"Babe, we need to talk."
I have friends who have told me about these words or similar combinations. Most of them are now divorced.
As a medical equipment sales rep, I travel regularly for work and have met a lot of people. My divorced clients all say the same thing.
"Women suck. They draw you in with sex. You marry and the sex is no more. Oh sure, it starts slowly, but eventually... Well, let me ask you. Does your wife still give you head without you having to beg for it?"
I wasn't getting head as often as I used to. I had to agree that that was true.
"My wife that bitch. Ten years into our marriage I was only getting sex scraps. The fucker that lived behind me was getting the main course."
The one thing that they all had in common was that they wished they hadn't got divorced.
"Rick," That's me, "divorce sucks. My wife didn't want a divorce. It was only sex she kept telling me. Maybe she was right. All I know is my emotions and ego got the best of me, and I filed for divorce. My wife fought me on it. But I was stubborn. Eventually, the divorce went through, and life has sucked ever since."
Bob, my recently divorced client, was a nice guy. He said his wife was just bored and looking for a little excitement. She found it, I guess. Bob lost his house to his wife until their kids graduated from college. Not until they turned 18. The house doesn't get sold until the kids graduate from college or his ex-wife remarries.
He pays alimony and child support. He covers the kids' medical, dental, and eye insurance.
Bob is not complaining about anything he has to pay for his kids, but he also pays for his wife's health insurance since she doesn't work.
"Rick, I still love that bitch!"
It hit me like a ton of bricks. I wasn't ready for it. I thought my life was good. My wife gave me head at least... I don't know. Well less but not never. Most times I didn't even have to ask. Once the kids are asleep... it's Mommy and Daddy time. I could just be sitting there watching a game and my wife would be sucking on my dick. How could she do this to me? Maybe it was me. Was I selfish and not reciprocating enough? Was I supposed to go down on my wife while she was watching Yellowstone or maybe the other show, 1883? I know she likes Sam Eliot. My wife has a thing for older men. I'm eight years older than Karen, my wife.
Maybe my problem is I'm too nice of a guy. I'm not a "bad boy." My wife asks for something, and I give it to her. My kids too. We have two of the best kids. Twins. 10-year-old girls. There's an Amazon Christmas Book. They circle what they want, and I buy it for them. I thought that's what I was supposed to do.
I don't want to be a part-time dad.
Fuck! My life is gonna suck just like Bob's if I ask for a divorce.
I make good money. I made great money. But now it will all be my wife's money.
Bob makes good money too. But he says the more he makes, the more he has to pay in alimony. I asked him once why he doesn't just try to work it out work it out. He told me she didn't want to divorce, and he doesn't think she is seeing anyone. Bob's not seeing anyone as far as I know.
Would I be okay with my wife fucking some other guy or guys? Shit! I mean, it sounds like I'm getting more sex than Bob was. Maybe my wife will be fair and not cut me off or give me sex scraps. Maybe her "lover" will get the main course, and I'll get dessert. Dessert is good, right?
Karen is such a good mother. I wouldn't have a prayer in hell of winning custody.
I need to think. I need a list. A few lists.
The pros vs cons of divorce
Finances. I need to hide some money. How am I going to hide money? Karen pays the bills. I'm not even sure how much money we have in the bank. I think we have a savings account too.
Karen made me sign some papers too. "Honey," what are all these papers I'm signing?" I remember asking her.
"Don't worry what it is, just sign on the line that says your name. Date it to Babe."
Babe, she called me babe when I had to sign those papers. She never calls me babe unless she wants something or wants me to do something. Come to think of it, those blowjobs on the couch. The unexpected ones. They have all cost me something.
That fucking convertible! I got more than a blowjob that night.
Hawaii! That was another big night. It was the playoffs too. I missed the whole game. Oh, but was it ever worth it? I sat on the couch as Karen straddled me. Her beautiful tits were in my mouth. Karen knows how much I love to suck on her tits.
"How old were you when your mother stopped breastfeeding you?"
she has asked me a few times.
Maybe I did suck on my mother's breast too long. I don't know and can't believe I'm thinking about my mother's tits.
The holidays are going to suck too. I love it when family comes to our house for Thanksgiving. The guys all stand around the firepit while I deep-fry turkeys. Everyone compliments me on what a wonderful day it was and how good everything tastes. They make a big deal over me. Meanwhile, Karen is slaving in the kitchen for hours doing everything else.
I'm a bad husband for accepting all the credit. But not bad enough that my wife would want to have sex with another guy.
What else have I done wrong? Are there other times when I have taken my wife for granted?
Fuck, why am I so selfish? This was my fault. I have no one else to blame but myself.
But sex? I do try my best. I know I travel a lot for work. But can I be that bad that she needs someone else to offset my shortcomings? Shortcomings! Am I too small to please my wife? Is that it? FUCK! My size is what it is.
I mean, is there some kind of dick-stretching exercise or something? I've heard of a penis pump before. But I have no idea what it is or if it would help. I know Karen measured my dick size years ago. I think she was happy with its size.
I was feeling dizzy.
"Rick! Rick! Are you okay"?
What Where? Karen, where are we? What happened?"
"Calm down Rick. You had some kind of anxiety attached. You passed out falling out of the chair and hit your head. I had to ask the neighbor to watch the girls while I went to the hospital with you."
"So...we're in the hospital."
"Yes babe, you're in the hospital."
"Babe." Fuck she's still calling me babe. Even in the hospital. I could be on my deathbed, but she still wants something from me. I wonder who she's replacing me with.
"Babe"
