I will admit that I was not completely sure why or how I ended up at Tammy's house that evening.
Earlier I had turned and walked out of the hotel room door, leaving my ex-wife Patty sitting there nearly naked, a look of surprise on her face.
Years of fantasy, anguish, wanting her and not being able to have her, it all came down to that one moment. I looked at her and knew. Patty was just back for more, I could see it.
Had she been dressed nicely to go out, had we done the dinner and a few drinks bit, perhaps the outcome might have been different. The truth is that I was vulnerable, the bad times had faded, the memories of the good times stayed in my mind.
I went up the Patty's hotel room, thinking of going out, having a nice evening, then maybe..a nice roll in the hay?
Instead she threw sex at me right off the bat, just expecting that that would be all it would take for her to get in control.
Patty knew I was fairly well off, easy for her to find out as part of her job running a real estate firm. I understood that she wanted some of it, so she just used the one tool at her disposal that always worked.
Sex.
My mind was so full of thoughts after I just walked out leaving her sitting there that I really hadn't paid attention to where I was going, I was just driving.
Then I was pulling up in front of Tammy's house.
I had probably only been there 10 times in the last decade, when I needed something done, or had a concern about the business. Tammy always knew what to do, she knew where everything was, she missed absolutely nothing.
I certainly remember the day I met Tammy, she walked into the shop to apply for a job. I was at the point where trying to do everything myself was becoming impossible, the file cabinet was a box shoved over in a corner. We had a computer but it was down, damn thing was always down. I was writing myself notes to remind me to remember everything, but I was forgetting where I put the notes of course. My desk looked like the top of it was shingled with postits.
Hal, the man that ran my shipping department took the application, brought it in to my office.
"There is a gal out there looking for the job as secretary!" He grinned as he handed me the papers.
"Bet you can get her cheap!" he added, then went back to his duties at the shipping counter.
I looked over the application, the writing was strong and neat. "Great organizational skills", she had written. I spotted the 4 years of college, then the "105 WPM" without error part?
That almost brought a snicker from me, I typed about 17 words per minute myself.
105 words per minute, yea..sure.
What the hell, I got up to go see what I had here.
My first surprise was Tammy was a pretty African woman, barely 30 as I had seen on the application.
Of course there was no place to mark an applicant's race on the form. It didn't matter, I wasn't prejudiced, I just never even thought about any of that.
She stood and smiled at me, her hands absentmindedly smoothing the sides of the flowery dress she wore.
"Is there any more information I can offer you regards my skills?" she said.
"Uhhh...I was curious about the typing?" I said lamely, still a bit surprised. I had expected to see a nice chubby white woman.
I was really hoping to hire an efficient Mom type.
I blushed, realizing she had spotted my discomfort.
"May I demonstrate?" she said, with that same sweet smile.
"Uhhh...sure, but the computer doesn't work, we don't have a...."
"Oh, let me take a look."
Tammy walked over to the computer, touched a button and up popped that damn blue screen. That is all the thing ever did, I had tried and tried to make it work, calling that Gates guy a few choice names in the process.
Then she tapped some keys at once rapidly,and a background screen appeared. A few seconds later she had the front screen open.
"What would you like me to type?"
I handed her the application form, now surprised at how fast she made the system work.
She glanced at the form, her fingers danced across the keyboard for a few minutes. They didn't click, it was a whirring sound. Then she hit print, nothing happened. She opened another screen, typed in a few lines and the printer started.
I am sure my mouth was hanging open.
She turned and handed me the printout. I looked at it, back at her.
"You are hired!" I said.
She didn't even ask me what the salary was.
By the end of the second week my desk was clean and organized, she even dusted and polished it. She made coffee for me, perfect every time. Every document I asked for seemed to magically appear from the filing cabinet she had asked me to buy for her. I gave her a signed check expecting her to spend a grand or two, she came back with a good used one she found somewhere for $60.
Within a month Tammy was more or less running the company. I remember handing her her first paycheck.
"That is more than I expected." she said, looking at the figure.
"Well, you are more than I expected!" I told her.
So for nearly 10 years, my business grew. In all that time I never really thought about Tammy as other than my best asset. I just did not see a black lady when I worked and talked with her, she was just...Tammy?
Then my ex-wife Patty showed up.
"Skank!" Tammy had called Patty, reverting to a sing song manner of speech. Her head seemed to rock back and forth, her eyes flashed with irritation. That was another surprise, I had never heard her do that. Then I spotted the tear in her eye, she had tried to turn away quickly to hide it.
"Now what the hell?" Was my exact thought.
That must have been in the back of my mind, after leaving Patty at the hotel room, I drove directly to Tammy's house, asked her to join me for dinner.
Tammy sat beside me on the car seat, snugged up as tightly as the center belt would allow, her head leaned over on my shoulder.
Damned if that didn't feel...perfect?
We had a pleasant meal, she talked about her family, her dreams. The subject of Patty never came up. Later we even danced, I did notice we got some sidelong glances from a few of the other customers.
I didn't care, I was enjoying being with her. She felt good in my arms, her soft breasts pressed against my chest, my hand on her waist. The moment, the music, everything around caused sensations and thoughts to pop in my head that I had long since forgotten.
Or at least shoved firmly to the back of my mind.
The evening was finally over, I pulled up at her house, walked her to her door.
I admit I was thinking about what if, maybe?
Yes, I am male, I was thinking about...sex?
I didn't have the nerve to just reach for her, she handled that for me. She leaned in, kissed me on the cheek, then pulled back.
"Thank you, Dan. That was so nice, I really had a good time."
I went home, I lay in bed for a long time thinking. Finally after several hours of trying to sleep, I got up and went to the bathroom, frustrated. I began the ritual, trying to bring thoughts of Patty into my head, like so many times before.
Instead, I saw Tammy in my mind's eye, doing that little spin for me in the pretty full length dress. Then in my fantasy I felt her again, her breasts pressed against me, happy and content.
That was all it took.
The next day I was busy writing some bids when the intercom buzzed.
"Patty Wilkins to see you, Dan. Should I show her in?" Tammy's voice had that edge to it again.
"Sure."
Patty walked into my office, sat down in a chair. She wore a filmy blouse, the type I remembered she always wore. She also had on one of those ever present too short skirts.
I suspected she was nude underneath, that was her style.
"So what's up?" I asked.
"I wanted to apologize for last night."
"No need."
"I moved too fast, didn't I?"
I didn't answer.
"I think we should try, we always did belong together."
"Patty, it's been 20 years. I am not the same man I was....."
"I was too young, foolish." She cut in, tears forming in her eyes.
I just looked at her.
She suddenly smiled, her fingers reached up, absentmindedly tugged at the edge of her blouse.
My eyes dropped down to her breasts, soft and obvious under the thin material. She caught my glance, grinned.
I looked away, uncomfortable. I was wondering where the tears went so quickly.
"I filled out quite a bit." Her back arched slightly.
"Three kids I guess?" I told her.
"Yes, but I am still in good shape."
"Well, it's nice to see you, Patty. But I have a lot of work....."
"Come with me for lunch at least?"
"Please?"
"All right." I said, against my better judgement.
I closed the file I was working on. As we walked out the door I caught the sidelong glance from Tammy, she shot daggers at Patty's back.
There was a little diner just down the street, so we walked. Patty rambled on about everything under the sun, I really wasn't hearing much of it.
I was worried about what Tammy would think.
Lunch went the same way, she was talking and talking, trying hard to be funny, laughing at her own stories.
"Dan, are you all right? You seem...preoccupied?"
"I guess I am, Patty. I think I know what you are trying to do and it won't work."
