It started a year before your 40th birthday. We were talking over coffee and I asked you what you wanted to do for the big 4-0. I was thinking you'd want me to plan you a surprise party. Something.... Mundane.
"I want to watch another guy fuck you." Remind me to never underestimate you again.
I legitimately choked on my coffee. I stared at you to see if you were joking. No way after 13 years married is this the first time I was hearing this. You had to be joking.
You weren't. I told you I'd think about it. But really, I had no plans on thinking about that. It made me feel dirty. You wanted to watch another guy touching me? To kiss me? To slide inside me?? I felt like I'd walked through the looking glass and wasn't sure how I liked it.
About a month later I came around. I had thought really long and hard about it. Pun intended. Maybe.
I had some ground rules. Biggest one being I didn't want to have anything to do with finding a guy. That was all you. I'd taught myself how to get off even when the sex wasn't mind-blowing. So to me the guy doesn't matter.
You went about posting a few pictures of me. And got some hits. You kept me in the loop. It didn't take long before we were at some podunk bar waiting for The Guy to show up. Just to meet.
I was nervous. My worst fear being that he'd take one look at me and walk away. So I did what anyone else in my shoes would have done. I drank.
The Guy was running late and I was getting drunker by the minute. By the time he showed up I was well into being a bubbly drunk. You and him talked for a bit while I sat there and smiled like a damn Stepford wife.
I wasn't really paying attention to what you guys were saying. It seemed to be boring. My heart felt like it was slowing down. This didn't seem like a precursor to fucking another guy's wife. I'm not sure what I expected but I guess you could best explain what I thought would happen would be akin to a secret best friend handshake.
The three of us walked out to the parking lot together. Still smiling like a fool just a cold fool now. I really wanted to get Starbucks after. To sober up and get warm.
"Do you want to kiss her?"
Wait what? It's like my vision suddenly cleared and all of a sudden The Guy's moving towards me. His face in my face.
His tongue is down my throat before I have a chance to take a breath. It's awkward for like 10 seconds before I remind myself this is what you want. It's okay for me to kiss back. So I do.
I love to kiss. It's like a lost art form. I feel his hands on my waist. Is this okay?, I think as I can feel him pressed against my body. I can feel him hard against my thigh.
I break the kiss off. Mainly because I was pretty sure I'd pass out if we didn't.
"How about we do this now?" The Guy says.