My hands shook as I opened the door to my car. I was trembling with a mix of anticipation, fear, desire, and guilt. I was about the cheat on my husband Graham for the first time. All my life, I had been a loyal and faithful partner in relationships, first as a girlfriend to three men who all cheated on me and then with Graham, the love of my life for the past twenty-two years. In all our time together, not once did I suspect Graham of infidelity and never had I even considered it as a possibility for me.
Until I met Roger.
It began shortly after our youngest child, Maggie, left home for college. Graham was a workaholic and spent increased time at the office and on business trips. To combat my boredom, I got a job at an insurance company. The duties were mundane and the pay low, but it got me out of our empty house.
Roger was a stunningly good looking underwriter, with a body that clearly indicated he worked out daily, piercing blue eyes that seemed to know your deepest desires, and rugged, manly charisma that instantly made me start to tingle in places I had not tingled in a long time. I would melt whenever he was near.
At first, the flirtation was one-sided, but soon I found myself responding and flirting back. I had no intention of it ever turning into anything more. I was happily married. Graham and I had not had sex in more than six months, but marriage is not just about sex. Graham was my partner and the person I intended to grow old with. I knew what it felt like to be cheated on by someone you love and I was determined to never do that to Graham.
Unfortunately, our bodies and desires have a way of overpowering our logical, rational minds. We started having lunch together, daily. We would talk about everything, but often Roger would lead the conversation to sex. I found myself opening up to this man I barely knew in ways I never could with my own husband. I even told him my secret fantasies and darkest desires.
At Roger's prompting, I would go home and try his suggestions out on Graham. Graham was surprised by my amorous attention, but our sex life resumed and quickly improved. Little did he know that the next day, I would be describing everything to Roger in erotic detail. Roger wanted to hear everything I did and everything I felt. I would get extremely aroused telling Roger about it.