Author's Note: Thanks again to both my volunteer editors, anonymous and findingmyvoice. Ladies, I'm in your debt. Again, any mistakes you find are mine. You know the reason, just look for my claw marks. {grins bearing tusks}
****
I sat and stared at our home computer. My husband had left earlier that afternoon to visit his client in Phoenix for a few days. He'd given me the password for the two encrypted files before he'd left. They contained the evidence of my affair.
It was only a laptop but it might as well have been a basket with a cobra inside. I couldn't make myself touch it. Finally, I clicked on the encrypted file named 'Alpha' and typed in the password. It took several minutes to restore but soon a single folder sat in the center of my screen. It was labeled 'Chicago.'
I tried the 'Omega' file as well but the password didn't work. Apparently, David didn't want me looking at that one yet. I didn't know what his game was but I felt I didn't have any choice but to see it through.
A double-click on 'Chicago' and I felt like Alice falling down the rabbit-hole as my worst fears were realized.
Rachel Hughes had been thorough and the overwhelming evidence of my affair was terrifying. There were detailed reports from private investigators. The reports showed Mark and I were being watched even before our affair had started. There were copies of emails, recorded phone conversations, receipts, and even two videos from that week in Chicago. And the pictures... oh gawd... the pictures. There were pictures of Mark and I having sex in Chicago and several other times at the office. Visual evidence I'd done things with Mark that I hadn't done with David until after the affair. My guilt threatened to overwhelm me as I fought to breathe.
I went through all the evidence like a coroner doing an autopsy. I needed to know exactly what my husband had seen. The more I saw, the less hope I had for my marriage. I was ashamed and horrified at the things I'd said and done. The videos and phone conversations were full of harsh comments and slights towards my marriage. I never said anything bad about David but I'd sung praise upon praise about Mark's prowess in bed.
I sat stunned for hours as I tried to comprehend how David could still be with me after seeing and hearing all of that. I broke down and called him even though I knew he wouldn't answer. I left messages... yes messages... several messages over the next 24 hours. In some I cried and pleaded for forgiveness, in others I stoically begged him not to leave me. Truth be told, I was an emotional basket case.
I called Mark and told him the extent of David's evidence and where it had come from. He was livid. I'd like to say I cared but by then I didn't. Knowing I wasn't the only one having a horrible weekend was actually a little comforting.
David called late Friday night.
"Hello, David?"
"Sarah," he replied in a calm dead voice.
"Honey, I... I'm so sorry..." I whispered struggling to contain my emotions.
"I know. I believe you but it may not make a difference."
I felt my heart breaking.
"Please, David..." I begged.
"Sarah, you don't understand, there's more. For the file called 'Omega,' the password is 'Phoenix.' Just like the password suggests, we'll see if we can rise from the ashes. You'll need to see what's in it before you make any promises. I won't be home till Sunday evening. Whether I stay or not will be up to you.
"We'll discuss everything on Monday when we meet with Mr. James. Sarah, please remember I love you, even with all this."
David disconnected and I went back over to our computer. I typed in the password and soon I was looking at a folder labeled 'Hedge Funds.'
It took me several minutes, but I worked up the nerve to click on the folder. Inside were three subfolders. Each named after a city; Atlanta, Dallas, and Phoenix.
ATLANTA
I began to realize the extent of David's revenge when I looked in this folder. The tears I'd shed earlier, out of shame, were quickly replaced with those of sorrow and frustration.
Her name was Victoria and she had to be in her mid-to-late forties. She was still beautiful and had obviously enhanced her trim figure with breast implants. I couldn't tell if she was a brunette or a redhead since she'd shaved. So how did I know that? There were pictures and videos. Lots of pictures and videos!
There in front of me was the graphic evidence of David's affair. So how did I handle the love of my life's infidelity? Simple, I threw-up. I didn't even make it to the bathroom.
After cleaning up my mess, I lay on our bed, screamed into my pillow, and let the emotional dam burst. I let all the guilt, shame, fear, despair, and anger pour out as I cried myself to sleep. I woke a few hours later still exhausted, took our laptop to a different room, and re-examined the evidence.
The emails told the real story. He had met her online over a year ago. Once they'd established an online relationship, he'd found a client in Atlanta. Now he was writing his trips off as business travel.
I was taken aback at how sexually aggressive she was. She gave new meaning to the word 'cougar.' She had no inhibitions when it came to sex and it was very obvious she was experienced... very experienced.
I wouldn't be surprised if the slut had a donkey tied up next to her bed at night.
From the emails it appeared David had ended the relationship a month ago. About the same time he'd received his proof from Rachel.
Numb and exhausted I went to the next folder.
DALLAS
My somber mood changed when I opened it. With a single click, my frustration turned to rage and I threw my coffee cup against the wall.
Damn, another mess to clean up.
The woman's name was Leigh and she couldn't have been more than 22 years-old. She had two young children and was obviously using my husband as a 'sugar daddy.' Her baby-daddy was in jail for drugs and David had been paying her rent with some of the money he'd 'lost' in bad investments.
She was a tall, attractive, willowy girl with long blonde hair and sported a multitude of tattoos and piercings. Not the type of girl I would've thought David would go for since she looked like she might've eaten him alive. Unfortunately, the videos showed she'd done just that... literally. I think she'd actually tried to kill him with sex!
The pictures were graphic and she was so young. I found it hard to breathe and realized I was shaking as I sat back. I didn't know how my marriage could survive this.
This affair had started right after David had found out about Mark and it had lasted over a year. They broke it off after she'd found someone she'd thought she might be in love with. It had ended a couple of months ago.
I called David, again he didn't answer. The message I left this time was very different from the earlier ones. While those had a sense of remorse and regret, this one didn't.
I believe I threatened to cut off his balls and shove them where that little slut would have a hard time finding them. I'm sure I also commented on his need to buy a whore that young. When I was through, my heart was pounding, my body was trembling, and I was probably frothing at the mouth like a rabid dog.
Did it make me feel better? Yeah, a little bit. Did it change anything? No, not a damn thing!
Exhausted, I opened the final folder.
PHOENIX
I wasn't sure what to expect but anything short of David having a male lover or marrying a farm animal wouldn't have surprised me. What was inside was worse.
Her name was Anna Marie and she was a beautiful, well-endowed, Hispanic woman in her early thirties. She was at least 30 pounds overweight, but her voluptuous curves hid most of it. Her most striking feature, beside her obvious 'endowments,' was her beautiful face that was silhouetted with curly, long black hair. Her warm, brown eyes were set off by a genuinely contagious smile.
I instantly both liked and hated her.
David had met her online as well. She had three school-aged kids and her husband had abandoned them several years earlier. They'd had a rough time of it, but things were going much better now that David had become involved.
I looked for risqué pictures and videos but found very little. There were some pictures of her in a bathing suit and of her with her kids. There were a few sexy 'selfies' she'd taken in her bathroom mirror that were pretty unflattering since they made her butt look even bigger than it was. There was also a webcam video of her doing an extremely amateurish striptease.
Maybe she should've taken lessons from that Victoria bitch.
I read through their emails and things took on a different light. Unlike Victoria, David hadn't found a client in Phoenix to visit. Anna Marie was his client. Actually, he had invested heavily in her floral boutique so it could expand and damned if her business wasn't doing great.
From her emails, it was easy to tell she was falling in love with my husband. I could tell he cared for her as well even though he was keeping her at an arm's distance. Then I realized he was probably with her even as I was reading those messages.
I took a picture off the bedroom wall and studied it. It was a picture of the four of us at the lake several years ago. The smiles on my children's faces warmed my heart and the looks that David and I were giving each other were full of passion and joy. They could only be described as... love.
I knew I'd jeopardized my family for the thrill of an affair. I accepted my part in this mess. It was my weakness that put my marriage so close to the edge. David had pushed it to the brink and now it sat there teetering.
I curled up on our bed and hugged the picture as the tears began to fill my eyes again. I was amazed I had any more left but there they were. These weren't tears of anger or of sorrow... these were tears of fear. Now I realized how close my marriage was to ending and I was terrified.
****
I wasn't sure how I'd greet him when he came home Sunday night. Would I throw my arms around him and hold him tightly, or throw myself at his feet and beg him to stay, or would I take a knife and cut the bastard's balls off? All three were definite possibilities.
The actual homecoming was anticlimactic. David came in, gave me a small hug and kissed me on the cheek. Then he asked the hard question.
"Am I staying here tonight?" he asked in a tired voice.
I silently nodded and he went upstairs to the guest bedroom. We hardly spoke that night or the next morning. We both chose to bury ourselves in our jobs before we met in counseling later that day.
****
We sat on Mr. James' couch and looked at each other. David briefly described the things he'd left for me to see. It'd taken him much longer to explain because I'd continually interrupted and sniped at him at every possible point. I admit it... I was hurt and mad as hell! Finally, Raymond asked me to leave the room so David could finish. I wanted to stay so I found a way to bridle my anger.
