Have you ever looked back at something you did and said, "Where the hell did that come from? I don't do things like that anymore!" I'm a 42 year old woman, married for 21 years to the same man, with 4 kids and a house in the suburbs. So the story I'm about to tell you came as a surprise to me too.
Valentine's Day arrived like any other day - middle of the week, kids have school, parents have work, cards at the breakfast table, and a couple of hastily wrapped gifts. BORING!!
My husband Will tried to be the loving spouse on a budget, and bought me some candy. I loved the gesture.
"Aw Honey, I love the caramels. But I don't like Swedish fish candy. I never have, but for some odd reason you think I do."
"Dad, you are such a dope," our teenage daughter chimed in. I could see he was a little hurt, but I still laughed out loud with her.
"Here Honey, you eat the fish," I continued as I handed him the bag.
After the last of the kids had left for the school bus he turned to me and said, "Fine Dierdre, I'll eat the fish, but only if you make them taste like fish."
"Oh, are we fresh or what you lecher?" I could see where this was heading.
The bag of Swedish fish stayed on his night table for the next few weeks. More than one kid asked me if Dad was going to eat the candy. They were all volunteering to take the fish off his hands. I kept them at bay by saying, "he'll eat them when he's ready."
Will and I have a pretty hectic schedule that starts early and ends late every day. I work retail and don't have to be in until 10 in the morning. Which does get me home in time to prepare dinner. But Will works shift-work. He leaves at around 4 o'clock in the afternoon and gets home after midnight. The morning school schedule has the first kids out the door at 6:45 and the last one leaving about 8-o'clock.
I tell you all of this so you can picture what happened. Every day I am up a full 2 hours before Mr. Bear rolls his sad carcass out of bed. So while I'm full of piss and vinegar, he sleepily arrives downstairs, scratching his balls and looking for coffee.
"Gotta go," I said. "I am not going to be late for work today!" No real reaction, just a mumble about coffee as I ran up the stairs 2 at a time.
I went into our bathroom and immediately stripped for my shower. I pranced in front of the mirror for a few seconds and looked at myself. I ran my hands over my tummy and then around my back across my ass. "Not bad for an old married broad, who popped out 4 kids," I thought. I have a medium build with a little extra in the hips and butt. My tits are not big, but I have great nipples that stick out like little penises. And I keep my pussy nice and trim. Will says he likes it that way because he can see past the dark hair to my white flesh and pink lips. He calls it "my pretty pussy."
I decided to sit down on the toilet and give my "pretty pussy" a little maintenance trim. As I started to clip my pubes, I got that old familiar feeling down there. "It's been a while since the old man and I did the deed," I thought. And that got me thinking. Taste like fish, huh?
I jumped up and looked for the bag of Swedish fish. They were still on the night table, right where he had left them. The bag held about twenty or so of the candies and the fish where all different colors. Each one was about 2 inches long. I opened up the bag and grabbed one. The fish felt rubbery but not slimy like a real fish might. I started to rub the fish in-between my pussy lips. "Oh, that feels good. I wonder if they smell like real fish now?" So I held it up to my nose and caught that wonderful smell of sex.
But it wasn't getting slippery like a fish. Then I thought, what would happen if I slipped it in. That should get it nice and juicy, I thought. I grabbed the bag and ran back into the bathroom. I closed the door in case he showed up, although I doubted it seeing he hadn't had any coffee yet. I propped my foot up on the toilet and attempted to insert a fish.
I slowly worked the fish in and out of my pussy. The fish and me were getting wetter by the second. But how could I feed Will all these fish if I have to flavor them one fish at a time? Then it hit me; I took my finger and pushed the fish all the way into my now opening gash. It quickly disappeared. I grabbed another fish and slid it in. Then another, then another. "Keep swimming boys, we'll be spawning soon," I laughed out loud.
As I continued to load my now bulging snatch with Swedish fish, I realized I had emptied more than 3/4 of the bag. It didn't feel like a cock, but it made me feel full. Somehow, as opposed to a nice hard dick that slides in and stretches my walls, this felt like a million little tongues all poking and prodding my insides. "This is delicious," I whispered.
I took my foot down and stood there while I adjusted to my new friends. Then I walked back and forth a few steps, and with each movement the swimming fish sent shivers through my belly. I grabbed one more fish, a nice red one, from the bag and headed for the stairs.
I plotted my course of action. Our stairs have a landing half way down, then turn before they continue to the first floor. I quietly moved myself to the first step just after the landing and sat down. I spread my legs wide open and leaned back, my elbows on the landing. I took the fish I was holding and began masturbating with it. My clit was already engorged from all the playing and fish stuffing upstairs. As I lay there frigging myself, I could feel my orgasm beginning to swell.
"Will, can you come help me? I'm having a problem with the shower." Not a word. But then I heard him put the paper down and push the kitchen chair back. He slowly and quite unenthusiastically shuffled towards the stairs. As he turned the corner he had his head down and didn't even notice me at the top of the landing.
"Hey Honey, wanna go fishin'?"
He jumped back. "Holy shit Dierdre, what the hell are you doing?"
"Just waiting for you. I thought if I came up with a creative way to remind you that I don't like Swedish fish in my MOUTH, maybe you'd remember next time."
Slowly the sleeping bear was getting the message and turning into a wolf. His boxer shorts were getting that familiar tilt and his tongue was hanging out.
"And what would you like me to do with the fish?" He blurted.
"Eat them silllllllyyyy. Here, this one was swimming by and I caught it for you. But you know the old saying, 'give a man a fish and he eats for a day, teach a man to fish and eats for a life time.'"
All this time I was still gently rubbing my clit with the little red fish. I took the fish I was masturbating with and stuck it head first into my open vagina and left it hanging half in and half out. "Hungry baby? Want to learn a new way to fish?"
Will got the message. He slowly worked his way up the stairs as he stripped off his tee shirt and boxers. His cock was huge. You'd think he hadn't seen a pussy in years.
In the sluttiest voice I could muster up I said, "nice pole, I bet you'll catch a lot of fish with that rod."
"Especially if your snatch is the bait box," Will said. Little did he know.
I moved my hands away from my body so Will had an unobstructed view of my pussy with the fish sticking half way out. He took the fish in his teeth and slowly pulled it out. Then he began to move it up and down the length of my slit. He then sucked the fish into his mouth while he continued the same up and down motion, expect this time with his tongue. "Oh God, does that feel good," I said screamed.
I realized I had a pussy full of fish and needed a more comfortable place to continue our fishing trip. I jumped up and said, "did you like that honey? Well follow me, there is more where that came from."
I crept up the stairs step by step. As I knew he would, he started to grab at my ass by rubbing it and slapping at it. Old habits die hard. Little did he know what a sensational effect that was having on me because the fish inside my aching hole were jumping around like Mexican jumping beans.
"Stay there until I call you," I said. Then I climbed on top of the bed and stacked some pillows against the headboard. I sat upright and got comfortable with my back almost straight, my knees pulled up and my feet planted wide apart. What a view that must have been.
"Okay, come closer. But don't touch until I say so." One of the things I love is when Will sucks my breasts and bites my nipples. I get instantly wet whenever he does this. I was determined to make this an experience for both of us. I had him sit directly opposite me. I reached down to my pussy and hooked a finger into my already slick hole. I felt a fish and slowly pulled it out. Will sat there with his mouth wide open and his cock fully erect.
As I balanced the slimmy slippery fish across the nipple of my right tit I said, "Okay big boy, eat your fish."
Without a word Will moved forward and took the fish from my heaving breast with his teeth. He bit me ever so slightly and I tingled. "Uhmmmmm, did you like that? So did I," I said.
But before he could answer, I raised my finger to my lips to quiet him. Then I lowered my hand to my pussy, plunged in again, and fished out another fish. I placed this fish on my left nipple. Will is a fast learner and was immediately on my tit once I removed my hand. He again took the fish in his mouth, gave my nipple a nip, and ate the fish.
"I can tell you one thing, these fish are the fishiest fish I've ever eaten," he said with a filthy smile.
"So do you like Swedish fish any more now then you did two weeks ago?"
"Absolutely. And your homemade fish broth that they've been swimming in makes all the difference in the world."
"Well how about some more?" I said as I pushed him back.
"How many you got in there?" he said.
"I don't know. I didn't count, but I can safely say there are more still in there, than have come out so far."
"Holy shit"