God I Am Dying for Tonight to Come

We had now been married for two years. And married life was suiting me right down to the ground. I must say that I am in no way a supermodel. Yet, I kept myself in good shape for my husband. I only wanted one man in my life and told him so. When I went out, I would get many wolf whistles. Their eyes would scan my body from top to toe. I knew what they were thinking. I am shapely and have a nice bust size. When they glared at me all wanted to get me in bed for one thing. It made me feel so sexy and good.

I worked in an office with ten women and two young men. The two men just wanted to get all into bed for one thing. Six of them had already been to bed with them to fool them.

My name is Karen. I first met James three years ago. It was love at first sight. Three months later, James asked me to marry him. And nine months later, we were married.

James had a job that took him away from home two days a week. He left on Monday night straight from work. When he gets home on Thursday nights, he sits down and fills in his five-year diary. He must have thought it was important for all his work trips!

He made notes about Golf and Tennis games; and when he went fishing! We both were members of the Golf and Tennis clubs. We socialised with six good friends. Our good friend's names are Jack and Mary Davis, Frank and Jean Goodwin, and Terry and Cath Moore.

When James is at home, he makes notes in his 5-year diary. It takes him five minutes. He leaves the Diary in our tall bookcase.

Two years have now passed. He makes notes in his 5-year diary.

On Friday night I gave James a long loving smile.

"James, I want to come off the pill and have two children!" I said to him,

It was not the right subject I soon found out.

"NO, I don't want any kids, I just want us two," he said.

He was great with other kids who lived on the road. He seemed to have plenty of time for them and a good deal of patience. I thought he would be a great father. James did not want any part of the subject.

Every time I brought it up, he soon changed it. As the night wore on, you could feel the tension building up. James did not want to talk about kids. I pushed and pushed for an answer that night. You would have thought World War Three had broken out. James stormed off to bed.

For the next two days, you could cut the atmosphere with a knife. Yes, James did not want any children at all.

James goes to work on Monday to prepare for his two-day trip.

While James was away on his two-day trip that evening, I tried to watch TV. I was thinking about James all the time. I was mulling over whether the row we had on Friday night was right or not. I was missing him and dying for him to come home. I wanted him so much.

I turned off the TV and then I went to the bookcase to find something to read. I needed something to take my mind off James. Touching his 5-year diary, it fell off the tall bookshelf. I picked it up and started to look through it. Nothing in it but I noticed letters and numbers that all had no meaning. I never gave it a second thought so I put it back in the bookcase.

Found a book and I sat down to read. Tuesday night I went to the bookcase. I thought I would carry on with that book I started to read last night; I picked it up and found the page. I was still trying to take my mind off James. Wednesday night I went to the bookcase. I thought I would carry on with that book I started to read last night; I picked it up and found the page. I was still trying to take my mind off James.

Back at the bookcase thinking about what James wrote down in his diary. I picked the book I was reading and found the page where I left off. I read a few pages more. Back to the bookcase and picked up his diary.

I opened it on the day we first met. That was the first year we met. God, he had made notes about our first two months of dating. He made notes down to the colour and style of my hair and down to the colour of my shoes. He described the shape of my body. I was blushing with a lump in my throat, tears running down my face. I was gobsmacked at what James said about me. It told me he was in love with me.

Then I started to read the next nine months before we were married. It was just like a love novel on the everyday page. What he had written about me was just incredible. I could not put down his diary. I read the next two years of his diary. Every word I read he was in love with me. He had written down the shape and curves of every part of my body. He knew every part of my body. It was the middle of the night and I had to go to bed.

I planned a good homecoming for Thursday night. I was going to wear my short dress with a plunging neckline to show off my bust. Went to the hairdresser, then a hot bath, I made sure I was smooth. My nails went on his favourite perfume. Then I made a candlelight dinner. It was a timed one. I dressed for the kill.

James came in. I ran to him shouting out I love you so very much. Kissing him long and hard I wrapped my legs around his waist. He held me and walked straight to the bedroom. Dinner had to wait a while. Our bed was going to get punished for hours on end. We made love three times. He was a good lover. Thank God the meal was a timed one.

About nine he sat up and turned to the side of the bed. I looked at his back, my eyes popped out. On his back were long scratch marks on both his shoulders they were not made by me. He went to the toilet. I followed him and we returned to the dining room for a drink and a bite to eat.

God, I now had something to think about. He was cheating on me. Who with, how long, younger, or older than I am who is she? I had to find out more before I could dare challenge him. Picked up my mobile phone and we went back to the bedroom. We made love twice.

He fell asleep before me. I picked up my phone and photographed the long scratch marks on both his shoulders. He went fishing on Saturday until three pm then came home. He fills in his diary for Saturday!

Then he went out to fill the car up with petrol while he was out. I picked up the diary. I was looking at the pages with groups of letters and numbers that had no meaning. He had written down that this Saturday was meaningless.

I kept on glancing through his diary and what I found were letters all jumbled up. I tried to work out the meanings and got nowhere. Sunday, we went and played rounds of Golf with our friends.

If he was having an affair and I had to find out?

James went to work on Monday, preparing for his next two days away. His trips were always to the same three places. The company paid for the hotel, and meals. He had a rolling booking at each hotel. He used the same room in case I had to get hold of him in a hurry.

That Monday at work in my lunch hour. I searched for a PD in each city he visited for work. I found PD in each of the cities. I rang the first PD and asked for him to check up on James. I told him the name of the hotel and room number. Asked for photos and recordings of him in his hotel room and told him his full name.

"He would have to get a move on, and get the hotel to agree for the camera installed for tonight," he said.

I gave him my mobile number.

"Can we use a code word," I said.

I did the same thing for the second week and the third week using the code word HELP!

James is now preparing for the first of his two-day trips. Looking at the letters in the diary. As hard as I tried, it made no sense to me.

He comes home Thursday night. I flung myself at him shouting out I love you. Kissing him long and hard I wrapped my legs around his waist. He held me and walked straight to the bedroom. That bed of ours received a good deal of punishment that night.

Friday James goes to work. I rang the PD.

"Do you have any information for me?" I said to him,

"I don't have anything until late Saturday then I will write a full report... If there is anything to tell you I will call you in the afternoon," he said.

We played tennis from noon to five. I had to wait until Monday to find out. Sunday, we went to the Golf club to hang around with our friends. Yes, our love was high for both nights.

James prepares for the second of his two-day trips.

I made two calls, the first one to the second PD.

"All is arranged," he said.

Then I made my call to the first PD. This one I was dreading. The phone was answered by a lady.

"I can see all the information is on his desk!... He was ill on Saturday and is being kept in for a few days...If there are any changes, she will let me know," she said.

For the next three nights, I read the diary!

I knew it was code but could not figure it out. I must be dumb or stupid. It made no sense.

He comes home Thursday night. I flung myself at him shouting out I love you. Kissing him long and hard I wrapped my legs around his waist. He held me and walked straight to the bedroom. That bed of ours received a good deal of punishment that night.

James goes to work on Friday. I called the first PD. "Do you have any to tell me?" I said.

"I have some bad news; your husband is having an affair!" he said.

I was speechless for some time.

"Everything I have will be with you on Monday."

I asked. "If he would do the same in two and five weeks."

I intended to ask the other two PDs to do the same. Then I called the second PD.

"I have some bad news; your husband is having an affair!" he said.

I was speechless for some time once again.

When James came home on Thursday, I was in no hurry. I wanted to see what he was going to do. Yes, he picked me up, carried me to the bedroom, and made love to me.

James goes to work on Friday. I rang the third PD reminding him about James.

"All is arranged," he said.

We had two social nights out over the weekend, one at the Golf Club on Saturday. And one at the Tennis Club on Sunday. I dressed in my short dress for the Golf club evening. While we were there, four good-looking men danced with me. All had a look like James, I danced with them twice. I danced with James six times. The four who had danced with me were eyeing me up. I knew what they wanted. We went home. We made love giving that poor bed more punishment.

Sunday at the Tennis Club, I danced with two of the same men I danced with at the Golf club. Each of them held me tight this time and all two made indications of what they wanted from me. When we got home, we gave that poor bed even more punishment, we will have to get a new bed soon.

Monday James prepares himself for the third of his two-day trips. I had a good idea the same thing was going to happen.

On Tuesday, I had the day off work, went to the clinic, and asked for a Diaphragm to be fitted. Then I was going to read the diary, I knew it was a code. I could figure it out but it made no sense so far.

Then I had an idea. There could be a clue. I spread out the Photographs on the table. Opened the diary and played a DVD and was looking at the letters.

I did not want to watch the DVDs of James screwing these women. Fast forward to trying to work out the code. I watched the first two in Fast Forward, it should be more than enough. I did not want to watch the DVD of him having sex with other women who could not blame me.

But I had to watch the recordings. Now it all made sense the diary code most of it was broken. All except for a few other letters and numbers.

I waited until Thursday night for James to come home from his trip.

I would run to him jumping into his arms. Wrapping both my arms around his neck. Kissing him long and hard. Wrapping my legs around his waist. Then he would carry me to the bedroom. This time I stayed in the kitchen and waited for him to make the first move. He picked me up and carried me to the bedroom. He made love to me.

I had a big problem. I now knew he was having three affairs.

Friday James went to work. I phoned the third PD and asked for an update. He told me what the others told me.

"Everything we have will be with you Monday," he said.

"My last words to him, please complete my request," I said.

I stopped taking the pill that night. I relied on the Diaphragm from now on when we made love. The start of my period was that Friday. Our next sex with James would be when he returned next Thursday night. I used the Diaphragm from now on when James and I made love.

James did not want any children! BUT I DID!

I was going to get pregnant by two men behind James's back! He was cheating on me! I was going to cheat on him big time but to have kids and to make him pay for years of cheating on me. Off to the clinic and tested for STD. I went back regularly to make sure I was all clear.

Saturday at the Golf Club, one of the men who I danced with got a surprise. I told him we were going to make love on Monday.

That Monday when he came in.

"This is the proposal," I said to him.

"We are going to have sex, for the next three nights. And the same next week and the following weeks. Until I become pregnant with your child," I said.

"What's the catch," he said.

"There is no catch and no strings attached. Once I am pregnant with your child. We will stop seeing each other right away," I said.

"No strings," he said.

"No, strings attached," I said.

"I have only four requests from you," I said.

"What they are," he said.

"I want your DNA as proof the child is yours. You don't mention our sex with anyone, I want your full name and your parent's address. And I will get in touch in eighteen years or so with my final requests," I said.

"My name is Frank Thomson; my parents live at 100 Dover Street, No strings attached," he said.

"No string and I will not be asking you for a penny," I said.

"When we meet in eighteen years, I will tell you everything you ask of me. Do you agree YES or NO?" I said to him,

"Yes," he said.

I was pregnant that month. We stopped seeing each other. I waited for another month to make sure I was pregnant. When James came home. I told him the news that we were going to have a baby and he was not too pleased. During the pregnancy, James still cheated on me and the baby was a boy. James to my surprise fell in love with the boy we named George.

When James was at home, he became a father. I had been using the Diaphragm for five months.

We went to the Golf Club for a well-deserved night out. I danced and looked around for Frank Thomson, yes, he was not there. A different man asked me to dance. Yes, I did the same thing with him. Within two short months, I was pregnant. I waited a month. Then I told James.

His name was Fred Tomlinson. The baby came, it was a boy. James was happy we named him David. I went back on the pill and was never going to come off it. The Diaphragm was dropped in the bin. In the last few years, I had what I wanted. When James was at home. He was the best father anyone could ask for.

Eighteen years had now passed and I had two good kids. But it was now time for payback. James was still cheating on me. I called Frank Thomson's parent's house and asked where I could get in touch with him.

They gave me his phone number. I phoned him in the evening. I told him who was and asked to meet him. He remembered me and we had lunch. I gave him photographs of his son and a DVD of him growing up.

"If you remember No strings attached," he said.

"Yes, I agreed with him."

"But if you remember back then I had one final request. Would you do me one more thing in about three years," I said.

I told Frank Thomson what I wanted, and he agreed there and then. I kissed him on the cheek, saying "I would be in touch."

I tracked down Fred Tomlinson. I gave him photographs of his son and a DVD of him growing up.

"Would you do me one more thing in about three years," I said. I told him what I wanted to do and he agreed.

The next stage was going to be the hardest thing ever in my life. I had instilled in my two children to be loving, truthful, and honest. Now it was my time to be loving, truthful, and honest with my two children.

THEN TO TELL MY HUSBAND!

I started to put my thoughts down on paper. I threw it away. I thought it would be much better to come out as I spoke to them. My two will be at my home on Tuesday. I asked them to stop overnight. This meeting with my two was going to be the hardest thing I had to do. I had to be open with them.

I had six bottles of wine for them. Bottle of Brandy for myself I was going to need it. On the table were piled up lots of papers and DVDs. They all arrived and we sat down all with a full glass. My boys looked at me.

"Mum you are going a little over the top with that glass of brandy?" they said.

"I was going to need it," I said.

I looked at the two of them in turn. "I love the two of you so very much."

With a lump in my throat.

"When I am dead; my love for each of you will be pouring out to you from the grave forever and ever," I said.

The two of them tried to stop me from talking.

"Please do not interrupt me," I said.

I gulped looking at the two of them.

"What I am going to tell you is tearing me apart but it will hurt each of you please forgive me. I hope you two will understand," I said.

"I am going to start at the beginning," I said.

I looked at George. "Well, it all started twelve months before you were born. James came home on a Thursday night and we made love."

"About nine he sat up and turned to the side of the bed. I looked at his back, my eyes popped out!"

"On his back were long scratch marks on both his shoulders; they were not made by me."

"I knew that night he was cheating on me. I had to find out more before I could challenge James. BUT I NEVER DID, I SHOULD HAVE DONE!" I spoke.

I paused.

"Picked up my mobile phone and we went back to the bedroom. We made love. He fell asleep before me, I picked up my phone and photographed the long scratch marks on both his shoulders. He went fishing on Saturday until three pm then came home. While he was out. I picked up his diary looking for the pages with groups of letters and numbers. They had no meaning and I never gave it a second thought. He had written down some letters and a number for this Saturday was meaningless," I said.

I paused.

"Here is a picture of those long scratch marks on both his shoulders, you can see the time and date. On Monday, James went to the office preparing for his next three days away from Tuesday to Thursday. The trips were always to the same three hotels James used in the same room in the case. I had to get hold of him. Monday I was searching for PDs in each city, and I found three." I said to my kids.

I paused.

"I rang the first city PD. And requested him to check up on my husband; he accepted. I asked for photos and recordings of him in his hotel bedroom and told him it was James's name. I gave him my mobile number and said to use the code word HELP. I did the same thing for the following week, With a different PD telling him the name of the hotel and room number. I asked for a photo recording of him in his hotel bedroom and told him it was James' name. I gave him my mobile number and said to use the code word HELP. I did the same thing for the third week, With a different PD, telling him the name of the hotel and room number. I asked for photos and a recording of him in his hotel bedroom and told him James's full name. I gave him my mobile number and said use a code word," I said.

I paused.

"Weeks went by. I received Photographs, DVDs, and reports from the three PDs. James was cheating on me and having three affairs. You can see piles of papers and DVDs on the table, I want you to watch the DVDs. I will be out of the room. I picked up my glass of brandy and drank up. I have already watched all of them," I said.

In the first DVD.

She was tall with blond hair and she had a well-shaped figure. She had his penis in her mouth, sucking away. James, holds her head, making sure she did not have a chance to pull away from him. James cried out I am Cumming and filled her mouth with his sperm. At that moment, I broke the code.