Ch 02 Courting Mallory

FORWARD:

This story deals with consensual cuckoldry. If this is not your thing, please move on and keep your negative comments to yourself. As an 'ethical' Bull, I do not condone cheating behavior. All my interactions as a Bull have been with the informed consent of all parties involved, the enthusiastic consent of the husband, and the unconditional willingness of the wife (she wants it for herself, not to please her husband).

If you are looking for graphic sex heavy literature, please don't bother to read and rate, this is very much softcore erotica (think NC-17/Soft X). There is no humiliation and degradation taking place, so if you are looking for that, then you should not bother reading any further. This series has dark unhappy moments in it, which will be forthcoming in the progression of the storyline. There are some legitimate hurt feelings coming later in the story on all sides. It all works out in the end. It isn't all sunshine and rainbows being a bull for the first time. This story talks about how it was for me at the beginning. Much has changed in 30 years, and I'm no longer quite so naïve, nor timid about things. We now have the internet, Facetime, and smart phones. Experiences change people and expectations shift. The reason that I was able to meet such an affluent couple was because I was a fencing instructor and personal trainer at the 3rd oldest health club in the United States and the club is 150 years old as of this year. Membership is pricey and people who go there tend to be very affluent.

This installment reveals how hard it can be for the wife trying to find her first bull and "date" them and come to an understanding with their bull. There are REAL vulnerabilities, insecurities, and frustrations. It's important for any cuckold to recognize how their wife might feel. The reality is that it's often very demoralizing and challenging for a wife to start back in the dating world. It also illustrates why a truly supportive cuckold is vital in the dynamic. Being a cuckold is not necessarily a sign of weakness or unmanliness. If you are a cuckold, be proud that you love your wife so selflessly that you don't try to restrict her sexual freedom nor base your relationship on sexual exclusivity.

Chapter 2: Courting Mallory

There are some things that you should know about Mallory and Calvin. The first is Calvin remains the absolute love of her life, our relationship did not change that at all. The second is why she didn't move onto another person and kept pursuing me. A huge part of that was due to Calvin's intervention on my behalf. The following is paraphrased from Calvin and Mal's accounts shared with me months after beginning the relationship. The other thing you should know is that Calvin was not an ideal candidate for penile implants. The many compounding risk factors dealing with his health were too great at the time. The 1990's were before DaVinci Robotic Surgery and modern implants & techniques. Thirty years ago, we didn't have the advances in medicine we do today. So yes, he was functionally limited, and I was a sexual surrogate. Mal felt safer having her first extramarital relationship being more like a high school romance, which she never had. I was her second lover, and she wanted it to be more than just a booty call situation.

The week before:

"It's done, he's coming over to the house and I will talk to him darling", he remarked as he held her close to his chest and stroked her back with his fingertips.

She had been crying again - full on ugly crying with snot bubbles, puffy eyes, swollen lips, and smeared make-up. We had just been out on a "platonic friend" date and I had ruined it by not picking up the obvious signals that she wanted me to tell her how I felt about her. Rejection sensitivity keeps many women from becoming hotwives. Mal was no different, she was fragile and easily crushed despite her fierce outward demeanor.

We were watching fireworks burst over the local minor league baseball team's stadium. We laid out a picnic blanket and were watching from the hillside overlooking the stadium. They had "Lawn" tickets to the games, meaning people could bring their lawn chairs and dogs and sit out past the outfield. Mal had taken care to pack an amazing picnic for the evening. These were her favorite type of dates to go on with me when the weather was agreeable. She joked I was her "substitute" husband since Calvin couldn't usually make it out.

Mal laid next to me on the blanket and insisted on playing a game called 20 Questions. The game was not the traditional version. In this game, each player took turns asking 'twenty questions'. The only caveat was that the other person had to tell the truth. There were no dodges allowed, and no "making up" answers. However, you could not be compelled to betray confidences. The questions with us always started off timidly. They did not stay that way.

With a few questions remaining, it was Mal's turn again.

"Alright, Connor... If you 'HAD' to make out with a friend, who would you choose and why? It must be the friend you most want to kiss.", she asked.

"That's a tough one sugar booger. I'm already into someone, but I can't talk about it.", I responded.

"Um, nope. You must give an answer. You know the rules." She said while poking her finger into my chest.

"How about I describe her and why, but don't give you the name? I will give every other detail", I replied.

"Alright, but I get THREE guesses and if I get it you have to tell me!" she exclaimed.

There were only three other female friends in my life at that time. Mal knew them all. There was Georgia who was a nurse, my old friend Sara who was always out of town, and my very lesbian friend Cubana.

"Sure, if you guess I will tell you. But it doesn't mean I'd make out with them. That's not the question."

She chided, "You're such a little bitch, just go already."

"The friend has seen me naked already..."

Interrupting she asked, "You know that doesn't narrow that down you little Jaybird. Haven't all your friends seen you naked? You're killing me smalls."

I continued, "They are my age, crazy beautiful, wicked smart..."

Interrupting again, "Smarter than you? Cause that wouldn't narrow it down much. Aren't all the women in your life smarter than you are?"

Mal had a way of being obnoxious and I got sensitive quickly.

"I don't want to play anymore. I think I'd like to go. I'll help you take this stuff back to the car."

Mal kept her composure but was crushed with me shutting down. Angry with herself, feeling the despair of having upset me. I'd been though a very abusive marriage and even jokingly belittling me was triggering. Mal didn't know any other way to be. She was blunt around me. I was the one person, other than Calvin, where she didn't want to filter her thoughts.

Recognizing she'd gone too far and trying to shake it off, she asked, "Alright, I didn't mean for you to get butthurt cowboy. Still friends?"

"Of course, you can't run me off that easily. You've got to try at least twice as hard as that!", I joked with her.

"Do you want to just crash at our place?" she asked.

"No, my dad needs my help early in the morning, but I can come by after if you want.

We can hit the movie theater that serves alcohol and pizzas."

After the car was loaded, she got in the passenger side and promptly curled up facing the window and pretended to sleep. I could tell she was upset. I felt like I had overreacted.

I placed my hand on her leg and gave it a gentle squeeze. She let out a soft whimper which let me know she was awake. We rode to her house, afraid to say anything to each other. Not wanting to make the situation worse or more uncomfortable. When we arrived, I pulled into the garage and helped bring in what remained of the picnic.

Calvin was waiting for us and asked how the game was as he rummaged through the picnic basket.

We talked about the game and his day, and then I needed to depart for home. I confirmed with Mal that she was up for the 2 o'clock showing at the boozy movies. As I turned to leave, she cleared her throat and stuck her cheek out. She expected that air kiss and a hug before I left. I reached down and picked her up from the ground in a bear hug. Her feet dangling while I made cartoonishly loud kissy sounds. "MUAH! Wait! One more... that first one wasn't enough. Other cheek please, MUAH!"

She walked me to the front door smiling and then grabbed my wrist, turning me to face her.

"Look you know I love you right? I'm sorry about tonight. Mom keeps telling me I need to be more sensitive about how I speak to people, particularly you." she said looking at the ground.

I kissed the top of her head and told her I would get over it. As I walked to my motorcycle in the driveway, I looked back at her silhouetted in the doorframe. Putting on my helmet, I looked at her and called out "By the way, one last hint for your kiss question."

"What is it?" she called out.

"She's the only woman that can break me with an unkind word." I shouted to her as I drove off into the night.

In my mind, what I was trying to tell her was "It's you. It's always been you since the day we met. You are the one person I want to kiss and will never have the chance. I don't care that you hurt me."

Instead, I had unintentionally cut her deeply. What she heard was "It was you, but probably not anymore after that caustic mouth of yours."

What I didn't see was her sinking to the floor by the door sobbing. Nor that Calvin picked her up like a tiny child in his arms and carried her to the couch. He held her so tenderly and cradled her in his arms. After crying and blowing her nose on his dress shirt, she meekly said, "I messed up so bad. I always mess up. Why do I do it? Why?"

He asked her to tell him everything. Reminding her that his love was unconditional, and he promised her in advance not to hurt me.

She proceeded to tell him about the evening from the very beginning. How it was going so well... and then how she carelessly belittled me. She told him it wasn't what she meant to say. She only wanted to coax me into confessing my feelings for her.

He looked down at her in his arms. "You were fine until he left. What did he do or say that hurt you so badly? You fell to the ground like a sack of potatoes." She looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"That the only woman he wanted to kiss more than anything can 'break him' with an unkind word." She sobbed, "He thinks I'm mean and only hurt him! He's going to get tired of me and I can't fix it. Everything is going to be ruined. And it's going to be my fault."

Calvin ran his massive hands over her body as he held her. It was at that moment that Calvin resolved to give her hope.

"That boy loves you darling. He's just really broken. Your mom called it, he's sensitive. It's a good thing..."

She interrupted, "How is that a good thing? I can't go a day without hurting him with my big fat mouth."

Calvin brushed the tears from her eyes with his thumb. Pulling her up, he kissed her remaining tears away from her puffy closed eyes. "You may hurt him every day, but he keeps running back to you darling."

"Listen, I'm sure that you missed the most important part of what he said. Guys are idiots who aren't adept at communicating, especially if they are upset.", he said reassuringly.

He continued to explain to her, "Baby, he used the qualifier - the only woman he wanted to kiss more than anything...'could break him with an unkind word'." He explained that I had admitted I wanted her. He also asserted that I was open enough to indirectly confess the power she held over me.

"Mal, do you want my thoughts on how to proceed here?" he asked her gently. "I don't want you to keep crying like this. And no, I don't think you've ruined everything."

She nodded and buried her face in the crook between his arm and chest. As he brushed the hair behind her flushed ear, he consoled her, "You two are getting hurt because you refuse to communicate with each other. He doesn't know it's all right and that we both want this in our lives. You need to let him know you want him in the 'friends with benefits' way. As much as he frustrates you by not coming out and saying how he feels, you are guilty of the same thing."

He continued, "The way I see it, you can't handle any more ambiguity. It's devastating for you. If you want to know where you stand, then come out and ask him directly. I cannot guarantee how he will react. My gut tells me that he's afraid to lose both of us. He can't help falling in love with you. And, given that his ex-wife was sleeping around on him, I'll bet Connor doesn't want to feel like he's enabling cheating."

"What should we do then? What do we tell him? How do we tell him?" she pleaded with her husband.

"We are going to tell the truth. I'm going to invite him over for the big game next Friday. It will be just us, no other guests. You will be out with your mom shopping as always. I will advocate on your behalf and make him understand that you both have my blessing and that this isn't cheating."

"What do I do?" she asked.

"You go shopping with your mom. I want you to take our time and write him a letter. I will hand it to him and watch him read it. I'll proof-read it for you to "disaster check" it. Right before you are scheduled to get home, I will leave for Big Mike's house after the game and tell Connor to stay and wait for you. Write down how you feel. Tell him what you want. He's so gun shy and obtuse that you need to spell it out for him. His confidence will improve drastically once he knows how things could be."

"Okay big daddy, but what if he doesn't stay? What if he gets weirded out and never speaks to us again?", she worried aloud.

He lifted her up from the couch and carried her like a child to the bedroom.

"We aren't going to worry about it. It must be his choice. If he says no, then we're going to Europe so you can get space and get over him for a few months. If you want this to be, then you must make him decide. Be strong, loving, and firm with him."

Calvin covered her with a light blanket and turned out the lights. Removing his clothes, he returned to the bed holding her until dawn in his arms.

Back to where we left off:

Mal sat down in the oversized dining room chair at the head of the table. I could feel her piercing gaze as she asked me if I felt her husband had given his blessing.

"Yes, I feel like he has. It doesn't mean that I am not worried about him getting upset."

She squeezed my hand. "I think we've hurt each other by not being open with one other. That needs to stop going forward. Do you agree?"

I nodded in agreement, and she gently said to me "Use your words. I don't want there to be any misunderstandings."

"Yes, I agree." I said softly.

"Also, before we go any further, my answer is 'Yes, I am going to be your girlfriend', and we are going to talk about how to make this arrangement work for both of us."

Mal went on to explain that she wasn't leaving Calvin, and this was not something that they were doing on a whim. Although she had Calvin's blessing, she wanted to tread very carefully with this and take it slowly. She explained that I needed to get tested.

"It's not that I don't trust you. It's that your wife cheated on you, and she may have given you something." She confided in me as she handed me a large manilla envelope. "Those are my test results. As you can see, I am clean. I need a copy of yours before that fat cock of yours goes anywhere near me."

I told her that I had been tested about 3 months ago and would bring the results to her. I told her that I had not had sexual contact since my divorce. If she wanted me to take the test again, I would.

"No, just bring me the results tomorrow. I'm going to show Calvin to put his mind at ease."

"You know we can just use condoms if you are both really worried about it. No disease, no unexpected pregnancy."

"Connor, um, condoms aren't going to work. I'm allergic to latex. And while they have the non-latex ones, I doubt they'd fit you. They come in one average size and we both know that you are above average."

I asked her about pregnancy risk. She told me that she had an IUD. If she got pregnant through that, then she and Calvin had agreed it was God's will. She reassured me that it wasn't going to be a problem and that it brought her to one of her more pressing concerns.

"Amorcito, we can only do this if you agree to be sexually exclusive with me. That means that bitch Andrea who keeps asking you out at the gym is off limits. If we're dating, then I'm the only one you are dating. If it ever becomes too much or you regret our arrangement, then you must let me know. There is no reason to cheat on me or lie to me."

"She was never in my consideration set. That's why I didn't accept all those offers to go out to dinner with her."

She continued, "While you will not have sex outside of our relationship, I will still have marital relations with my husband. He may not be able physically to fuck or cum in me, but his mouth and fingers work fine. It's very important that you understand that Calvin will always be my priority and the love of my life. I won't see him hurt or deny him affection. His approval of this arrangement and encouragement is very special. Be mindful to always be respectful with him. This is going to be a bumpy ride for everyone. He's going to get jealous and insecure at times. You must be gentle with him always."

Mal went on to discuss the basics of the arrangement. She said that she and Calvin didn't have any crazy requirements. She listed them out for me.

The first one we covered already; I would be sexually exclusive with her. Second, that she controlled who knew. I wasn't allowed to tell anyone we were more than friends. Due to their position in local society, I understood that discretion was a firm requirement. If anyone asked, I was just a dear friend. If confronted, she was not going to be forced into a response. She wanted me to fully understand that she would vehemently deny it was more than just friendship. Third, that I understood that her marriage with Calvin came first in all things. And finally, I understood she expected me to treat her like an actual girlfriend. She said that she didn't want a casual 'fuck buddy'. She expected it to be a "BFF with Benefits" kind of scenario.

She finished the ceviche and grabbed the bottle of wine from the table. She beckoned me to my usual guest room and laid across the king-sized bed. "Hop up, prospect. We must run some tests before we make it official."

Almost reading my mind she said "Don't look shocked. You know there is the "kiss" test. We are going slow tonight. Only hungry mouths and gentle hands darling. We aren't doing anything more because if Calvin has a meltdown, I want to be able to manage it. My mom told me that men say they will be fine with it, but then reality meets fantasy and it's too much for a lot of husbands. It's best to go slow with them just in case."

Losing composure, "Wait, you talked about this with your MOM?!?"

"Yes, I discussed this with my mom -- you know we have no secrets. Hasn't this been made clear to you? And YES, I discussed being with you romantically when Calvin first proposed I take a lover. She was in a similar situation and took a lover with my father's blessing. She isn't from the United States, in Spain they have a completely different view of marriage. They are less puritanical about it. Discretion is an absolute mandate. My dad had a stroke, so that was the end of their sex life. He didn't want her to be alone or not have her needs met, so they had a discrete arrangement. He even helped her find suitable lover."

"So, she knew that we were going to talk about all this tonight?", I said as calmly as I could muster.