Dear reader:
Not long ago I read a wonderful story written by FarmerJill https://www.literotica.com/s/a-total-lack-of-respect
This story is not a rewrite or a different ending. I liked her story as is. This story is more of an homage to FarmerJill's. If reconciliation storylines offend you then don't read this. There is very little sex described and a lot of self examination for the characters.
As always, I hope you enjoy.
As I walked up the stairs to meet with my husband and our marriage counsellor I repeated my mantra to myself with every step.
"Don't fuck this up, don't fuck this up."
I had possibly been the worst wife in the history of bad wives. Now my husband of ten years wants a divorce. Based solely on the evidence stacked against me I am guilty as sin.
So how badly have I screwed up this marriage?
The first few years were wonderful. We wanted children so we started early. We had a boy and a girl, Jason and Joan.
We used to go everywhere together when I was an intern at the law firm, Dewey, Scruem and Howe. We took the kids to Disney world, Daytona Beach and Myrtle Beach. Ed and I even took a cruise together while my parents looked after the kids, it was so romantic.
My career took off at the law firm. They recognized my talent and work ethic, I was given more and more responsibility, tougher cases and I had a stellar reputation for winning. That was when I started putting in more time. My success came at a cost. It ate into the time I could spend with my family.
No matter how good you are, the path to be made a partner is long and hard. I brought work home with me. Soon I was avoiding family responsibilities. I missed birthdays, anniversaries and more. Vacations were a thing of the past.
My husband confronted me several times to wake up and smell the rot in our marriage. I simply threw on nose plugs and kept on working.
My husband was a labourer. He was a 'salt of the earth' kind of man. He enjoyed hard work and working with his hands. He loved the kids and he picked up the parenting duties when I couldn't, which was all the time. I fell in love with his simple values and joy of life. I ended up crapping all over those values in my pursuit of partnership.
The harder I tried to earn it, the farther away it seemed. It was like someone was constantly moving the goalposts.
One of the law firm partners was a playboy, Stanley Howe, a real player who always had a sweet young thing on his arm. I used to sneer at his ridiculous and vacuous lifestyle. That was until he lingered in my office one day.
"Hey Dana, can I have a word with you?"
"Sure Stan, what's up?"
"You've been putting in some very long hours lately and word is that you have your sights set on partnership."
"Thanks for noticing. Yes, that's my goal."
"How badly do you want it?"
"I'm already neglecting my family and only sleeping a couple of hours a night. I can't work any harder or I'll start losing cases because I'm falling asleep on my feet."
"Work/Life balance is a bitch isn't it? Why don't you have dinner with me tonight and we'll talk more about it."
He walked out of my office. If I'd had any sense I would've walked out the door of the law firm and never looked back.
The dinner was at his club. I had called Ed to tell him I wouldn't be home for dinner, he was not amused.
We sat in a nice private area. We had cocktails, a bottle of wine and flaming Sambucas after dinner. I was not just tipsy, I was drunk as hell.
Stan had been sweet talking me all night. He told me he was on the fence about my partnership and wanted to be convinced that I really wanted it.
"How can I convince you?"
"I'm sure you know my reputation as a womanizer. I simply appreciate the company of beautiful women. You are a very beautiful woman and I'm sure you could easily convince me."
"Stan, you know I am married. Besides, I am not as young as your regular girlfriends."
"Women of a certain age are far more interesting and exciting. We are talking about a fast track and relatively easy path to partnership."
"I can't, Ed would kill me."
"He'd never know. Before you say no, give it some thought. I'll keep the offer on the table."
I'll give him this, the man was relentless. I wish I could say that I wasn't tempted, not because I thought I would enjoy it, but because it was a fast track to my goal.
I wish that I had come to Ed and told him about it, but I didn't. I was afraid that he would insist I quit or he might get angry and try to hurt Stan. I had all kinds of excuses not to involve my husband, none of them good.
Ed, God bless him, sat me down one day. No phones, no TV, just him and I, face to face, one on one.
"I am concerned about our marriage. You are working yourself to death. You are putting in way too many hours. I thought it was going to get better after the Miller case but it hasn't. The kids wonder why Mommy is never home, why Mommy never plays with us, doesn't she love us?
I keep assuring them that you are just very busy at work but it's been like this for years. You worked your way through two years of birthdays, you weren't even in town for Christmas and Easter. I've asked you to go on vacation with me but you never have the time. I don't like where this is heading. I'm an understanding and patient man but I have a limit and you're right at that limit."
"I am so close to making partner at the firm. I need to do this Ed. It's what I've been working towards for so long."
"You are going to have to choose one day, and damn soon, do you love your family or your job? Don't fool yourself, I will end this marriage. You're not the same woman you were, you've become a stranger."
I know in my heart of hearts that he meant that challenge to scare me straight, to choose my family once again.
What it actually did was make me want to make partner asap so I could relax and take a bit more time for my family.
There was an easy and quick and risky answer, Stanley Howe.
As it happened, several of us were going to a conference soon after our discussion. Stan would be there, so would I. It made me think about whether I could really do this or not.
There was no way I was telling Stan about my thoughts because I might decide not to do it. To prepare, just in case I needed it, I bought a pretty bra and panties set as well as a new little black dress. I also tossed in three condoms and some lube, just in case.
I was ready to go.
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Ed's recollection
(One on one with the counsellor)
I didn't mince my words with Dana. I spelled out how our marriage would end if I didn't see a change.
The blatant disrespect for me our family was completely unacceptable but years of that behaviour was just overkill.
One evening I was going through receipts and categorized them by type. Dana never took the time to do this and it was important to keep drug store receipts separate for tax purposes. That's when I spotted something out of place. Someone bought a tube of lube. That was unusual but even worse was an item further down the list, a small box of condoms.
I shook my head and read it three times. We never needed lube and hadn't used condoms in a decade. The only logical conclusion was that the upcoming conference also included a little sexual activity on the side. It was likely someone from work, probably that smug asshole Stanley.
Was she that desperate to make partner or had they been doing this for years? This was devastating. This spelled the end of our marriage.
I toyed with the idea of confronting her ahead of the conference but I hoped against hope she would come to her senses. I did have a conversation with her on the morning before leaving for the conference.
"Dana, have you given any further thought to prioritizing your family? You are slipping away from us and I'm afraid you're going to do something there will be no coming back from."
"I love you guys but I'm almost sure to make partner. I'm standing at the door of my future. Let me go through that door. I'll soon have more time for us."
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Dana's account
(One on one with the counsellor)
Once I got to the conference everything was set. Stan had a room right across from mine. We had a busy day of lectures and workshops and the usual meetings.
We had a group dinner and drinks. Of course our crew from the firm were all very loose and under the influence. I danced with each of the partners and they all told me I was one of the favourites to join them. I was giddy at the prospects for the future.
After many more drinks and lots of dancing we split up and went to our rooms. I looked at the sleepwear I had brought. I had a feeling I would have a late night guest. I wasn't wrong. I decided on the short nightgown that was very light, filmy and showed the best parts of my body.
I didn't have to wait long. Stan knocked on the door. He stood there in his silk pyjamas holding a bottle of champagne in a bucket bucket and two champagne flutes. Talk about a cliché.
He sat on the edge of my bed and poured. It was an almost a cinematic seduction scene. We drank the champagne, he leaned in to kiss me and my phone rang. It was 2am and the phone rang with my husband's ring tone, I answered.
"Hi, what's happening Ed, why are you calling so late?"
"I...I just needed to hear your voice. Dana, I know what you are doing or are planning to do. I saw the drug store receipt. I'm sorry babe, but I've had enough. Please don't come home. Go to your parents or go to a hotel or stay there. You've made your choice."
He hung up. The last words were chocked with emotion. He was obviously on the verge of tears.
The realization that he knew I had made up my mind to cheat smacked me upside the head like a two by four piece of lumber.
I tried calling him back but he wasn't picking up. By the third time I tried he had turned the phone off.
