical "Weather Bunny", young, blond, pert, with a tight body that had legions of male fans from college frats to senior homes tuning in to watch her deliver the weekend forecast. However, Vicki was not your common TV bubble headed teleprompter reading bleach blond. Vicki was a real actual licensed meteorologist with a Master's degree. It was common knowledge she was putting in her time doing weekend newscasts before moving to a more major market and bigger bucks.

"Hey, Vicki, it's Gary. Did you call me on this cold morning to come warm you up?"

"Why yes, Gary, but only if you bring your hot bride-to-be along. If you are a good little boy we may let you watch."

"Damn, Vicki I do not know if you are kidding or not."

Vicki was what is known as a lipstick lesbian. No one in the newsroom cared, and as long as she got ratings none of the brass gave a damn. Vicki had been around the mostly male TV business a while and could trade insults with even the most crusty of the Union crew.

Vicki gave a laugh. "My girlfriend catches us and she would break all three of us into pieces and not even work up a sweat."

This much was true, Vicki's long time live in companion was a truck diesel mechanic whose size made even the most hardcore homophobes keep their slurs out of her hearing range. With heart of gold, she adored Vicki and was more protective then a guard trained Doberman.

"Enough foreplay, Gary. Get your tiny dick out there and get my satellite dishes working, I need the morning NOAA maps."

Hanging up, I turned on the coffee maker and headed out to start the car.

****

As I came back in from starting my car, I flipped on the radio

"It is another great day in the Winter Wonderland!" The dumb ass radio jock crooned in fake enthusiasm. "Wind chill will keep us down around zero Fahrenheit and the high for today will be around noon at almost 10 degree! Break out the beach chairs and sunglasses!"

Janet walked into the kitchen with the blanket from the bed still wrapped around her. She stifled a yawn as she reached for the coffee pot as the DJ extolled Nokias new candy bar 200 phone over the strains of George Michaels and Elton John's latest song release.

"Janet, go back to bed," I said pointing at the clock still not at the 5AM point

Janet scratched her bed hair while pouring coffee. "Nah, Gary, I am up already and I want to go over my stuff for the church's Sunday school class today, Plus, later the girls and I are gonna do lunch after looking at bridesmaids outfits for our wedding."

While Janet stirred her cup, I, for the millionth time, wondered what I had done to get a girl like Janet. Even just out of bed, she was a hot babe, and I thought, out of my league. Janet was a dental assistant. We had met thru mutual friends. Quickly, "A" led to "B" and a few months later, we were living together. A year after that, I proposed, and in a few more months we would be married.

Janet voice broke into my thoughts "Gary, Gary, are you listening to me?" She was waving her hand in front of my face. "Don't forget we see Hal at the Pawn Shop later today. Hal said he got something to give you before you leave for Florida."

"Okay, Janet. I just hope it is something warm, because I just froze my nuts scraping ice off the damn car. Christ it is 1992 already; you think they would have something to keep ice away that worked."

Janet put her cup down, walking over to give me a kiss on the lips. "You know I appreciate you letting me keep my car in the garage." She trailed her hands to my waist while unzipping the fly to fish out my dick. "Maybe I can find a way to warm you up?"

Dropping to her knees, Janet engulfed me with her mouth.

"Okay," I thought, as all the blood rushed to my groin. "The Satellite dish ice will still be frozen, so a few more minutes won't matter..."

******

A burly older man buzzed Janet and I into the pawn shop. Hal limped a bit as he walked around the table to greet us. Janet gave me her coat and then ran to give him a warm hug.

I stamped my feet to shake off the snow and get some feelings back into my limbs.

Hal was a retired beat cop, the limp a result of a bullet in the hip from a punk in a botched robbery that got Hal both a commendation, and bounced off the Metro Squad on medical. He had bought a local Pawn shop and was well known as the man you went to solve things quietly, as he knew every cop and every robber.

Hal, as always, had a book in his hand. The man was a gimping encyclopedia, and I urged him to go on a quiz show and kick butt.

"Gary, come with me." Hal said. Still holding Janet's hand, he turned to gesture at the black massive bulk of a man sitting by the door. Hal employed him to keep transactions 'civil'. "Rayray, keep an eye on things, please."

Hal then pointed Janet at the jewelry display. "And you my beautiful bride, go check out some of the new shiny things we got in. I'll make you a good wedding price."

Janet squealed in glee and gave Hal another big hug. "Hal, you are the best!" Janet loved coming into the pawn shop and knew Hal always kept his eye out for items she might like.

I chuckled to myself as Janet dashed to the display case with Rayray eyeing her shapely butt.

As I followed Hal to the back room, I said "You do know Janet thinks she is a master bargainer and can talk you down on price."

Hall just grunted. "That will be the day atheists get insurance against acts of God. Business is business."

Now I had to laugh. "Really Hal? How did that turn out with the wedding rings?"

This time it was Hal that laughed. "I must be getting soft in my old age, besides that was different. I let your bride get the price on the wedding rings as a wedding gift."

As we reached the back room he asked "Tell me about this satellite thing again?"

"Okay Hal, General Motors owns the old Howard Hughes company 'Hughes Aerospace," now called Hughes Electronics. They are gonna put a bunch of satellites in the sky and compete with cable to let regular people at home watch CNN, ESPN, and other programs from the satellites."

Hal turned back to me. "Who is gonna put them big assed dishes in their backyard?"

"No, Hal, that is a C band signal. The C band needs a large 9 foot or so dish. The new service is called DirecTV and uses KU band, so any house can get the signal with just a dish less than two feet, about the size of a bedroom window Theses satellite dishes can be mounted anyplace you have a view of the sky."

Hal smiled, "And you are going to Florida... why?"

I rolled my eyes. "It is an old Nike missile relay compound way down in south Florida in the middle of nowhere. It will be used to pull down and uplink some Spanish stations from central and South America."

Hal stroked his chin. "What does your bride Janet think of moving?"

I pointed at the melting snow on my shoes. "What is not to like? Sun, sand and no snow. Game plan is I go first to set up this satellite place, come back for the wedding and we both move down around Miami. We will only be apart a couple of months. They set me up with a network TV station there after the satellite dish install. "

Hal seemed skeptical. "You sure? I thought Janet was a big skier?"

"Yeah, I had to promise a few ski trips up North for Janet. But hey, what can beat sex on the beach?"

Hal rolled his eyes. "Listen to me Gary. Marriage isn't just for you. It's not about you. Marriage is about the person you marry." He waved his hand. "Sex is sex, but sex will not make a marriage. More than 90 percent of women thought that being a good father was a very important quality in a husband, while less than half thought that being a good sexual partner was very important."

"Hal, it is not like Janet and I are virgins. Today it is not a big deal about who had what experience. It is not like she lost her virginity on the deck of the aircraft carrier USS Ranger to the flight crew. Besides I have such poor vision I can marry anybody."

Hal shook his head. "Your Dad and I go back to Korea. I promised him and your mom I would look after you. So while we are all born ignorant, do not be one of those who works hard to remain stupid, okay?"

Before I could answer Hal pulled down two white boxes off the shelf.

"What are these for?" I asked

Hal looked at me and grinned. "They are Fax machines you fool. The best thing since sliced bread. And no, I do not know what the best thing before sliced bread was."

Handing Janet's jacket to Hal before kneeling to look at the fax machine, I asked "Why can females carry a baby for nine months, but cannot carry a coat for 30 minutes?"

Hal shifted his coat to his other arm. "Got these brand new, never used, fax machines last week. A business went bankrupt and some of the employees got paid in office equipment. I figured you are gonna need a way to send papers and documents and such when you two are apart."

Standing up I said "Nice Hal, nice,"

Hal grinned enjoying his role as benefactor "Not going to need these soon. I read last year where a couple of guys, Berners-Lee, posted a short summary of the World Wide Web. The paper said The WorldWideWeb project aims to allow all links to be made to any information anywhere project on the alt.hypertext newsgroup, The project was started to allow high energy physicists to share data, news, and documentation. So the fax machines will be as obsolete as carbon paper in a few years. And you can get anything you need with a computer hook up."

"You mean, Hal, like the BBS? Janet is pretty computer phobic."

Hal waved his hand. "Much, much simpler to use. Going to change everything from porn to Space Shuttle launches."

I was studying the side of the fax machine box. "I hope the people working on that are smarter than the ones we got now who put braille on drive through bank machines."

******

Okay, South Florida in the summer months was not a "Prime Destination spot." The tiny town near my work site was hours away from nowhere. I mentally thanked Hal every day for the fax machines, as phone service in my location was spotty at best. Janet and I ended up mostly trading fax notes like two high schoolers passing notes in class.

Once we got the uplink operational, I knew I could piggyback off the beam for voice data to make free calls to Janet from the teleport site. We had been only separated a few weeks, and while the sexual sendoff Janet had gave me was still memorable, even for her, I still wanted to be together.

The town was a little more than a gas station which doubled as a video rental place and closest place to shop. I think churches outnumbered people, who were either seasonal migrant workers, confederate flag waving rednecks or black folk, like Rufus my host.

Because I did not want to drive two hours to the Uplink site every day, Rufus had rented me out his "guest house", which used to be the Overseer quarters back when Rufus' grandparents had lived under "different times."

Rufus was of undetermined age, and caretaker of the old Nike relay site that had closed in the late 1960s. Part of my rent was attending Rufus church service every Sunday. Now I had been going to church every Sunday morning as long as I can remember, but the Sunday event at the Holy Gospel First Baptist was nothing like my Catholic experience.

A voice with a strong Scottish accent broke into my thoughts. "Get up you lazy bastards! Lunch break is over," bellowed Shane MacIssac, the project manager/crew boss/lead engineer, also known as "Mac"

"I thought you Brits had tea time?" I answered back, knowing it needled Mac, a Scot, to be called British. Mac was former military and had a distain for anything not in precision.

Mac knew my jabs were in jest. I was a Military brat growing up on base and knew how the game was played.

Mac pointed his finger at me, but turned his attention to our roughnecks, the redneck crew wrapping up the remains of some type of meat sandwiches I could not identify on a bet.

Most all of the people in this town were the model of southern hospitality (although I did learn DammYankee was one word) but as in any group, you had your A holes.

"Red," was the leader of our manual labor gang. I do not think Red owned a shirt that did not have the sleeves torn off. With his pick-up truck flying the confederate flag, Red would have been right at home as an extra in the TV show "Dukes of Hazzard".

"Fucking calm down, Mac, this ain't your boat for special retard service." Red said as he took his time getting up while his similarity attired cronies snickered behind him.

"I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain to you about the Special Boat Service." Mac snapped back. "Get the next leg of the tower up before quitting time." He looked my way "Gary, I want the hard line terminated all the way to the ACU."

The crew groaned, and as I wiped the sweat off my brow, grabbing my tools, Red passed me by. "Now boys, look here at this Damn Yankee. Spent all his time in school, not like me that got 'Street Smarts'."

"That so, Red?" I answered back not looking at him. "What street would that be? Sesame Street? I mean you do look like a Muppet, were you Bert or Ernie?"

Red scowled at me but a look from Mac had him join the rest of his crew.

****

Returning to my small place, I was pleased to see several sheets of curled paper in the fax machine drawer. It had been Friday afternoon since I had last spoken with Janet. This was not uncommon, due to the bad phone service and our schedules, but what was uncommon is I had not gotten any "fax love notes" from Janet, despite sending a few out to her.

The cover sheet was not from Janet's fax number, but the number was from my hometown up north.

Even odder, the fax papers contained the mug shot and recent arrest report from my hometown PD on some guy I had never heard of.

Now, I had no idea who this grimy looking fellow was or why it was sent to my fax number. However, this was not the first time I had gotten a wrong fax delivery.

I dropped the papers into my lap as I sat on overstuffed chair in the small sitting room and turned up the noisy AC unit window unit.

"Is this is the new junk mail?" I thought, and glanced at the phone. "Janet would not be home for a while, so I might as well entertain myself." I began looking over the interaction this guy had with law enforcement from my ole stomping grounds up north.

The dude in the fax had been a bad boy, his address being well known as a "drug hangout" according to the report. In the cold factual verbiage of police reports everywhere, the details were laid out, an argument over drugs gone bad, guns and bodies. Sadly, one injury being a child.

Stretching my arm, I read the next part about bail and bond. It was $100K, with the 10% cash bond being paid by.....

Suddenly the whole room became ice cold and my pulse stopped. The bottom of the page displayed Janet's signature, neatly handwritten under her typed name as the person posting bond.

I stared at her signature I had seen a hundred times when my stomach objected. Never making it to the bathroom, I vomited into the kitchen sink. After heaving for several minutes, I rinsed out my mouth and returned to the papers scattered around the floor.

It was Janet's signature and the next page displayed a copy of a cashier check from our bank that told me where our house deposit money was now.

Grabbing the phone I had half dialed Janet's number when I stopped.

Only ONE person I know could have gotten this information.

Hal answered on the second ring.

"HAL! WHAT THE FUCK!"

He sighed before speaking. "I am so sorry to be the messenger, Gary. I was at hanging out at Metro PD bullpen BSing with some of the old gang Friday night, when I saw Janet at receiving. I was heading over to talk to her when they released that scumbag." Hal hesitated before continuing. "You do not need to be a detective to know the greeting they gave each other was one of a long history together. And I do not mean a long lost cousin."

"Fuck Fuck FUCK!!" I muttered into the phone.

There was silence before Hal spoke again. "I still got some friends on the squad and I wish I had better news. That asswipe is a real long term douchebag, and his one phone call after booking was to Janet."

I was holding the phone so hard my hand was going numb, so I forced myself to relax. "Damn HAL! Why? Why? You sure this was not a relative? A cousin or something? Without data, you are just another person with an opinion."

Hal reflexively went into 'just the facts' mode every cop uses when on the witness stand. "Gary, anything is possible. However, the welcome that scumbag gave Janet was one I never saw at any family reunions, unless on the Jerry Springer Show about inbreeding."

The phone felt like a snake in my hand.

"I... I can't even begin to process this Hal. We have only been away from each other a couple of weeks. I mean, she just faxed me over the damn guest list for the wedding last week! Why would Janet do something so stupid?"

"Listen, Gary, you now I like Janet, but the average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think."