"I, Riley Baxter, am a patient man. Now some people mistake patience for being wimpy. I am not a wimp. I bet some of you are thinking that I'm a 'I don't get mad, I get even' type of guy. Wrong. I am a 'revenge greater than the injury' type of guy. Not many people know that because by waiting I have been able to structure revenges without implicating myself. Most people probably think I'm a wimp, but, I warn you, don't do anything that might incur my wrath.
"My wife, Farrah, waited 17 years into our marriage to take advantage of her perception of me being a wimp. Once our daughter was old enough to drive, Farrah decided she no longer needed to be a housewife and started working as a Personal Assistant for a friend from church, Al Baker, who managed the local office of an accounting firm. She seemed to enjoy it and we would have more money for our retirement. That is, once she kept from needing to add more clothing suitable for an office than the home.
"How did I find out about her betrayal? First of all, I am a suspicious man also. My wife has always been very attractive, decent breasts, great legs and a better than average ass. Men notice her but their jaws only lower rather than drop. Now that she's almost 40, she seeks affirmation of her attractiveness more blatantly, usually from other men.
The advantage I have always had over other potential cuckolds is that I saved Jimmy Reston's life in Desert Storm I. Not that I'm a hero but in order to save my own skin, it was just as easy to save his too. Anyway, he said he would always be in my debt. His debt has been paid many times over by all the Personal Investigator services his firm has provided to me for free. Five times in the first 17 years of our marriage, something seemed wrong to me and I asked Jimmy to check it out. Five times it either proved wrong or Farrah or her potential lover changed her/his mind before it really got serious.
"The clue to the latest suspicion was her being nice to me. I know that may sound weird, but you get used to a certain level of 'niceness' from your spouse. A decline or rise in niceness can be an indication of something naughty going on. As usual, I called Jimmy and told him about her new job, therefore daily schedule. It took less than ten days to get pictures, report and audio. The biggest surprise of me was that Farrah's lover was not her boss Al. Instead, she was taking a long lunch once a week with one of the younger accountants. They were meeting at a local motel known for hourly rates. It was so familiar to Jimmy's PI firm that they had a standard agreement and fee from the motel owner to get evidence on potential adulterers.
"So what did I do with the information? I waited. I am a patient man. Although we still had a daughter at home, she would be going off to college soon. Her college fund would not be affected. A divorce would have financially hurt my wife and I both about equally or me even harder than her. I had Jimmy get me as much information as possible on the accountant and his family, especially his wife. Once I found out that his wife was somewhat of a ball-buster, I solicited the help of our neighborhood femi-nazi who had gone through a nasty divorce. She was not interested in talking to me at first, but when she found out she could help put the screws to cheating bastard, she agreed to do it without pay. I was not surprised, however, when Maggie changed her mind later and took the money.
"Maggie found out where the accountant's wife went during the day and, 'coincidentally', kept running into her. They built a friendship based quite a bit on making fun of husbands. One topic of discussion became what they would do if they caught a husband who was unfaithful. The example of Lorena Bobbitt was in the news and cutting off penises was becoming in vogue. Maggie suggested that she would use pinking shears because the ragged edge cut would make it harder to sew the penis back on. The accountant's wife laughed at the prospect, but it planted a seed in her mind. The seed I wanted planted.
"Although the affair had stopped in the last few months, I sent the accountant's wife pictures from the motel. I only sent ones that did not show my wife's face. A few days later, the news reports were quick to tell about a man whose wife had cut his penis off with pinking shears apparently because of an affair he was having. I noticed that my wife seemed especially upset after work that day. Naturally, I asked what the matter was.
"Farrah said that one of the accountants she worked with was in the hospital because of an 'accident' and would probably not be able to come back to work. She felt sad for him and his family. I asked if she was planning to visit him in the hospital. Farrah quickly shouted, 'No!' before realizing how emotionally she had reacted. Her follow-up was 'I didn't really know him that well. There's no need to go see him. Can we change the subject?' I agreed but it was hard not to smile.
"My wife continued the niceness for awhile longer and then we got back to where things were before her affair. I was still waiting for the right opportunity to get revenge against her when the niceness started again. You know the drill: Jimmy, PI, surveillance, and report. This time, however, there were no photos or audio. The PI was convinced that she was doing it with her boss Al at the office. He just did not have proof. We coordinated a series of phone calls, me to Farrah, and fake customers to Al. By process of elimination, we found out that Thursday afternoons between 1 and 3 both Al and Farrah were in a conference not to be disturbed. Close but still not proof. Finally, we were able to bribe the night janitor to place a tape recorder under the Conference Room table on Wednesday night and remove it the next night. On Friday we had the audio proof I needed. You know what I did? I waited. I am a patient man. Once our daughter went off to college, I was ready.
"I guess this is where I should admit what a hypocrite I am. Part of the reason why I was able to be so patient while my wife was bumping pelvises with another man was that I was enjoying the pleasures of my secretary. When I hired a new secretary, I chose one based on need for money and lack of husband/boyfriend. Cissy was a single mother and desperate for a job. We quickly arrived at a deal for duties not listed on her job description and extra funds off the books. We were both pleased. It was agreed that if she found someone to marry, she would go back to being just a secretary at normal pay.
"Now, back to Farrah and Al. Again, with the information on his family. Although I knew Al and his wife, Mildred, socially, I was not aware of their personal history. Mildred was a large rather rough character while Al was smallish and smooth. I guess women would say he was charming. When I found out that Mildred was a softball star in college, the idea came to me. I invited Mildred to lunch on 'Cheating Thursday.' I told her of her husband and my wife's cheating. She didn't believe me at first. I played the tape which was keyed to the parts where he talked about what a bitch his wife was and how he got satisfaction far more from my wife that with his wife. I built Mildred her up to a fever pitch and we went to their office. When we got out of the car, I gave her an aluminum softball bat. Mildred smiled. We went past the suddenly flustered secretary and right to the conference room. The smoked glass on the locked door did not last more than one swing of the bat. Instantly I was able to take pictures of the partially dressed couple while Mildred unlocked the door.
"She started on her husband first. A blow to the top of his head caused him to hold both arms up which, in turn, left his front open. The spiked tip of her high heeled shoe changed his formerly potent sperm maker into a future attachment of no consequence. He went down into a fetal position. Her attention turned to Farrah. Mildred was focused on her head. Farrah covered her face which led to her hands being destroyed besides considerable cranial damage. Somehow Farrah kept consciousness, which was not to her advantage. As long as Farrah was awake, Mildred kept wailing on her. I almost felt bad for Farrah, but finally she was out. Mildred stopped. I pulled her over to a chair and sat her down. I knew it would only be a matter of time before the building's security and the city police would be there. Mildred and I were content to wait for them. Suddenly Mildred jumped up and kicked her husband again. I was about to restrain her, however, she volunteered that she was done now and sat back down.
"Mildred was charged with and convicted of aggravated assault and attempted murder. She was perfectly calm during her trial and even enjoyed the playing of the tape was a mitigating circumstance. She got 10 - 15 years. Mildred actually adjusted well to prison becoming an enforcer for one of the toughest gangs in her prison. She also planned to enjoy the windfall she would receive from her alienation of affection suit against Farah, her divorce from Al, and her lawsuit to the accounting firm for not enforcing their nonfraternization policy.
